Well, this one's obviously inspired by one of my own captions, but oh well...

When I got home, I saw my wife being roughly fucked by a stranger.
“Why didn’t you tell me we’re having a guest today?” I asked her. “I’ve only bought food for two people.”
“I couldn’t have known”, my wife explained. “I don’t know this man in the first place. He just came in and asked for a quick fuck.”
“I wouldn’t mind a dinner as well”, the man said. “But don’t worry, a meal for two will suffice, ‘cause I’m going to snuff her anyway”.
“Hope you have fun”, I answered. “And I guess I should get to cooking.”