Well, here it is. About half of Part 5. Was it worth the wait? I certainly hope so.

===Part 5: Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming (0.5 Edition!)===

Eric's day really wasn't going his way.

It was past midday by now, yet he hadn't even found a single customer since his shift started a few hours ago. The driver knew deep in his heart that taxis were a relic of the past in cities like this, something that existed purely for the few that still used it, but he refused to acknowledge it. His passion wouldn't be snuffed out so easily. He was made of sterner stuff than that.

Still, it was hard to maintain a positive outlook with the stream of recent events ever present in his mind. The fire that had burned down his two-room apartment (which also killed his dog), the ongoing debt his divorce had brought upon him, even the way his kids looked at him whenever he had custody of them...the only thing keeping him going was his duty to the few taxi users that still existed. As one of the few taxi services still in business, he had more responsibility than ever to the commuters of the world, and he wouldn't allow his personal life to get in the way of that.

Suddenly, he noticed movement in the corner of his eye. A manicured hand, waving for his attention! Mustering all the driving prowess he possessed, Eric swerved past the wall of vehicles barring of the sidewalk, just barely managing to squeeze through and coming to a stop next to the group of teenage girls that had caught his attention. They were a rather seedy-looking bunch, with their overly made-up faces and their spray-on tans, but the taxi driver rolled down the passenger window nonetheless. Customers were customers, regardless of how suspicious they were. "So, where are you ladies hea-"

His question morphed into shocked sputtering as the closest girl suddenly whipped out a can of Super Silly String and sprayed it into the taxi, the neon-green stuff getting all over his face and uniform as she shouted "Get a real job, dumbass!" Eric rolled up the window as quickly as he could, but the damage was done; the man's outfit was coated with green goop, and the only reason he could even see was because of the now-ruined sunglasses that shielded his eyes.

The high-pitched laughter audible even through the windows of his vehicle did nothing to soothe Eric's distress, the man struggling to hold back a sob while pulling the glasses off of his visage and setting them gingerly on the passenger seat. He started attempting to pull the sticky strings strewn across his uniform (with little success), but froze as he heard one of the backseat doors open. "What, was spraying me not enough for..." The driver trailed off as he turned around in his seat and realized that the woman sitting in the backseat wasn't part of the posse outside.

For one, her skin and face were obviously natural. Not a speck of make-up to be seen, and certainly no spray tan. The bright red hue of her hair and irises stood out against the paleness of her skin quite nicely, and the masculine black suit she was wearing, despite covering most of her body, did little to hide the striking form beneath. In addition to all that, there was a strange moist-looking accessory stuck to the front of her crotch. Eric felt like he had seen something like it before, but he couldn't quite place where...

"Whoa there, buddy! I get that you're mad, and really, you've got the right to be, but don't get mad at me, yeah? I ain't done nothin'." The woman turned her gaze away from the man in the front seat for a moment before continuing. "Well, not to you, anyway." It was at that point that Eric realized that the laughing had stopped.

Gulping involuntarily, he turned away from his new passenger and tried as hard as he could to divert his focus away from the violent psychopath sitting in his backseat and back onto the road. "Erm, so, Miss...where are you headed?" "Just Akane's fine. No need for the 'Miss' stuff." She reclined in her chair as she spoke, the large mass hanging between her thighs shaking about dangerously while she adjusted her position. "But anyway, I'm headed for the Channel 17 News Station. Know where that is?" Eric nodded his affirmation and cleared his throat. "That's not too far away from here, Mi-...Akane. You sure you don't want to save yourself the money and just walk there?"

"Y'know, that's exactly what I'd do under normal circumstances, but today I'm really just not feeling it. Must be the Mocha Mix I had this morning." The driver instinctively slammed his foot on the brakes, despite the fact that the car wasn't even in motion yet. "...Surely you're not talking about the Mega Mocha Mix from Cal's Creamy Coffee (and Tea)?" His tone had shifted drastically from the statement before. Gone was his shock at being covered in sticky goo. Gone was his worry about Akane knifing him if he didn't arrive at the destination quickly enough. All that was left were thoughts of how loaded his passenger must be if she's able to talk about drinking such an expensive item so casually.

Akane gave a grin at Eric's question. If she noticed the sudden change in his attitude, she didn't show it. "Yep, that's the one. Never had it before today, but damn, was it awesome! Maybe I'll get another one later..." 'By God, it looks like I've finally hit the jackpot!' Eric mouthed a silent Thank You to the sky before finally placing his foot upon the gas pedal and setting the vehicle into motion.

He wasn't kidding when he mentioned how close the station was; it took them barely a few minutes to arrive there, even with the relatively crowded traffic conditions. As Eric pulled up to the curb and brought the taxi to a gradual halt, he couldn't help but stare at the wet object Akane's zipper seemed to be sporting. Something about it (other than its obviously suspicious positioning) felt off to the taxi driver. "Thanks for the ride. You got a card or something so I can call you up if I ever need another taxi?" Akane's words pulled Eric's mind away from his thoughts and into the real world. "Huh? Oh, uh...yeah." Eric reached into one of the pockets sewn into the inside of his uniform and pulled out a business card. "Here you go."

As he tossed the card into the backseat, his passenger reciprocated with a wad of cash. "Dunno how much this ride cost, but that should probably cover it." Even at a glance, Eric could tell that every slip contained within the stack of money was a $100 bill. It took him a moment to realize that he should probably thank the woman for her generosity, but by the time he turned around to do so, she was already gone.

A gust of air flew from his lungs as he shifted back into a forward-facing position. His eyes flicked down towards the pile of bills on his lap, then towards the pet store down the street. "...Guess I've got to start somewhere."

---

A sigh escaped Ms. Redwood as she fell ass-first onto her recliner, the bag of chips in her hand nearly sending its contents flying everywhere but somehow managing to keep everything contained.

The doctor had recently fallen upon some hard times. Initially, her discovery of the Pink Uworaller had lent her a massive burst of fame, her name becoming known nationwide in almost a day...and yet, that fame quickly turned for the worse. Rumors surfaced that she'd faked her findings (from where, she still had no idea), and, perhaps due to her overall smarmy attitude in the several interviews she'd appeared in, people seemed quite inclined to believe them. Thus, while the popularity of the Pink Uworaller soared to the heavens, hers plummeted to the depths of oblivion.

Perhaps that was a melodramatic comparison, but it was an apt one nonetheless.

Ms. Redwood couldn't help but sigh again as she stashed the open bag at her side, making sure it was in a position where it wouldn't move around before cracking open a can of beer that had been sitting on her side table long enough to become lukewarm.'Room-temperature beer? Is this what I've been reduced to?' She wondered idly as her free hand grasped for the remote, the instrument buried somewhere beneath the pile of papers that made up her once-tidy floor. 'Room-temperature beer and searching on the floor for a remote? How far I've fallen.'

Finding the remote took far longer than it should have (as it tends to do), but the lady eventually managed to feel out its shape, at which point she immediately pulled it out of its paper coffin and tapped the power button situated at its tip.

The TV turned on with a flash, picture gradually fading onto the aged screen. It was an old model, but Ms. Redwood had it for as long as she could remember...and it wasn't like she could afford a new one at the moment anyway. The image on screen showed an attractive newscaster, her mouth moving rapidly as she delivered some likely-irrelevant news story. Her television's audio had an even slower startup than its video, so the doctor would have to wait a bit before she could find out just how unimportant it was, but she wasn't exactly planning on losing any sleep over that. Once the sound did finally start up, however, Ms. Redwood heard something that she'd been hoping to hear for a long time now...

"Our guest today is Dr. Mary Redwood, an expert on Pink Uworallers!"

She nearly choked on the handful of chips she'd just barely shoved into her mouth, her eyes flying to the screen. The woman who'd just been referred to by Ms. Redwood's own name had a confident look on her face, though she was also sweating a fair bit. She was fairly tall and slender, dressed in a fairly masculine suit, and...wearing a Pink Uworaller at her crotch? Eyes widening in a mix of shock and intrigue, Ms. Redwood couldn't help but stare at the sight before her. Someone was masquerading as her on the local news, and that person had a Pink Uworaller in their possession; either would've been enough to get her attention, but both together? That was enough to gain her desperation.

The imposter's lips moved as she said something to her companion, her discomfort obviously increasing from the way her features scrunched slightly, but all Dr. Redwood heard was silence; her mind was preoccupied with the considering the possibilities that could result from this situation. If she could manage to track down this fake Redwood, she would not only have immediate leverage over the girl, but she'd also finally have a subject to do experiments on, and really, that alone was worth the lengths she'd likely have to go to track down a woman like this.

Several minutes of meaningless talking (at least, that was what Dr. Redwood assumed it to be) occurred before they finally arrived at the moment Mary had been waiting for since her fake had first appeared on the screen: the Uworaller examination. Since she brought an Uworaller with her in the first place, it was quite obvious that she had been planning to show it off, but she still seemed fairly reluctant to place her Pink Uworaller upon the newscaster's table. 'Could that be her conscience getting to her? She doesn't seem particularly guilty...perhaps she's simply shy about presenting someone else's discovery as her own. MY discovery.' Redwood found herself smirking as she realized that, while people are likely to recognize the imposter as not being the true Dr. Redwood, going on TV and allowing them to examine her Pink Uworaller goes leaps and bounds towards proving that the creatures aren't a fiction.

Ms. Redwood's hearing faded back right on time, allowing her to hear the audible smack that emitted from her television as her imposter finally worked up the courage required to put her personal Uworaller on display and slammed it onto the table. The Pink Uworaller seemed to be a fairly delicate creature, if the fragile skin on the one Mary had the chance to study was any indication, so such rough treatment was rather worrying, but it wasn't like the good Doctor had the ability to tell the suited woman on her screen to be more gentle with it. She seemed quite guilty about her treatment of the Uworaller anyways, if her pained expression was any indication.

The newscaster looked offscreen for a brief moment, likely giving some stagehands waiting nearby an unspoken signal, before returning her gaze to the camera, smiling wide to show off her pearly whites as she spoke up yet again. Unlike every statement she'd made after her initial one, however, Ms. Redwood was actually listening this time. "As a reminder, this is the first documented live study of a Pink Uworaller, so make sure to stay tuned!" As soon as she finished speaking, the channel went to commercial. Of course.

By the time Mary exited the bathroom, she could hear the starting jingle Channel 17 News always played whenever it was back from commercials. 'Take that, corporate shills.' The doctor thought to herself with a victorious smirk as she reseated herself onto her comfortable chair, turning up the volume a bit so that she could be sure she wasn't missing a thing. The scene that greeted her was quite a bit different from the one she'd left after: the Pink Uworaller's mouth had been spread wide by some manner of metallic cube, the studio lights bright enough to leave the pink insides of the animal quite easily visible. The walls of its insides had an almost ridged pattern to them, something Dr. Redwood hadn't expected from the relatively smooth outside of the creature. A pool had also formed on the tabletop directly in front of the Uworaller, the fluid appearing to have come from within it, though it was difficult to say exactly where.

Something else surprising about the test subject was the off-white, egg-shaped orb sitting around it's middle, some manner of loose pink tube attached to it. Could that be how the Uworallers reproduced? Ms. Redwood couldn't help but compare the overall appearance of the thing to female ovaries. Perhaps their reproductive systems were similar to those of a human, despite their body structure being so different. There was also a hole, gaping fairly wide, towards the back of the creature, likely leading to some manner of digestive tract. So many questions were being answered in such a short span of time...Mary had truly hit the jackpot today.

"So, Dr. Redwood, before we begin, we here at Channel 17 News would like to thank you for volunteering your personal test subject for educational purposes; these Pink Uworallers seem to be incredibly rare, so your willingness to come on our show and put yours on display is simply amazing. You even supplied us with the items you would need to give a proper examination! Thank you again." The compliments flowed from the newscaster like a river, the speech quite obviously rehearsed from her slightly robotic intonation. That didn't stop Redwood's imposter from blushing heavily, though. Seems the girl is quite weak to getting praised so thoroughly...though her face was already quite red before she was hailed as an angel from above. "Ah, uh...no problem. Glad to get the chance to show all the good people out there something they've never seen before." Her statement is punctuated by a confident smile, yet her blush remains just as heavy. The average viewer would likely assume it to be simple stage fright, but Mary knew better. The fake's guilt must've finally been getting to her.

The newscaster wasted no further time before pulling the large black pack that had been sitting just far enough to be in frame closer to herself, starting to rustle through the bag with eyes as curious as a child's. Her uncomprehending gaze meant that she likely had no idea what most of the things contained within the sack were, but that didn't stop her from pulling out one in particular. "Dr. Redwood, would you mind explaining what this is?" A vial of thick, sticky-looking fluid was delicately clutched between the newscaster's fingers as she asked her question. It looked vaguely like...old sperm? 'Then again, it could also be a stale egg beaten into a liquid...why does it have to be sperm?' Mary knew quite well how far she was stretching, but a vial of sperm wasn't exactly the best device for showing off a Pink Uworaller.

Unless...could it be from a male Uworaller? Could it even be possible that the red-haired, red-eyed girl upon the screen was in possession of multiple Pink Uworallers? Ms. Redwood could scarcely stop herself from screaming her victory out loud, so powerful was the rush of positive emotions that filled her. Still, her satisfaction over the turn her night had taken could wait until later; the imposter seemed to be preparing to say her piece. "...Seems pretty obvious to me." She remarked, reaching up and brushing a bead of sweat off of her forehead as the newscaster looked temporarily lost for words. "You mean...?" "Yep." "...Oh. Well, what are we supposed to do with it?"

The redhead didn't respond to that question, instead electing to stare off into the distance and sigh. The armchair doctor almost wished she could jump through the screen and slap that clueless newscaster silly. "She obviously intends to demonstrate Uworaller reproduction, you imbecile!" Mary found herself shouting out loud, her voice far louder than she'd intended it to be (which was silent). It almost seemed as if the woman heard her, however, as a lightbulb visibly went off in her head, her face suddenly shining with understanding.

Ms. Redwood's imposter's eyes closed, her mouth opening just long enough to emit a sigh, right as the newscaster popped the cork off the top of the vial and carefully poured its contents directly onto the egg-shaped organ lying on the Uworaller's inner floor. The camera zoomed in on the display, showing the sperm-like fluid submerging the egg for a few moments before said egg vanished from the frame entirely, alongside the rest of the Pink Uworaller it belonged to; as the camera zoomed out to show more of the newscaster's area, it became quite apparent that even the fake that had brought it was gone, the only trace of her and her pet's existence being the pool of liquid it had left on the table.

Mary immediately found herself struggling to rationalize what she'd just witnessed. Perhaps Pink Uworallers could teleport things other than themselves as well? There didn't really seem to be any other viable explanation, aside from that redheaded imposter being connected to the Uworaller somehow; although, for some reason, that sounded even less likely to the doctor.

Then again, did it really matter? Now that the program was over, Ms. Redwood could begin her search for the person she'd just witnessed flaunting her own personal Uworaller like it was a limited collector's edition DVD set that she'd just bought the last existing copy of. Having almost no leads meant she had quite a tough start ahead of her, but all she needed was a single string to grasp at...

To be continued!