>>16452
No, you are epic. You all are epic.
Why, it doesn't work like with Keanu?
Well, whatever.
Here's some work in progress piece then.

Black Ice (Work In Progress)
(Kagamine Rin, Kagamine Len, kinda abortion, but more just enjoying the weather)

Asami didn’t want her children to turn into shut-ins. So when today again after coming home from school the twins went straight to their room seemingly intended to just stay there for the rest of the day, the woman decided it was time to do something about it.

“Put it there”, Len gestured towards the table without looking at his mother as she entered the room, as he assumed she has simply brought lunch. The boy was sitting on the edge of the bed with a gamepad in his hands, his eyes focused on the screen where some video game action was happening. He must have hurried to play this game so much he didn’t even undress properly after coming from school, still wearing his white shirt and yellow necktie. Rin was in a similar state of unfinished undress, only in her case it was a skirt that remained on her body. She was lying on the bed with a pillow under her chest as she was reading a book while absentmindedly fiddling Len’s dick with her feet.

“Hey, kids”, Asami said. “When was the last time you were outside?”
Len finally faced his mother to give her a confused look and discovered that not only she didn’t bring lunch, but she was also dressed in a nice dress as if planning to go outside.
“Like an hour ago?” Len answered.
“Right, when we came from school”, Rin confirmed.
“Going to school and back doesn’t count”, Asami objected. “All you do lately is just sit in your room all day long. You should breathe more fresh air”.
“But the weather is so dull”, Len gestured at the window.
“There’s neither snow nor wind”, Rin added.

So that’s what it was all about, Asami realized. While most children enjoyed playing in the rain or snow, the twins’ love for harsh weather went far beyond that, as for them it wasn’t about them playing, it was about them being played or better to say toyed with by the nature itself. So whenever the boring adults would shield themselves with umbrellas and raincoats, the cheerful twins would rather strip naked so that nothing would stand in the way of enjoying the rage of the elements with every bit of their bodies. And whenever falling trees and flying debris compelled any sensible person to seek shelter, the excited twins would rush outside and throw themselves at the storm’s mercy with such eagerness which Asami wished they would display when throwing themselves into her own embrace. But their favorite were heavy snowstorms, as aimlessly running in the nude among all the twirling snow that made the air so opaque they couldn’t see the way only relying for directions on the strong wind that pushed them around so hard it almost lifted them from the ground made the twins feel like they themselves became nothing more than another pair of snowflakes, so tiny and unsubstantial almost as if they didn’t exist at all anymore, instead blending with the rest of the snow and disappearing in it.

The only time when the twins were even more delighted about the weather was during a massive hailstorm. It happened during schoolday and all the children got excited about it, but the teacher insisted they should finish the lesson first, and most reluctantly obliged. Not Len and Rin though, who weren’t willing to take any chance of missing such a phenomenon, so not only they didn’t wait for the end of the lesson, but didn’t even waste time taking the stairs down, instead just jumping out right through the third floor window. At least with all the other windows broken by the hail on that day the school didn’t make Asami pay for the broken glass.

Rin landed on her right side, getting a couple of broken ribs and a hip fracture, and Len landed on his feet, breaking his left ankle and dislocating the right one, but also breaking his right leg, so not being able to support himself on his feet he immediately fell on his stomach. For both of the twins the flat contact with the ground painfully pushed the shards of broken glass that have cut their bodies all over even deeper, making the twins realize that same glass has also torn their clothes apart, as in the hurry they didn’t take time to undress before jumping. But neither the sadly ruined clothes they knew they would be scolded for nor the amusing injuries which at any other times would be so fun to play with concerned the twins at that moment when there was such a fierce hailstorm raging.

After quickly stripping out of the torn and bloodstained clothes the twins crawled a bit away from the school building to a more open area and spread their arms and legs widely in a hope to maximize the area of their bodies to be hit by the hail. They also turned onto their backs to face the sky so they could see and welcome the hailstones mercilessly bombarding them, but from time to time turned back onto their stomachs so that their backs could get some attention too.

The twins were mostly enjoying a steady barrage of golf ball-sized hailstones, the bruises coloring their skin with splats of various shades of purple until there became so many they all merged together, turning each of the twins into just one big colorful bruise. But then the lesson was finally over and the rest of the children rushed outside to play in the hailstorm. They were merrily running around picking up hailstones and throwing them at each other. In the meanwhile, as the twins’ injuries didn’t let them join the running, they just kept lying on the ground, now continuously mashed not only by the hail, but also by other children running right on top of them, not noticing the twins half-buried under all the hail covering the ground, or maybe noticing, but being too consumed by the general fun to bother to step around them, resulting in their bodies getting additionally decorated by a layer of shoeprints on top of even more bruises.

But as amusing as being beaten into pulp by both the nature and the crowd was, the real icing on the cake was occasional especially large hailstones, like a size of a grapefruit, which were not only heavier, but also could reach a much larger velocity in their fall. According to the twins, getting hit by one of those among all the golf-ball sized ones was like getting a ruthless punch from a boxer among a nice relaxing massage. One such a punch got Len a few broken ribs of his own, and another even revealed Rin’s early pregnancy by hitting her right in the womb and aborting it.

At first Asami couldn’t understand the reason behind the overwhelming delight with which the twins told her how they discovered the bloody lump pouring out of Rin’s slit to actually be a fetus, of which Len, of course, assumed he was the father. Sure, they discovered they had a baby, but since it was already dead anyway, why would it matter? Wasn’t it the same as if it never existed in the first place? But the twins then explained that it was exactly that which made the whole situation so amusing. The child’s existence only becoming proved by the end of that very existence was one big incongruity, and incongruity is of course known as a base of humor.

It was at that moment that Asami realized she has become one of those adults she herself used to find unbearably boring. For the reason she failed to find the fun in the unexpected abortion was because she didn’t even seek for it, while for the children it was just natural to derive fun from literally everything, and the less sense it made the better. Life itself was nothing but a game for them, and by extension so was death. Asami could totally imagine her children killing themselves just for fun one day, or rather the only reason they had not done so yet must have been because they were yet to come up with the most silly and thus most amusing reason for it that they could.

(to be continued)