Pt 2

I put my hand in and pulled out a coil of intestine.

This wasn’t so bad I thought. Suddenly, I vomited, well dry-heaved, all over the stage. This isn’t happening I thought, was it because of the pain? It had to be, right? I had interned for three months at a morgue, I heaved again, with tears coming out of my eyes. Thankfully, I had fasted for a week before this.

Oh god, I said, and instinctively looked up at my advisor. She gave me stern look, meaning only one thing…this had to continue. I took a few deep breaths, gulped some air and continued pulling my intestines out.

At this stage I was horny. I knew this would happen, but I had to ignore it. The intestines coiled and uncoiled and formed a steaming pile in front of me. This was for art. I had to remind myself. This is art. I reminded myself. At one point, the intestines snagged on something, and so I had to yank them out, but thankfully nothing tore. My art project had to be perfect, but what about the throbbing of my vagina? I would have to deal with that later.

Once my intestines were sufficiently out, and had started tugging on my esophagus, I picked up the knife and cut off. I had meanwhile also managed to take out my stomach. The pain was exquisite. I was sweating from pain and would have defecated had it not been for the fast. My bladder had given way midway though the pulling out, but only droplets trickled down my lag. I had been dehydrating myself for three days for just such a contingency.
This was stage one.

“Am I now skinny enough for the beauty standards of the patriarchy?” I yelled to the stage. My right hand was raised up holding the knife, and my left hand had taken the two flaps of skin and muscle that were my abdomen and scrunched them together. My abdomen was now narrow, narrower than any corset could make them, and for fifteen glorious seconds, I was the shapeliest woman on earth.

I took a deep breath. Stage two had to begin, but this would be quick. I quickly grabbed the knife with two hands and plunged them on my pubic mound. Thank god for painkillers. I at once started to slice sideways up to my hip bones on both sides. I delicately reached into the hole I had made earlier and gingerly started to slice through my skin.