>>14017 >>14020
I enjoyed >>13988, apart from being a bit uncomfortable with the underage aspect.
• Liked the enthusiasm/excitement/enjoyment of the girls, even if boy bands are gross.
• Appreciated the satirical elements, though they don't do anything for me particularly.
• Liked the strangulation and necksnapping; the cheers at the deaths; and Zoe cumming from the sight of the corpse/her future self.
• Death and orgasm exactly coinciding is always satisfying, regardless of probability.
• The phrase "Doug's huge donkey cock" was boner-killingly comical.
• Was a bit distracted trying to guess how many "boys" were in the band.
• Bit implausible for even a teenager to consider that they couldn't be fucking a continuous stream of girls *and* filling multiple tubes with fresh cum at the same time. Or are there whole teams of cum pumps considered equally part of the band and desirable to be drowned by?
• I assume Zoe was too dumb to pick up that the singing was fake; but even so, how would the "boys" have the stamina to keep fucking and cumming in girls throughout the set? Are they drugged? Robots?
• The phrase "every lucky girl in the auditorium" is distractingly ambiguous. Is it tautologically saying that every girl lucky enough to be picked would be picked; or saying that the every girl eventually would be, with only the males (if any) left to watch? Did the mom insist on Sarah going because she wanted to avoid being stuck caring for her without Zoe's help; or was it just a negotiating tactic?
• I wonder whether some girls would want to be picked first, to have the attention/adulation of the crowd; while others would want to be last, to have the intimacy of being "alone" with the band.

Haven't finished reading >>14010, but I like where it's going, and hope I'll be able to appreciate the rest without knowing Shego.
• The bit about the paperwork isn't to my taste. I prefer stories where anyone who wanted to do non-consensual things, or entrap someone to sue/prosecute them, would be immediately stopped, and where no one would sue or prosecute over something consensual. But it's not overly distracting.
• "Heart shaped ass" is hard to picture.
• I liked the part about softly and pleasurably sinking a knife into someone. But I pictured "just below the ribs" as "into the heart". Even if it somehow found a path between vital organs, their not losing any energy/stamina from being repeatedly stabbed and supposedly bleeding to death is hard to picture.
• Calling a figure both a "man" and a "bull" is distracting. What in particular makes him the latter?
• Similarly, what makes a girl a "co-ed" in this context?
• "A number" is distractingly vague given the amount of focus and detail the scene is given. Surely it's either two or three?
• I don't see the appeal of cutting off random extremities. Why bother with something so small and remote? I could see biting them off, maybe.
• For some reason removing one breast offends my sense of symmetry in a way removing an arm or eye doesn't.
• A torniquet and slow sawing don't appeal to me personally. I could see a torniquet being used if it were a surgical amputation because she wanted to live long-term without the arm; but in the heat of passion I'd rather slice it clean off and let it flow, and let her survive by fiat if she does.
• "Pestering for someone to choke her" is distracting, as it leaves it in the air whether someone does; or is even in a position to. When it's next mentioned, it's already over. How'd she survive five minutes of it? Why did the man get up and switch to an eyefuck instead of finishing the job; and why didn't she complain when he did?
• Not sure how to picture "chanting" in the context. And his thrusting "to" the chanting makes it sound like she was chanting *as* he thrust.
• Overall, it's awkward how the paragraph goes back and forth between rapid immediate actions and large amounts of time passing. Is Ethan just standing there staring the whole time; not even sitting down, or feeling any temptation to jerk off?
• I do like her impatience to lose her arm, and later her life.

Finally, excellent use of foot-in-the-door technique. May come back later and read more, and maybe try to answer the question in the title. Then again, may not. I have stuff I need to do, so if I post again in the next week, please find and rape me.