I own nothing, all credit to Seth M. Written once again by myself and Nixon :) <3

Chopping the Truant (Cleveland Show)

Roberta cracked the door of the Brown home, trying to be as quiet as possible before peeking inside. The gorgeous ebony teen was topless, not even wearing a bra, and to her horror, she finds her mother and bumbling step-father waiting for her in the doorway. "Oh...h-hey, mama, hey Cleveland. The craziest thing just happened, see, I was out at the um...library...studying...!! My top got caught in the book drop box and, uh...I couldn't get it back!!"
Her mother, Donna, gives her daughter a thousand-yard stare, Cleveland quickly slipped out of the room to avoid the fallout that's about to ensue. Donna started shouting "Roberta, I don't even wanna' hear it. Ariana next door just called and said she saw a cop dropping your sorry butt off at the end of the block!!"
Roberta groans, throwing her hands up in protest, her perky young breasts jiggling as she does so, "Okay, FINE, mama, I was at a party at Federline's place!! What's the big deal?! I'm only a few minutes past curfew!!"
Donna quickly snaps back, "Try a few HOURS, girl!! I am so sick and tired of your crap, Roberta!! I ain't putting up with it anymore, and I freakin' mean it!!"
Roberta rolls her eyes. “Yeah mama, whatever, what are you going to do, ground me? I'm not a kid anymore in case you haven't noticed" Donna's volume decreases, she's now speaking in a calm, even tone "no Roberta, I have noticed, believe me. you're not a child, you're a grown-ass adult who has never held a job, sleeps most of the day, stays out all night, drinks, gets arrested, and makes our family look bad doing it. I'm not going to ground you Roberta, I'm going to kill you. Kill you and serve you up at a block party, get our good name back. Roberta’s eyes get huge.
Donna continues Before you decide to resist, remember that you still have your 'dependant of the family' chip that came with us getting you a phone. give me any trouble and I will shock you, then it will be worse'
Roberta looks shocked "you wouldn't!" seeing no joke, she looks offended, "Uggh! you are the WORST! and right after I fucked that cop to keep this off my record! I was so close, I was gonna be on 'Dolcett's Next Top Spitmuffin! Whatever! Stupid lame parents, bet you don't even KNOW how to snuff a girl right, it's always 'so messy and noisy' when we ask about getting a meatgirl. Lame!"
Donna roughly grabs her bratty daughter by the hair again and shoves her to the floor to prove she isn't messing around this time. In an instant, she begins pulling off her daughter's jeans and then starts sliding her skimpy thong down her toned thighs, "M-mama what the hell?! Don't undress me!!". Donna firmly slaps her daughter's cheek, "Girl, I told you I was serious!! Meatgirls don't wear no clothes!! Besides, we can't donate them to the church if they got your blood all over them!!"
Roberta rolls away, standing up, face flushed and annoyed 'NOT what I meant, like I said, NO clue how this meatgirl thing works. Meatgirls undress THEMSELVES, GOD! Fucking parents, I swear!' As Roberta is saying this, she is pulling her own pants down and stepping out of her panties. at that moment, Ariana, her friend from earlier (not related to the bear in any way), who had noticed and been worried shows up at the door "hey Roberta, are you oka...oh" Roberta sighs "hey Ariana, come on in. this actually works out, I'm apparently meat now, but my geezer parents are new to this, can you PLEASE walk them through this? I really can't tolerate having to coordinate my own damn slaughter!"
Her friend stands impressed, discreetly slipping her friend's thong into her pocket as a souvenir. "Damn, girl, I'm surprised it took this long for you to become an actual meatgirl!! Of course I'll help, I'll even help roast you, I know your mama makes damn fine barbecue!!"
Ariana looks over her friend top to bottom. This is the first time she's seen her friend totally naked like this, she's even more gorgeous than she'd fantasized about. She can't believe she's about to help kill and cook her best friend, it's truly a dream come true.
Roberta rolls her eyes "come on Ariana, I know you're the shy type, but I can't have you staring and distracted, no matter HOW hard you have been crushing on me for the last decade" Ariana looks at her in shock "you knew???" Roberta laughs out loud "of course I knew silly! You're smart, but not subtle, the whole school knows. I've tried bending over to grab something in front of you, giving you a good view down my shirt, I was playing to see how long it would take you to SAY something! I figured after I was moved out, I would ask you to rent a place with me, see if that did the trick, oh well. At least this way I can give my mom a demonstration why a proper meatgirl beats a turkey" and she steps up, wrapping her hand to the small of the redheads back, giving Ariana her first real kiss.
As Ariana’s tongue slide over her friend's. Roberta chuckles "and you know THIS at least is not traditional for the chef!" she says, pulling Ariana's white tee over her head. The innocent nerd gasps. Roberta comes back in, rejoining the kiss as though there had been no break, cupping her friend's incredibly pale breasts, caressing them gently, teasing her nipples enough to get a breathless whimper. Ariana presses her chest the ebony bombshell, with Roberta’s own much larger boobs feeling just as wonderful on her bare skin as Ariana had imagined during many showers. The petite redhead melts into her lover. Without even thinking, she immediately grabs and squeezes her best friend's meaty rump. The thought of getting to taste the ass she had admired after the slow-cook sends a tingle down in her panties.
She hears a cough from Donna ''sorry to hurry you Ariana, but we need to get my delinquent moving if we are going to provide a meal today" Ariana doesn't want to, but she knows that it's too late to change how this day will play out. Breathless, She breaks the kiss and looks Roberta deeply in the eyes, "C'mon, Roberta...let's find out where your parents keep the chopping block...I can't wait to see your neck stretched out on it"
Taking her friend and future meal by the hand, Ariana leads her favorite barbeque babe to the kitchen as Roberta's mother drags a stained and well-scored chopping block from the closet next to the pantry. "Thank goodness Cleveland installed that drain in the floor, otherwise cleaning up after your bratty self would take hours. Anyway, here it is, girls. The Tubbs family chopping block. It's been in my family for decades, glad I finally get to use it on my delicious tramp of a daughter!!"
Roberta suddenly feels a chill of nervousness as she lays eyes on the block. She gives Ariana's hand a firm squeeze and Ariana flashes a reassuring smile.
Ariana's eyes go wide "oh my goodness, I can't believe what I almost forgot!" and she scampered off. Roberta winces, she hadn't forgotten, but she HAD hoped to avoid....Ariana runs back with a BIG ass carrot "I totally forgot Mrs. Brown, these days it's tradition for a girl to die with a carrot in her ass. it's decorative for now, you don't need to cook it with her, it can come out for cleaning, but..." Donna smiles "why THANK you Ariana! Would you mind showing me proper technique to put it in?" Roberta growls, Ariana blushes "whoops sorry Roberta! I just figured, might as well have your mother know how to do it properly" Roberta grumbles "yeah yeah, just get it in there then get my damn head off!" she feels the carrot at her anus 'whoa, WAIT! you....GAHHH!!!! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BUTTER IT!!!!!" Ariana looks horrified, she opens her mouth to apologize profusely when Donna raises the axe. Roberta feels it on her neck, then it is raised, a heartbeat..."THUNK!"
Her head hits the ground, she sees her mother and thinks "I hope you choke on me! ...and I hope...Ariana finds a nice girl soon, she's a ...a sweetie...so tired" and it's lights out.
The party goes without a hitch, Roberta is DELICIOUS, and Ariana does meet someone, she spends the night in the corner of the yard, smelling the fading scents of the feast, in the arms of a girl named Bonnie. Right before the party ends, when nobody else is looking, Ariana pops the apple out of Roberta's mouth and gives the black girl's severed head one final, affectionate kiss. She finishes off one more of her tasty, tender ribs, taking it back to Bonnie to share her first, brief girlfriend with her brand new second!