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Aoi Hikari
2021/05/27
(Thu)
11:37:05
No.
22241
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The tablesaw story has a good premise, but it lacks the details of actually riding the ride. "It was very painful and then she died" doesn't really cut it. Basically the whole story is a warm up in anticipation of a climax that never comes, instead becoming a disappointment.
Now, the carousel story on the other hand, that one's all great and fantastic, solves the problem of the first story more than enough. I also had an idea about a snuff amusement park, but I was going more for variety of different rides, rather than one very detailed ride, because it never occurred to me a single ride could have so much happening in it. I would absolutely love to read more stories like that.
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22241
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Literature
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