Hey, look, you actually did more! Nice!

The super long run-on sentences makes it feel like Mia is talking to me. I had to reread some of the sentences to make sense of what happens next. You should slow it down a bit. Describe the touch of the knife inside her neck. The look, the taste of her pussy as she licked it.

It's a good start. Non-lethal is right up my alley, so, thanks for making more.