Lauren-Peach, the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom



Alice-Mhm, she can rule me any time



Lauren-Alice you're drooling



Alice-S-sorry



Lauren-...anyway, standing at 6'01, weighing approximately 140 lbs, and approximately B cup breasts is Princess Peach



Alice-Do you think her vagina tastes like peaches?



Lauren-Though she may seem like you're ordinary damsel in distress, she's far from it. She can effectively wield multiple melee weapons such as golf clubs, tennis rackets, and her trusty umbrella



Alice-And would that mean Daisy's pussy would smell like daisies?



Lauren-And if that's not enough, her heart magic can keep her foes at bay. It gives her the power of flight, heal her, shield her from evil forces, and blast her enemies aside



Alice-And would Luigi's penis taste like pasta? Mhm pasta penis



Lauren-Alice! For the love of god stay on topic! Besides that's linguine



Alice-Sorry guess I'm just hungry



Lauren-(adjusts glasses angrily) Anyways, after having possession of the Vib Scepter She gained the ability to harness and weaponize her emotions



Alice-I have a Vib Scepter if you know what I mean



Lauren-(sighs) great, now I need therapy



Alice-(giggles) your welcome



Lauren-Though on, while her anger slows her down, it drastically increase her power and ignites her



Alice-Her sadness speeds her up by giving her a trail of tears to slip on



Lauren-Being Calm allows her to heal herself



Alice-And joy allows her to glide through the sky



Lauren-Is it just me or do these powers seem redundant



Alice-And even her body can be used as a lethal weapon, especially her sweet a



Lauren-Alice!



Alice-What? I'm deathly series, she can and has butt bumped people hard enough to send them flying



Lauren-It is true that she posses inhuman strength



Alice-And it reaches a climatic peak with her Empress Peach where she sprouts wings, a crown, a halo, then strikes a ball hard enough to clone it and set it and it's clones on fire. Holy shit that's metal



Lauren-(adjusts glasses questioningly) but is that enough to put down her foe Amy Rose?



Alice-Fuck!!!