>>11296
>>11286
>>11278
Well, I can't read Spanish, but thanks for posting original content!

>>11288
Thanks again! I haven't read those in years, and I'm just glad someone saved everything.

Well, between the new content and archive, I feel like adding something to it. Let me know if you want me to continue this.

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Flying Jissou Circus~!

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So, my hobby for the last twenty-five years had been building and flying model airplanes. In fact, just outside my home in the countryside of Texas, there’s a 200 foot stretch of abandoned road that cuts through my property that I’ve repurposed as a runway for my fixed wing aircraft. However, once again, I found myself not flying my planes.

The first reason I’ve stopped is that things have changed at work. When I first moved down to Texas, our company was a smaller firm that occasionally did work on satellite communications, mostly for companies in South America and India. A year ago, Boeing called up our company to help design the embedded guidance system of a then-recently announced competitor to the Space X’s Falcon 9 series of rockets. As of now, we are reaching the final stages of prototyping the guidance computer of the eXperimental Recoverable Deep Space Launch System (RDSLS-X), which meant that I was promoted. I’m now one of the senior engineers, which means that I’m required for more hours at work than at home.

The second is due to the recent retirement of my best planes, Stargazer. Yep, that’s right, after almost seven years, I was forced to retire the plane that I’m almost famous for in the remote control plane scene. I say “forced” because of that know-nothing hipster who “wanted to get a good shot of it in the air” steered his drone right into the path of my plane before I had time to react, and of course, they collided. One moment, everything is fine; the next Stargazer’s short a wing and on fire while the drone tumbles to the ground as a mangled heap of broken plastic. And then I’m the asshole because I start yelling at the kid! Nevermind that Stargazer probably cost more than the refitted supply closet that scraggly bearded punk calls an apartment.

Anyway, that’s not the key reason for my retirement of Stargazer. Remember that part in my last post where I said “no matter how amazing Stargazer is, it can’t fly itself?” Well, sometime in 2013, I was thinking about that when I was introduced to the Raspberry Pi by an old college buddy who wouldn’t shut up about it. The accident that destroyed Stargazer was an excuse for me to do something I’ve been meaning to do for a while. As of this month, I’m putting the finishing touches on Stargazer II, a more advanced version of Stargazer that really can fly itself. I’m debugging some of the software I developed for monitoring and regulating fuel use during flight. As such, I’m spending my weekends doing ground tests and simulating certain scenarios before I debut my new plane at a local R/C plane show. And this time, my plane won’t collide with any pesky quadcopters piloted by dipshits who couldn’t figure out an R/C car they could get at a drugstore!

The third reason is them. You know who. Jissouseki. Years ago, I had my first encounter with the little shit-goblins when I was trying to fly the first generation Stargazer. I found an … interesting… method of dealing with them and the cardboard shanty town they set up near my runway. Years later, and any trace of the Jissou City is gone, reclaimed by nature along with any evidence of the model plane crash that wiped it off the face of the Earth. It has been years since I’ve seen one outside the cities. Apparently, rural Texas is too inhospitable a climate for the little bastards. However, following some wet, cool summers and mild winters, I’ve been hearing of feral populations taking up residence in rural developments like the one I live in, usually piggy-backing on the city-slickers who are moving out here in increasing numbers.

The first time I’ve seen them this year was back in April, when I was out pulling weeds on my property. As I was finishing up, I saw a few Jissou whelps and a maggot come crawling out of the grass near my front porch. One of the whelps saw me, and raised her stubby hand to her cheek as she looked at me with her mismatched button eyes.

“Am I not cute techu~n? Take me home with you techi!” Her attention-getting display alerted the other two to my presence. The smaller whelp picked up the larval Jissou and ran over to me, presenting the baby as if it were some kind of treasure.

“Take Maggot-chan techi! We not eat much and be cute for Mr. Man techi~”

The maggot, just then recognizing me as Mr. Man, lazily wagged its tail and panted happily as greenish slime tricked from its slit. It said something that its sisters taught it as its tongue lolled about in its mouth.

“Maggot-chan good Jissou refu~”

“Maggot-chan is a good Jissou techi~”

Despite my initial apprehension, I took the whelp up on its offer, gently taking the grub from her arms and standing back up. The maggot appeared elated at this new situation, closing its eyes and drooling happily while saying “punipuni” in a soft voice that betrayed its lack of intelligence. I looked back at the whelp with a false smile.

“She’s adorable… Hey, before I take you guys inside, let me ask you a question.”

“Te?”

Still locking eyes with the whelp that had handed me her little sister, I spoke in my most friendly voice. “Do you love your Maggot-chan?”

The whelp twitched her ears happily as she smiled and responded with a sing-song voice “Techun~ Techa-chan loves Maggot-chan thiiiiiiiiiiiis much techi!” She extended her tiny arms out as far out as she could, as if attempting to show me that it was more than she could ever hold.

“Well, all right then,” I said, winding my arm back and throwing the maggot straight up into the air. “... If you love her, you’ll catch her.” The whelp’s attempt at a smile faded, the color drained from her face, and her eyes widened with the realization of what I had just done. All it was able to muster was a confused “Te…?”

The whelps’ sisters screamed “TECHAAAAAA!” in a high, shrill voice as they saw their smallest sibling fly high into the air. In the few seconds it took for the maggot to reach its apex of its ascent and begin accelerating towards the ground, the Jissouseki on the ground panicked, tripping over each other as they tried to position themselves underneath their airborne sibling in order to catch it.

“M-Maggot-chan, don’t worry techi! Techa-chan got you techi!”

“Quickly techi~ We need to-- ”

“Tetere--”*splat* The maggot’s cheers at returning to earth were suddenly cut short when it hit the pavement face-first right in front of her panicking siblings, splattering its blood and internal organs onto the concrete. What remained of its once fat little body deflated like a shit-filled balloon, leaving the grub’s mismatched eyes and blood-soaked tuft of hair, which lay in a puddle of Jissou gore, as the only recognizable parts of the maggot to survive the fall.

“TECHAAAAAAAAA!” The whelps screamed in unison, their voices marked by fear and grief-stricken horror. The Jissou that presented me with the maggot was the one most affected by its sudden demise, as she just stared in shock at the maggot’s remains, tears welling up in her eyes.The other two looked at me with eyes full of hatred, veins bulging from their foreheads as they bared their teeth and screamed curses at me.

“M-Maggot-chan…?”

“Shit human cruel techi! Maggot-chan didn’t do anything to you techi!”

“Maggot-chan not even three days old yet techaaa! Shit human pay for this techaa!”

I ignored them as I walked back to my house, bag full of weeds in hand. The largest one tried to follow me, I guess in a futile attempt to avenge her dead sister. As I unlocked my door, I felt the pit-pat of tiny hands on my leg. Apparently, she thought that her punches could actually do something to me. I put a stop to her little outburst by picking the Jissou up by her hair and lifting her of the ground, and I felt the strangely satisfying sensation of her hair roots strain and become taut as I lifted her off her feet.

“Teee?! It hurts techa! Put me down techa!” She reached for her hair, but her arms were too short to manage it. She just flailed around helplessly as I dangled her in the air, all while her sister tearfully pleaded with me to show mercy.

“P-please set onee-chan down gently techi... Please no hurt onee-chan t-techaaaa…”

“What’s that? You want me to put her down? Well, since you asked me so nicely~,” I said as I flung the Jissou into the weed bag. Now, these weeds that I had been uprooting were a species of thistle of which I could not identify because I’m not a botanist, along with some thorny grass and nettle. What I did know is that they were spiny and that I needed gloves to remove them if I didn’t want to be picking splinters out of my hands for the rest of the night. The Jissou whelp had no such protection. It yelped when it landed inside the bag, a surprised yip that morphed into an anguished scream of “Te-ghiiiiiii!” as I spun the bag around like an old fashioned salad spinner. Her other sister screamed in horror, the smaller whelp transitioned from stunned, horrified silence to heart-felt bawling as she kneeled next to the remains of the crushed maggot, crying into her paws.

“Onee-chaaaaaan--!”

“Maggot-chaaaaaaaaaan!”

When the cries from the bag stopped, I reached into the bag and pulled out the Jissou by her hair. Her body was covered in deep scratches, puncture wounds, and rapidly developing rashes. Her left eye had swollen shut, her partially deflated right eye was leaking a mixture of blood, tears, and green ocular fluid, and her breathing had become ragged and shallow. As expected, she had soiled herself, filling her panties with thick green slime that mixed with the blood leaking from her wounds. With a flick of my wrist, I sent the child Jissou to the concrete, to the dismay of her remaining sisters. Her pained moaning became a harsh, shrill shriek of agony that was suddenly cut short with the sound of her tiny bones breaking as she landed on the concrete. The smallest whelp seemed oblivious to the carnage happening right in front of her, ignoring her the plight of her fallen elder sister as she scooped up the juicy remains of the maggot in her arms and weeped into them bitterly, hugging them tightly and staining her white bib red and green with blood, feces, and few fluids I didn’t recognize.

The other sister ran over to the shattered body of her eldest sister with tears streaming down her face. It was clear that she wanted to ask something like “Are you alright?”, but after looking down at her sister’s shattered legs, which had been bent all the wrong way by her fall, and her grievous injuries elsewhere on her tiny body, the answer to that question was self-evident. The fallen Jissou did not respond to its sister’s attempts to comfort it, chest heaving as it screamed in agony.

“Owie! Owie owie owie owie! My legs hurtieeee techaaaaa-aa-aa! Mama! Mamaa-aaa-aaa-aaa!”

And with that, I left them: with one Jissou whelp broken and dying on the pavement, another too caught up in trying to comfort her fallen sister in her final moments, and the other too grief-stricken over her crushed sibling to respond with anything other than despondent sobbing. Needless to say, they didn’t follow me as I went inside. What’s wrong guys?, I almost said out loud. Are you afraid of what I’ll do to you when you’re inside? Instead, I marked my departure by slamming the door in their faces.

Anyway, later that night, as I prepared dinner, I had a spark of inspiration. In its final moments, from the beginning of its fall to the moment right before it splattered on the ground, the Jissou maggot probably thought it was flying. Now, the question became what would happen if one of the maggots actually could fly. A strange thought, I know. But then I started asking myself more questions. How much does a Jissou maggot weigh? Like, twenty grams, tops? Surely it wouldn’t be that difficult to find a small remote control aircraft that could lift that much. Hell, I had a small airforce’s worth of model planes just sitting in storage, surely one of them ought to be up to the task. All I’d need to do is find a Jissou maggot to find out what could lift one, and after what I had just done to one little Jissou family, I was not likely to find many more that would be willing to entertain my desire to take one of their youngest, most vulnerable children.

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It turned out that I would get what I needed soon enough. It was Sunday morning, and any sign of the events of the previous night were almost gone. The Jissouseki whelps were long gone, a trail of dried blood and feces trailing from where the fallen Jissou lay off into the grass. The maggot’s landing was marked with greenish crust that had all but dried out, and any evidence that either had died there would be blown away by the wind or washed away with the rain.

Inside, I was going about my morning routine when I heard a slight tapping at my front door. As I have a working doorbell, I found this strange, but between my sighting of the Jissouseki yesterday and the knock being far too weak to be human, I was able to put the two together. The Jissouseki were back in the neighborhood, and one of them had just left me a “present.”

After a few minutes (I didn’t want the mother thinking I was overly anxious to take her and her shit-spawn), I opened the front door to find what I had expected. Just over the threshold was a blackened banana peel and a dried-out orange rind. Nibbling contentedly on the rotten fruit skins was a single larval Jissouseki, wagging its tail happily as it tore away tiny chunks of putrid plant matter with its still developing teeth.

“Mnnumnumnum… yummy refu~ Happy refu~”

I knew that Jissouseki were known to abandon their babies on random door steps, often for different reasons. Some are basically trying to bait the occupant into accepting their baby, who will grow and later let the mother and the rest of her family inside. Others were genuinely doing this to give their grubs the chance of a better life. The reasons why this mother abandoned her baby at my door were irrelevant. What mattered was that I had what I needed for my little project, without having to fight one of the whelps for it.

I gently picked up the maggot, which was happily mashing up what it had scraped from the banana peel with its palate. It expressed surprise at being disturbed, desperately wiggling its legs and wagging its tongue about as it tried to get back to its meal. It started crying as I walked back inside and closed the door behind me.

“Re? Where food go refu? Maggot-chan want peel refu-eeeeeeeeen”

Time to go to work.

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The Hubsan X4 H107 is a remote control microdrone that currently dominates its area of the market, owing to its ease of flight and low cost. In addition, this drone can carry small objects, though obviously the manufacturer doesn’t want you to do this. Though, if you do fuck it up, crash kits are relatively inexpensive and most repairs can be done by the end user. Since a maggot weighed just a little more than the heaviest battery this drone can use, it was possible to get it in the air carrying the grub, with some modifications, of course.

So, for the next hour, I was at my desk, creating a small harness for the grub and attaching it to the quadcopter. As I worked, the maggot crawled around on my desk, leaving a dark green fecal trail as it explored its new environment, its previous temper tantrum about having its half-rotted food taken away a distant memory. A few times, it inched its way up to the drone to gum its rubber feet, then lose interest and crawl away. As I was putting the finishing touches on the drone, the maggot finally recognized my presence. It crawled in front of me and rolled over to expose its rotund underside, wiggling its leg stumps and tail excitedly as it made an all too familiar request.

“Mr. Man, give belly rub refu~ Maggot-chan’s tummy be soft and squishy for you refu~”

I made no reply. What had started as a request became more desperate.

“Maggot-chan want belly rub refu~ Please rub belly refu~”

Again no reply. The maggot stopped wiggling and just stared at me, tears welling in its tiny eyes. I did not respond in kind, which only made it cry harder.

“Mr. Man no give belly rub refueeeen… Maggot-chan sad refueeeeeen…”


A tragedy forgotten as soon as I looked at it. No sooner had our eyes met did the maggot’s tears dry and it resume its pleas for a belly rub.

“Maggot-chan here refu! Give punipuni refu~”

WIthout a word, I flipped the drone over and picked up the maggot. It was initially confused at my sudden response. Holding it still with my finger, I tightened the straps on the little harness around the little grub, attaching it to the quadcopter. I ensured that the straps were firm, but not too tight; the maggot needed to be able to breathe, while at the same time it needed to be secured to the drone in such a way that it could not suddenly shift its weight in any direction. As I made my adjustments to the straps, the maggot cooed “This strange punipuni refu~”

“It’s not a belly rub. Why would I give something like you a belly rub? Just so you could shit all over my desk? Not happening. Also,” I continued, my voice becoming a poor imitation of the maggot’s, “Your refu make u sound stoopid, repuuuuuuu”

The maggot started trembling as tears welled up in its eyes again. I never thought I would get such a kick out of hurting the feelings of such a tiny, defenseless creature. But that was before I knew what Jissouseki were.

“Re-ee-eee… Mr. Man is meanie refueeeeen… Hurt Maggot-chan’s feeling refueeeen…”

“Aw… I’m sorry, Maggot-chan. I’ll make it up to you.”

“You mean belly rub refu?”

“Even better than a belly rub! Do you want it?”

“Better than belly rub refu? Better than go poop refu? Maggot-chan want refu!”

“All right then, let’s get started!”

Time for a test flight~

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EDIT: Deleted the first time I posted this because of a mistake.