>>16827
Are you still writing/planning to write the "cum bunny" story I suggested?
If you are, I'd also like to suggest that the girls end up splitting up or becoming isolated somehow before they orgasm and die.
Although it's a story of a lot of girls, I'm actually not into Yuri (maybe one of the girls fingering another would be good, but Yuri isn't something I find myself being into.)
I'd like to see a variety of fear, and some tolerant apathy towards losing, and therefore, dying. None of them trying to get killed, but maybe not any screaming and crying should they be found and killed.
That's what I'd like to see anyway, if it can be part of what you make that'd be awesome, but if you can't make it work, don't worry about it, your the writer.