>>13741
Thank you for the kind and constructive words!

>I think this story is even too intense to be posted in one piece

I agree that the story would benefit from being divided into chapters, but I really didn't feel like putting in the extra work - posting on Gurochan at the moment is a bit of a hassle. Also, I'm lazy. I might go over and format the story better on Pixiv, once it's finished.

>One thing you may be lacking is expressing how girls feel

I agree, and I've tried to focus more on that in the newest part (last two posts). There's definitely still room for improvement though.