Alice-Space is fucking weird

Lauren-*adjusts glasses academic* as a woman who has done ground breaking research on everything from black holes, to the gravitational pull of planets. I can indeed confirm that “space is fucking weird”

Alice-And now one better illustrates this than Captain Marvel

Lauren-Real Name Carol Danvers, age 28-32, height 5'11", weight 165 lbs, cup size estimated D.Carol lived a pretty ordinary life until one life changing

Alice-Ordinary!?! She was a jet pilot, and worked for fucking NASA!

Lauren-Well, Ordinary compared to me.

Alice-Well during that whole NASA thing, Carol got caught in a space battle between the Kree, and the Kree superhero Captain Marvel. Well some shit went down, the pilot, and hero ended up in a machine that blew up. And because this is comic books she just grew a new brain lobe, and gained Captain Marvel's powers instead of being yeeted out of existence. Then her and Captain everything but America became the best of friends, and fought evil together.

Lauren-Until he died

Alice-Yeah that had to suck. But no worries, Carol took his place, and became the new, Captain Marvel.

Lauren-She was perfect for the job too. Carol has super strength that can match the hulks, fly around the speed of sound, fire beams of photon energy, as well as create fields of it for defensive purposes.

Alice-Yep, she basically has all the basic super hero stuff

Lauren-Well she has one ability that sets her apart from all the other Superman clones. Energy absorption

Alice-Magic, electricity, plasma, whatever you throw at her, she'll suck it right up, like she's your local whore sucking the cum out of your dick!

Lauren-And if she absorbs enough energy, she becomes Binary

Alice-No this does not mean she decides to be a Male or female, it means her head fucking lights on fire, and she gets even stronger!

Lauren-Yes Binary is immensely powerful, and supposedly has the power of a star, but it takes a massive amount of energy for her to entire this form

Alice-Flaming head or no, Carol is strong. She's defeated the Hulk, absorbed the energy of a nuke, punched Iron Man out of his armor, and flew from the earth to the atmosphere in 118 seconds!

Lauren-But as Marvelous as she is, she’s far from perfect. She's brash proven by the fact she started a second superhero civil war, is an alcoholic as well as being incredibly conceded

Alice-That was fucking terrible Lauren, just leave the puns to me. And besides a few mental issues are nothing when you can blow planets up

Lauren-I’m pretty sure that just makes them larger problems

Alice-But how will she fair against her alien foe Starfire?