Lauren-Peach, the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom

Alice-Mhm, she can rule me any time

Lauren-Alice you're drooling

Alice-S-sorry

Lauren-...anyway, standing at 6'01, weighing approximately 140 lbs, and approximately B cup breasts is Princess Peach

Alice-Do you think her vagina tastes like peaches?

Lauren-Though she may seem like you're ordinary damsel in distress, she's far from it. She can effectively wield multiple melee weapons such as golf clubs, tennis rackets, and her trusty umbrella

Alice-And would that mean Daisy's pussy would smell like daisies?

Lauren-And if that's not enough, her heart magic can keep her foes at bay. It gives her the power of flight, heal her, shield her from evil forces, and blast her enemies aside

Alice-And would Luigi's penis taste like pasta? Mhm pasta penis

Lauren-Alice! For the love of god stay on topic! Besides that's linguine

Alice-Sorry guess I'm just hungry

Lauren-(adjusts glasses angrily) Anyways, after having possession of the Vib Scepter She gained the ability to harness and weaponize her emotions

Alice-I have a Vib Scepter if you know what I mean

Lauren-(sighs) great, now I need therapy

Alice-(giggles) your welcome

Lauren-Though on, while her anger slows her down, it drastically increase her power and ignites her

Alice-Her sadness speeds her up by giving her a trail of tears to slip on

Lauren-Being Calm allows her to heal herself

Alice-And joy allows her to glide through the sky

Lauren-Is it just me or do these powers seem redundant

Alice-And even her body can be used as a lethal weapon, especially her sweet a

Lauren-Alice!

Alice-What? I'm deathly series, she can and has butt bumped people hard enough to send them flying

Lauren-It is true that she posses inhuman strength

Alice-And it reaches a climatic peak with her Empress Peach where she sprouts wings, a crown, a halo, then strikes a ball hard enough to clone it and set it and it's clones on fire. Holy shit that's metal

Lauren-(adjusts glasses questioningly) but is that enough to put down her foe Amy Rose?

Alice-Fuck!!!