[Return]

Report a post

Preview
The tablesaw story has a good premise, but it lacks the details of actually riding the ride. "It was very painful and then she died" doesn't really cut it. Basically the whole story is a warm up in anticipation of a climax that never comes, instead becoming a disappointment.

Now, the carousel story on the other hand, that one's all great and fantastic, solves the problem of the first story more than enough. I also had an idea about a snuff amusement park, but I was going more for variety of different rides, rather than one very detailed ride, because it never occurred to me a single ride could have so much happening in it. I would absolutely love to read more stories like that.
Post number No.22241
Board Literature
Optional. Describe what's wrong with it.