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Aoi Hikari
2017/09/22
(Fri)
15:35:22
No.
11191
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Okay, I guess that warehouse story deserves some logical conclusion at least for that last scene. So here it goes:
...
Rei’s wild agony seemed to have no end, but Shinji was determined to see every moment of it, never averting his gaze. Tears were flowing from her painfully rolled eyes and drool dripping from her uncontrolled half-opened mouth. But even as her face got all red and distorted, Shinji was not turned away, for it was a proof of her excruciating pain, and as such inherently beautiful. The more she suffered, the more fascinating it was to realize that she went for it with a total ease of mind. Shinji knew he could never have a courage to willingly sacrifice himself, even if it was for the sake of saving humanity, so he had always admired Rei who could do so. But now he could see that for her it was beyond the petty concepts of courage and cowardice. Rei was just so much above earthly concerns that no amount of physical pain could possibly bother her. She was truly an angel, that metaphor even more highlighted by her current state elevated above the ground and suspended in the air. And it was only natural that an angel’s suffering deserved no pity. For it deserved nothing less than worship.
Time passed slowly for Rei, as each second brought an hour worth of pain, but all she could do was wait for when it ends along with her own life. Patience was always among Rei’s strong suites though, so wait she did. If anything, it was comforting to know she couldn’t do anything to fight the torture anyway, for as long as Rei was in no position to make difference, whatever happened could only be considered a natural course of events. And so Rei calmly waited, all the while wildly thrashing in agony. Created to fight the Angels, Rei’s body was much tougher than its fragile look, and it took a good dozen of very long minutes for air deprivation to draw every bit of strength from Rei’s body. Her erratic jerking gradually became weaker and rarer until first her arms and then her legs too became limp once more. Rei’s consciousness was fading like if she was falling into a sleep, and all of her feelings were disappearing one by one, making the remaining ones more and more defining. In the end only two feelings were left for Rei. One was the pain that filled all of her existence. And the other was gratitude that was even greater, as it was overflowing. But then even these two merged together, becoming inseparable, as both were caused by Ikari-kun hanging her. Rei focused on this fused feeling of blissfully excruciating gratitude, as it filled both herself and her whole world, remaining the only thing in the universe and hence the universe itself. She relished it as her own existence melted into this unitary universe of grateful agony, until she was finally one with the world to the point where there was no her in the first place. And that was how Rei have died in that warehouse for the second time.
_____
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