I also made an extended version of the last part.

***

Seeing that Asuka was no longer among the living, Rei pulled the knife from her throat. She stood up and walked to the sink, rinsing the blood off of the knife, before making her way to the living room, knife still in hand. She went to her school bag, rummaging around. She found it. Molecular Cell Biology. The book she was reading through in her spare time.

"Your turn".

Asuka's words rang through her head. She looked down at her stomach. She already knew what she would find should she cut herself open, so that was of no particular interest to her, but she saw no harm in complying with Asuka’s final request either. Rei didn’t plan to finish herself with a quick slash to her throat like Asuka did though, as she figured just cutting her abdomen open would work just fine for killing herself. Of course, it would be slower and hurt more, but if she was aiming for quick and painless, she could have just chosen another method in the first place. So Rei figured, as long as she was committing seppuku, might as well go all the way with the slow and painful part. Not that physical pain ever bothered her anyway. And what for the long time it would take to die – that’s what the book was for, to kill the time while she was killing herself (naturally, Rei didn’t even smile, totally missing the pun in her own thoughts).

Rei laid her bag down lengthwise, placing her book on top of it. Recalling she had stopped reading it last night just before the chapter on Nerve Cells, Rei opened the book on the appropriate page and continued from where she left off. Rei has read a couple of paragraphs to gain momentum and then, without averting her eyes from the book, brought the knife she was still holding close to her left hip. Rei tried pushing it in while keeping reading, but found it hard to measure required pressure just right without really paying attention to it. After all, if she pushed the blade too deep, she risked damaging her viscera, thus shortening the time it would take her to die. Not that she minded it in and of itself, but it would make the entire endeavor with the book rather pointless. Rei wanted to have at least enough time to finish this chapter and not just rush it through, as she wasn’t interested in reading something without actually digesting it. And so, too make sure she’ll enjoy her reading, Rei had to stop reading for now and concentrate on cutting herself.

Making sure to properly read to the end of a paragraph and also to note where on the page it was, so she would be able to return to it quickly afterwards, Rei has finally averted her gaze from the book and focused on the knife in her hands. She took her time, making sure she made the cut just right. The knife didn't have too much to cut through, given her small, lithe build. She clearly felt the lack of resistance one she had pierced through the muscle, stopping herself from applying more pressure almost instantly. Good, now that she has found the appropriate depth, she just needed to keep it steady as she pulls the knife towards her right hip, and Rei was sure this much she could handle alongside the reading.

However, another paragraph later, Rei have noticed that the knife didn’t cut through her abdomen as well as she would have expected. Just when she regained momentum in reading. Rei sighed, as she wasn’t fond of a thought of losing it again. She tried to start slow sawing motions, careful not to push too deep, but also keeping her main focus on reading. And it ended up working rather well as she was dragging the blade against her torn flesh bit by bit. Rei could feel each individual muscle fiber tearing, which brought quite a lot of pain, but she tried her best not to pay attention to it so that it didn’t distract her from the book which got more engaging with every paragraph. Before she knew it, Rei finished reading a spread, while the knife was still halfway through her abdomen, right below her belly button. Distracting from cutting for the sake of reading was much more agreeable with Rei than the other way around though, so she gave no second thought stopping sawing herself and reaching for the book to turn a page. Rei was just about to touch the book when she noticed her hand was covered in blood. Actually, she discovered, what started as a trickle of blood when she started the cut, has now turned into a torrent she only failed to notice until this point because of being emerged in the book. Rei didn’t want to stain the book if she could avoid it, so she licked the blood from her index finger before using it to turn a page.

As Rei was reaching both her right hip and the end of another book spread, the pain and blood loss made her hands tremble, but she didn’t let herself falter in either reading the book or sawing through her abdomen. With a final tug she had completed the cut, yet unlike with Asuka, her insides were staying inside. It was certainly better this way. Less messy. Rei set the knife aside and licked her bloody finger again to turn another page.

Even with growing weakness and constantly bugging pain, with no active cutting to distract her, it didn't take long for Rei to finish the chapter. Or perhaps it did and she simply lost track of time. Regardless, by the time she reached the chapter’s last page, Rei didn’t feel anywhere close to death. She was weak and in pain for sure, but the blood had stopped gushing out of her wound, or rather it has slowed down to a steady flow, and Rei felt she had at least another hour left it her. Which was a good thing if she wanted to continue reading, but she wasn’t so sure about that anymore. Her vision was getting blurry as well as her thoughts, and even if she could still force herself to figure out the words, grasping the meaning grew harder with each paragraph, which made further reading rather pointless. Should she then just wait for death to come, in the meanwhile savoring the feeling of her abdomen being cut? But that seemed pretty boring. Rei couldn’t see what Asuka found in seppuku. As far as she was concerned, reading was far more engaging. With her thoughts returning to the book, Rei concluded if she couldn’t read the rest of it, perhaps she should spend her last hour contemplating on the part she had read.

Rei always had an interest in biology. It was fascinating how something perceived as life was in fact just a complex set of chemical reactions and a bit of electricity. The more Rei learned about how her body worked, the more assured she felt that there was nothing really alive about it at the core. Most people would probably find such an idea disturbing, but for Rei it was, on the contrary, a thought that brought her comfort. After all, if what we perceive as life wasn’t just an illusion caused by the unpredictability of complex systems, that would be an anomaly. And on the other and if no life apart from such an illusion existed, that would be totally normal. Such an illusionary life would be a much more natural part of the world than something that could think and have free will for real. And that is why Rei preferred to believe that even this whole train of thought was nothing more than a result of the nerve cells in her brain producing electric impulses in a specific pattern.

Speaking of nerve cells. Thinking about what she had just read on them and connecting that to the prior experience with Shinji taking her virginity, Rei somehow made the link that for her nether regions more pain equaled more pleasure. Not that she cared for either, but with nothing better to spend her remaining time on, she thought might as well test this. Grabbing the knife with one hand, and holding her bisected belly with the other, she got up on her knees. She placed the knife right below her, resting the tip against her lower lips. Rei was sure this would hurt as hell, but wondered just how much of the pain can turn into pleasure. She slowly wiggled the tip of the blade inside her, feeling the cold steel brush past. A jolt shot up her spine as the blade gently brushed her tender flesh. So far it felt great. She focused less on the pain in her stomach, and more on the pleasant tingling coming from her crotch. She pulled the knife out slightly before pushing it in a bit further, just slightly grazing her insides, as the first droplets of fresh blood began to drip from the knife. Yet another thrust left a steady stream of blood pouring out of her as she twitched violently from both pain and pleasure.

With each thrust the knife went further, cutting deeper. The pain started to build yet Rei did not stop until the knife was in up to the hilt. And even then she wasn't done. Rei was determined to try her best to reach an orgasm, not as much for the feeling of it as just to satisfy her curiosity of whether it was really possible by the means of a knife. And by know she was pretty close to that. So, letting go of her wound she grasped the handle with both hands as she jerked the knife upwards. The initial tug gave her that sweet release she her body craved for, but she pulled a bit too hard. The blade tore through her vaginal walls, up past her pubic mound, slicing through everything in the way, bladder included. The caustic fluid spilled over her torn insides as Rei kept pulling the blade upwards.

Her strength finally failed her as she just joined up the cuts, as her innards gushed out all over her bag, and her book. Losing her balance along with her insides, she fell forwards, burying the knife into her spine leaving her paralyzed below the point of impact. With that she no longer felt pain. She just felt cold. Incredibly cold. The shock and blood loss finally getting to her. Tears began to pour out of her eyes and her thoughts began to wander, turning once more to the book. As her blurry vision was fading to black, Rei stared right at the book, noticing how it was all messed up and bloodied. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for ruining such a good book beyond repair. But Rei herself was in a pretty much similar state, wasn’t she? She wasn’t concerned for herself though, finding comfort in the knowledge that she was no more special than any other of her clones which could easily replace her. But then, tracing the analogy back, Rei realized the book was also just one among numerous copies. Reaching such a conclusion allowed Rei to let go of her worry for the book, and as there was nothing else to trouble her, she has ended her life with a peace of mind.