>>17189
>>17191
Of course, you can write in present tense, in a blow-by-blow account of what is happening. But I feel there is something a bit strange in the way you do it. I'm not sure what it is, to be honest. Maybe it's because it's written in a descriptive way, and not from one person's perspective. Perhaps someone who is properly educated in that kind of stuff can explain it better than me.