>>16685

Thanks for all the feedback!

> I love this story for gruesome and detailed deaths with psychological horror mixed in. Or maybe psychological glee? I do like the trio of Bob/Emma/Kasia although even without Bob would read about them as they are interesting characters. I guess Bob's character development is in machines :P .

Yeah, Bob's character is probably underdeveloped TBH, I suppose the protagonists all are. And there's hardly any backstory, but this is (mostly) intentional. When I started this, it was just supposed to be an endless conveyor of girls getting splattered, so the main characters are pretty 2D. Now it's gone spinning out of control, and turned into some kind of actual story with a plot and everything. When (if) I re-write it, I might flesh things out a bit.

>You did mention snippets of other people like Dave being in some sort of conspiracy alongside with maybe video watchers of the content the factory produces (sounded like they were made for more than personal collection).

Did I? I don't think I did at all! Those videos are only for the happy couple's use. Funnily enough, I have considered some kind of video business, perhaps like some of the plotlines in Carey, Queen of Escapes or the scenarios on PerilousThoughts.com

But mostly, I just think extended story lines like that will just get in the way of splatter.


>I'd love to read how both Bob and Emma actually got into it and their first endeavours and how they established the routine they have now.

I agree, a bit more backstory there would be good. I might do that in the re-write. Or maybe do some kind of retrospective. I'll think about it.

>And now onto random character idea…

There's nothing wrong with that idea, except I don't really want to add more story. I like the way the goings on at the farm are self contained, for instance, there's really no mention of the police, or the fact that Bob and Emma have significantly boosted the nations figures for missing persons. I leave all that stuff out, and let the reader wonder about it. And that's why the victims just turn up in Dave's van - it's so I don't have to explain where they came from!