Tsunade Fists Waifu Wars



Lauren-Genin, Chunin, and Jounin. These are the three levels that make up the Shinobi world. Yet there is one above this, more legend than fact, a title given to those who surpass the limits of humanity, those whose power rivals the 5 Kaga. These are the Legendary Sannin



Alice-There are only 3 Sannin. Jiraiya, Orochimaru, and Lady Tsunade



Lauren-55 years old, weighing in at 107 pounds, standing at 5 feet 3 inches, and carrying E cup breasts



Alice-Okay first of, how is she still so fucking hot if she's 55! Secondly how does she carry around those things without serious back problems?



Lauren-Ninja Magic Alice. Ninja Magic



Alice-Well oooooooookay then



Lauren-Well to be more precise, medical Ninjutsu. Using this she can greatly increase her cell regeneration, giving her a far more youthful appearance



Alice-So it’s like all those green tea extract things I see on infomercials, but it actually works!



Lauren-Oh, it's much more than that. She can also use it heal from wounds, or take the offensive with by affecting enemies on a cellular level. She can damage your organs, or even interfere with your nerve system so trying to move one body part will move a different one



Alice-Like being confused in a video game!



Lauren-Exactly. However, medical Ninjutsu is not her main method of combat



Alice-She punches shit real good!



Lauren-*Adjusts glasses explanatively* It's more accurate to say that she infuses her limbs with Chakra



Alice-...which allows her to punch shit real good! She can easily shatter giant boulders, and can send a grown man flying with ease!



Lauren-She’s one of the Naruto Universes heaviest physical hitters in right behind characters like Rock Lee, Might Guy, and her apprentice Sakura



Alice-If being an eternally hot granny with giant titts who can punch things really well isn't enough, she's got a super form!



Lauren-You see Tsundes stores a little bit of Chakra she generates everyday in a seal in a seal for a great deal of time. She can unlock this seal to gain enhanced...well everything, and a nifty healing factor to top it all off. This technique is called the Yin Seal: Release



Alice-With all these abilities, and skills she's managed to pull of some pretty impressive shit



Lauren-Like that time she survived an encounter with Madara Uchiha alongside the other 4 Kage



Alice-That might not sound impressive sense she only managed to survive, and she had the help of 4 ninja presidents, but once you remember that Madara is basically undead, evil, ninja Jesus, yeah that's pretty impressive



Lauren-She even managed to shatter his Susanoo with her strength



Alice-And notice how the bitch that we all call Lauren said the other 4 Kage. That's right! Tsunade became the ninja president of the Hidden Leaf, the Hokage. Finally, a woman in office!



Lauren-However she does have a few minor flaws. Manly her Chakra



Alice-Catra!



Lauren-She’s completely dependent on it. Without, she's just another old lady



Alice-Plus the fact that she lacks Ninjutsu, And Genjutsu kinda sucks



Lauren-But when you've gained the title of Sannin, that hardly matters