>>14123
Yeah, I realised that there needs to be more dialog, and thought processes revealed in the story. In ch. 5 I expand quite a bit on Kasia's thoughts, because when I re-read the old version her emotional journey didn't ring true to me.

Also I've discovered that I really enjoy writing dialog where the protagonists are discussing what they might to with the victims. I think it's pretty hot. Emma talking about sawing heads off and such gives me a boner. But maybe that's just me.

I think previously, I didn't really regard it as 'action' so kept the dialog to a minimum.