>>11196

This must be telepathy herr doktor, just today I felt compeled to check the old Guro chan.

Here is what you were missing, Here is Part 1

---

---

398 Name: WitchDoctor : 2009-03-07 20:58 [Del] One-shot: Death from Above, Part 1

On a Friday evening, about a year ago, I went out into the field just outside my house. I live in the country, and there is a huge patch of land just past my house that goes on for miles. It is a large, empty space with nothing but tall grass in it. In the middle of the field is a 200 foot strip of paved concrete, part of an abandoned road. It is a perfect location for my pastime.

My hobby is designing, building, and piloting model airplanes. In fact, you could say it’s my career rather than my pasttime. There’s very little difference between what I do for my paycheck and what I do for fun. The only difference I can think of off the top of my head is that at work, I design airframes that could either be the next space shuttle or the next F/A-18 Super Hornet.

I remember my first R/C plane. I was twelve at the time. It was a simple battery-powered prop plane that I christened BlueBell. I lived in the suburbs of Houston then, and I would crash Bluebell into my neighbor’s backyards a lot, which meant I would have to go get it. I got to know the neighbors in my home town really well because of old Bluebell!

Now, about 20 years later, I have about twenty or so planes in my little airport. Most of them are just off-the-shelf, electrical prop airplanes. Two of them are model helicopters. One of them is a model glider, basically a radio-controlled rigid-winged kite. But some of them are unique, built by the fruits of my labors.

One of them is a 1/23 scale replica B-17 bomber. It’s just like the one my grandfather flew in the war. I named it Annabelle after his plane. I even went as far as to look for photographs of the plane in question to find out how she was painted. I gave the model the exact paintjob as the original plane. It turned out really well. Now all I’m missing are a few Messerschmitts, a few Spitfires, a few AA guns, and more people to operate them, and I would have my own WWII air battle.

Then, there is the pride and joy of my collection. I paid, in all, about $233,000 dollars for her, including costs to clear the airspace around my country home, a license to fly her, and just building the damned thing. I christened her Stargazer. She’s a beauty. I designed and built every part of her, from the frame to the computer that stabilizes her in flight to even the software that the computer uses. She’s a two engine model jet aircraft. I mean an actual jet aircraft, not one of those ducted fan jets you can get for a relatively low cost at a hobby store. I paid about $2,000 per engine, the best two grand I have ever spent. The best way I can find to describe her is that she looks like a compact version of an F-22 Raptor. She has a wing span of about four feet, and is about the same measurement from the tip of her nose cone to the end of her tail. Her top speed is 221 MPH, and thrust vectoring makes her a force to be reckoned with. She’s a beauty, and is simply a joy to fly, thanks to the stabilization software, the gauges that let me track fuel consumption and structural integrity, and the fact that she is an air-superiority fighter in miniature.

On the weekends, every now and then, I’d take her out of the garage, place her on the tarmac, and send her into the sky. The neighbors would gather around and “ooh” and “aah” at my beloved aircraft as I did flybys and aerobatic stunts. She sounds like the real deal during flybys. She looks like the real thing too, which is why I keep a radio nearby to listen for incoming military aircraft. The last thing I need is to have Stargazer taken out by Sidewinder missile.

The most fun I’ve had with my model planes is by attaching a small panoramic camera and about 16 gigabytes of Flash memory I mounted where the cockpit would be. I could get a wide angle of the countryside from an altitude of 300 feet with any of the other planes or get a fast-paced, white knuckle video as I pulled hard-G’s with Stargazer. Occasionally, I will upload a video of a particularly awesome flight on Youtube. The last video I posted, which shows me strafing a turkey vulture several hundred feet off the ground with the glider, garnered about 10,000 views and three 5-star ratings!

Sadly, I had been flying my planes less often since May. That’s around the time “the new neighbors” moved into our neighborhood. They aren’t really our neighbors, though. They don’t own any property in the block, or have a stable place of residence. Whenever they came to visit, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave and they have the nerve to order you around like they own the place. All they seem to be good for is taking your food, defecating on your floor just after you clean, and spawn more of their kind. They look like little dolls in green dresses and with crude green shoes. They have mismatched red-green eyes and harelips. They are bald other than two patches of long hair on the back of their heads and one patch of hair on the front. Often times, you see them without their tacky dresses or even sometimes without their hair. They have these strange ears that make them resemble some kind of goblin or troll. Only recently did I find out that they’re called Jissouseki. They’re some strange little monster from Japan.

I don’t mean to sound racist, but why did I expect them to do something like this?

The first time I saw a Jissouseki, I was on my way to work. I had just left my house and was on the way to my car when I heard a few strange noises. It was a small group of these Jissouseki raiding my neighbor’s tomato garden. The biggest one was gorging herself on her ill-gotten gain, with the smaller ones feeding small scraps of the juicy flesh and seeds to a cluster of strange grub-like creatures with faces like theirs. The little grubs kept chirping “rehu!” to get their caretaker’s attention. I didn’t look at them for very long, or else I would have been late for work. I got into my car and drove away. Little did I know that I would see more of them later…

The biggest hindrance to me that the Jissouseki have caused is the fact that they made a small cardboard shanty town next to the runway, and they crossed the runway quite often to get to the tall grass on the other side. Every day I would look out at the strip of abandoned road, I would always see at least one of the creatures dawdling about on the road, almost ensuring that I would collide with it if I tried to fly anything with more value than a glider made out of folder printer paper. If that were true, then I might as well read a book about aerodynamics in the exosphere, like I have to do at work.

That day, however, it looked clear. From the time I got home from work, at 4:00, to 4:45, I did not see a single one of the little green trolls cross the runway. After wondering which one I aircraft I would fly, I selected Stargazer. I wanted to fly her on that day. I need my jet fix every so often!

That afternoon, around 5:00, I opened up the TUFF-shed right by my house and rolled the little jet out from her small hangar in a shelf. I removed the intake covers and filled her fuel tanks with jet fuel specifically made for her.

Another thing that makes Stargazer unique is that she is made to run on green fuel. I can readily make fuel for her. No, I don’t have an oil refinery in my backyard! I make the fuel in a greenhouse-like extension I built into the shed. In there, I process and ferment sugars extracted from green algae. Neat, huh? I actually get better performance from this fuel than with the equivalent made from petroleum, it burns cleaner, and I can make it myself for free! I don’t understand why we haven’t been using more of this stuff! We could have weaned ourselves off of oil a long time ago!

Anyway, I took her out to the strip of abandoned road and do a few preps before she would fly. A rudder, aileron, and trim check came out perfectly. She needed little calibration despite being in storage for about three weeks. The final test I needed to run was an engine check. If the engines had somehow collected dust or dead bugs, her engines may fail in mid-flight. I didn’t want that happening for obvious reasons. I slowly pressed forward on the throttle controls for the engines. Gradually, her engines rumbled then roared then screamed into life. I was standing off to the left of the plane; being right behind her would mean that I would get a face full of hot exhaust fumes and would probably go deaf from the noise. Just then, the left engine coughed, spitting black smoke out the exhaust vent. I heard the engine wind down shortly afterward. I pulled back on the throttle controls, cleared the intake with an air duster can, then started the engine up again. This time, I saw the two engines’ exhaust ports glow red from the superheated gases flowing from them. When the two engines were at a steady whine, I taxied the plane into position.

Just when I was going to see my favorite plane take to the skies again, I heard small, high pitched voices and squeaks coming from just off to the side of my left shoe.

“Too loud rehu.”

“Mama, I can’t hear rechi…”

I looked over to see a collection of those creatures at my feet. The biggest one was looking up at me, almost waiting for me to cast my gaze upon her. Her two small, plump children were watching over three of the grubs. They are even uglier up close than the ones in my neighbor’s tomato garden earlier.

“Hello, Mr. Man desu.” The bigger one said, bringing her stubby arm to her dimple her cheek, obviously an attempt to look cute.

I impatiently replied, “Do you mind clearing the runway? I’m in the middle of something.” Seriously, it had been three weeks since I flew anything. I needed my fix.

I could barely hear her reply over the scream of the jet engines. “Take me home desu!”

I waved my hand dismissively. I didn’t have time to deal with those creatures. “I don’t have time to entertain you. Go away.”

She grabbed my pant leg and started trying to shake me. “TAKE US HOME DESU! WE ARE GOOD JISSOU AND WE DON’T EAT MUCH DESU!”

Irritated, I lowered the power to the Stargazer’s engines. The scream of the engines fell to a dull roar.

I fixed my gaze on the one who yelled at me, the big fat one. “What is so important that I have to interrupt my flight for you?”

She said calmly, “Take us home desu.”

I looked at the smaller ones. The more humanoid ones were imitating the larger Jissouseki’s display from earlier. The grubs were just crawling around, oblivious to the drama unfolding around them. While two of the grubs rolled over on their backs and make strange noises, one curiously crawled over to investigate my shoes.

“Punihu.”

“Punipuni.”

“Techu~n?”

“Dark thing funny taste rehu.”

“Mr. Man is tall techu.”

“Are my children cute desu?”

Looking away from them, I asked “Do you want an honest answer?”

“Yes, desu!”

I replied to their display with an honest answer, even if they didn’t like it. “No. You all are uglier than an old goat’s ass. Now go away, I’m trying to do something imp-.”

“MR. MAN IS MEAN DESU!” She screamed as she stomped my shoe. “MY CHILDREN ARE CUTE DESU! YOU ARE MEAN MR. MAN DESUUUUUUUU!”

Tired of her theatrics, I knocked her away with a slight kick. Not enough to hurt her, just enough to separate us by another foot. That’s when I realized that Stargazer ‘s engine noise, plus the mother’s screaming, had attracted the attention of a large group of Jissouseki from the cardboard shanty.

“What that noise techi?”

“A Mr. Man is here desu!”

“Maybe he will take us home desu!”

“He won’t take someone as ugly as you desu. He will pick someone pretty like me desu.”

“I NOT UGLY DESU! YOU TAKE BACK DESU!”

“Come on Maggot-chan, maybe Mr. Man give us food techi.”

“Carry rehu-.”

“What is big white thing techi?”

“Is loud rechi…”

It looked like my flight was cancelled. When you are flying a plane that can travel at about 200 MPH, you cannot afford to have any sort of distraction. In this case, it’s better to err on the side of caution, because the stakes could be a really expensive plane, a really high medical bill, or funeral expenses.

More and more of the little monsters poured in from the shanty town. While there were a few teddy bear sized adults in the group, most of them were children and the strange grub-like things. Several of them had actually climbed on top of Stargazer in an attempt to get my attention. Just for a little prank, I suddenly pressed forward on the throttle controls.

Let the casualties begin.

Behind the exhaust for the two main engines, a child and a grub were standing around, chirping for my attention. When I pressed the throttle forward suddenly, they were caught right in the middle of a plume of searing hot flames. Their hair and clothing were burnt right off their bodies by superheated gases. The two were not hurt otherwise, but embarrassed to be sure.

“Where clothes rehu-?”

“I’m naked techuu?”

Stargazer’s sudden lurch forward knocked the children and grubs that were on top of the plane off onto the ground. None were severely injured, but they were all confused by the sudden movement. One second, you’re looking at Mr. Man in the eye on top of some kind of object. The next, you’re looking at his shoe from the pavement.

“Why move rehu-?”

“Too loud rehu-.”

“B-b-big thing just moved rechi… Scary rechi…”

“Ow! That hurt techi!”

I evened out the throttle to prevent the plane from rocketing forward too quickly. If you take off too fast, it doesn’t look as cool. I had an audience to impress. Part of showmanship with model airplanes is handling the model like you would the real thing.

Stargazer is capable of taking off in less than 20 feet, but it looks a lot more graceful when you use about 100-180 feet. Aside from conserving precious fuel, it adds to the suspense of an observer. It makes you lean forward in your seat and start rooting for the small aircraft. It looks built to take to the skies, and it makes observers hope, sometimes even pray, that it will fulfill its purpose. “Will it fly? Come on, fly. Come on… Come on… YES!” And then, to make their jaws go slack, let her loose and show that your jet’s actually a nimble acrobat in the sky. Give them their own private air show. Feel free to do all sorts of tricks, like somersaults, barrel rolls, loop-de-loops, and flybys. If you really have skill, send your plane into a tailspin, a stall, or a nosedive, and recover to rocket into the air mere feet, or sometimes mere inches, from inevitable collision with the ground. If it helps, imagine that you are locked in a dogfight with an invisible opponent. Leave the observers in amazement. When you bring your plane back onto the ground, make the entry and landing as smooth as possible. Don’t just land the plane; anybody can land a plane. It takes real skill to gently guide her in, and touch her down so that she slowly and carefully rolls to a stop. That will earn you a huge round of applause when you bring her in for landing!

Anyway, back to what happened.

Stargazer’s sudden jerk forward made the Jissouseki back away from the now threatening aircraft, clearing the runway and silencing the crowd. I guess I would be able to fly my plane after all. I taxied the plane into position again, as the sudden jerk forward sent her slightly off center of the runway. I slowly increased the throttle, and she slowly moved forward. The Jissouseki became transfixed on the amazing flying machine. Gradually, bit by bit, she increased her speed until, finally at around 150 feet, take off! Once she was about 15 feet off the ground, I let her loose. She took off like a shot, leaving in a puff of flame.

While some of the Jissouseki began begging for attention as soon as Stargazer was out of sight, others remained in awe of the little jet as it darted into the distance. They saw the small white plane turn into a dark shape in the sky, and gradually turn back to white as I turned it around.

“Give punipuni rehu-.”

“Take me home desu. My children and I don’t eat much desu.”

“…”

“… Uwaa…”

“It like a bird techi…”

“It’s coming back desu…”

To impress the ones in my inhuman audience and to shut the others up, I didn’t bring her right back to me. Instead, I flew her until she was parallel to me, the distance between us about 100 feet, then brought her back for a flyby.

When you’re doing a flyby, try not to do it too close to the observer. You want to impress them, not intimidate them. Try to keep the plane about 50 or so feet way at all times, or about 100 if you have a jet. This is because you need to be careful in case of Murphy’s Law suddenly taking affect. A model jet at full throttle with erratic or non-responsive controls is basically an unpredictable missile. You don’t want to get anybody in the way of that thing unless you enjoy talking to lawyers.

Stargazer screamed past at breakneck speed. A few were not ready for the loud roar of an air breathing jet engine and fainted. Several of the grubs froze, then lay still. They lay in a puddle of their own filth, their eyes dull and lifeless. I literally scared them to the point that their tiny hearts stopped beating. Knowing I couldn’t do anything to save them, I kept my focus on Stargazer. The decision boiled down to a choice between a world with a few less of those grub-like things or a wrecked model jet. Guess which one I chose.

What made me slightly sick were the slurping and crunching sounds that I heard not long after the flyby. I soon learned the nature of the noises from one of the children’s outbursts.

“Mama, why did you eat Maggot-chan techi!”

“Maggot-chan was weak baby, so I eat desu! Only the strong survive desu!”

In that moment, I learned what those things were. The grubs were the babies of these doll-like things, like a larval form. That could only mean…

I turned back to the crowd, and nearly lost my lunch. One of the mothers and at least three of the children held a partially eaten baby in their hands, with green and red smears around their mouths.

They’re cannibals. They’re filthy, they’re brutish, and they’re cannibals?! I felt any compassion I had for the little monsters evaporate. I wanted to show them my contempt, but I had a job to do. No matter how amazing Stargazer is, it cannot fly itself. I fought my feelings of nausea and anger and concentrated on flying the jet. I would not attempt another fly-by though.

After 15 minutes of stunt flying, I put Stargazer in a holding pattern while I cleared the runway for landing. I stepped back and most of the Jissouseki that had congregated around me followed. There were a few stragglers, such as a larva whose sister had left it behind in the rush to follow Mr. Man.

“Onee-chan, wait for me rehu! Leave me not rehu!”

After clearing the runway, I brought the jet in for a landing attempt. I pushed back on the throttle and gently, ever so gently, brought my plane to a safe and gentle landing. She bounced once, thanks to the wings still generating lift when she touched down. Aside from that, she landed successfully, slowly and gracefully rolling to a stop.

Thankfully, nobody died of fright when they saw the plane up close. In fact, a few appeared inspired by its design, as if they too wanted to take to the air after Stargazer’s example. To be free to fly with the birds; what a dream that would be for a groundbound creature. After my plane had slowly rolled to a halt, I cut the power to its jets. With the winding down of the powerful engines, the efforts to get my attention came back with a vengeance.

“Please take home techi!”

“I be good pet to Mr.Man rechi!”

“Please take Maggot-chan techi! He likes bellyrubs and candy techi! Please take care of him techi!”

“I and my babies will make good pets desu!”

“Punipuni”

“Rehu-“

“Stomach punipuni rub rehu-.”

They would not relent. If I tried to walk away, they would follow me. I had to something to draw their attention away from me, my house, and my planes. After racking my brain for a solution, I finally got an idea. They wanted to be pets, right? Well, I don’t have room for pets. I could tell from my brief observations that they probably were not all that smart.

Finally, after about five minutes of putting up with their cries for attention, I answered the small crowd.

“Do you all want to be my pets?”

The pleas for my recognition changed to a unanimous cheer.

“Yes desu! We’ll be good pets desu!”

“I want to be Master’s pet desu!”

“A cool house techi! I want to live in Mr. Man’s nice comfortable house techi!”

“Please give punipuni rehu.”

I silenced the crowd with a wave of my hands.

“I don’t want or have room for pets. However, I am a man who takes chances, so I’m willing to make a bet with all of you. If you cannot meet my demands, then none of you will be my pets.”

One nervous child piped up. “And if we do meet your demands, techi?”

I replied, “Then I will let all of you and your children live in my house for life.”

The group broke out into mass rejoicing again.

“Yay! We get to live in a nice house techi!”

“I get all the candy I want desu!”

“Mr. Man, please give punipuni rehu.”

I called for silence yet again. Now to give out what I wanted them to do.

“I want all of you to design, build, fly, and safely land an airplane that looks like this,” I said as I took a piece of chalk and drew the outline of a regular prop monoplane on the concrete. I gave them a brief explanation of pitch, roll, yaw, drag, thrust, lift, and even drew the outline of a cross-section of a plane’s wing.

“Again, I stress that it must be able to take off, fly, and land safely. I will not help you other than provide you with fuel; you must build it from anything you find in the area around your homes. Whoever designs, builds, flies, and successfully lands the winning vessel will become my favorite pet! You have until the end of the weekend to finish this plane, starting… now!”

With that, the group dispersed, diving into the tall grass to begin their grand scavenger hunt for parts. It was like the rush when the Ansari X Prize was announced; the whole area around me was largely deserted. With only three grubs left still begging for “punipuni” (whatever that means), I was able to pack up my jet and walked back to the TUFF-Shed, reinserted the intake covers of my plane, and put her back in her specially made locker. I built the locker for it as a further precaution to make sure that dust and insects would not enter into the engine while the jet was in storage. After making sure nobody had followed me into my “hangar,” I quietly closed and locked the shed. It’s safe to store stuff out here because it seems to stay at a consistent 75° Fahrenheit, which is not too hot or not too cold for storing fuel and planes made from non-durable materials, such as cardboard or Styrofoam. In addition, cats, dogs, birds, rats, and other animals would not be able to get inside.

Before I went back inside my house, I turned around to see if anybody followed me to the door. Only two Jissouseki were tailing me, a child holding one of the larva. I could not let them inside, from what I’ve heard so far.

“Mr. Man, please let us be your pets techi. I and Maggot-chan won’t eat much techi.”

“Is what you’re holding an airplane?”

“What airplane rehu-? Tasty rehu?”

“No, but please help us Mr. Ma-”

“Then you have no business asking me. Come back when you make a plane.” I replied as I slammed the door in their faces. I watched from a nearby window as the child walked away from the porch not holding the grub. I thought for a second that she left it at the doorstep, but when I checked it was not there. I gave the child the benefit of the doubt for the moment. I thought the grub had just rolled off the porch, out of sight.

I spent the rest of evening and most of Saturday inside, reading a book on aerodynamics in the exosphere. Go figure. I hoped that if I spent the time inside, maybe the Jissouseki outside would forget I even lived there.