Sidney Souvenirs
By
Edward Hyde
The discrete black car with its tinted windows pulled up outside the Sidney Campaign press-office and the girl herself got out. The modest limo might have drawn attention in any small town or been considered flashy by the standards of pretty much any other city but in LA it was close to invisible and that was how Sidney liked it. On her way from the hotel suite in one of her father’s many commercial properties she had passed three billboards with her face and body prominently displayed yet was fairy sure she could have stood directly underneath any of them without anyone recognising her. She checked her phone again. No messages from Jessie, although the ones she had sent were marked as “seen”. She sighed and slipped the phone back into the pocket of her jeans. She had gained fame and notoriety and, according to the latest polls at least, was getting closer every day to realising her dream yet she worried that she had lost her best friend in the process and wished that Jessie would at least talk to her and give her a chance to explain. Still, she could not let the drama in her personal life distract from her mission. She dismissed her driver politely and confidently strode across the busy pavement to the glass-fronted office and used her pass to open the door without needing to be buzzed in.

The massive office space was buzzing as it always was, with volunteers answering a bank of phones taking calls of support, pledges and very occasional condemnatory abuse from the public, many employees sat at computers, many of them wearing headsets and talking with politicians and the press while they worked and still more bustling about with clipboards, folders, phones and tablets all looking incredibly busy and important even if none of their colleagues could tell what they were actually doing. It resembled very closely the office of a politician running for office, whether local, national or even presidential, with the full financial support of her daddy and his multinational company behind it. There was a similar, if smaller office near their family home in Dallas, Texas, always equally busy and engaged in very similar work and, if truth be told, Sidney preferred being there, and preferred Texas to California in general but, as Martha her chief press agent had pointed out on many occasions, since the majority of talk-shows with a national and international reach were filled in LA or close by, that was where she needed to spend the majority of her time. Sidney considered it a small sacrifice to achieve her wish.

“Hi Sidney!” various staffers greeted her enthusiastically. She smiled and waved happily, feeling grateful that she had finally managed to persuade them not to call her “Miss Roebuck.” She knew they were just being polite but she always felt the formal title made her sound like an old maid school-teacher or librarian! The office was decorated with her campaign posters as well as matching bunting with boxes stacked everywhere containing promotional pins, flyers and even little flags to be given out at her big public speeches. Part of her felt that it should feel odd to see a dozen or so cardboard standees of her own naked body lining the wall but truthfully she barely recognised the grinning, big-haired, glamorous character they depicted as herself.

When she first met with Martha and the rest of the PR team she had pitched the idea of posing naked without any makeup or accessories, in neutral poses, but with meat-cuts marked on her body like the old, controversial PETA posters she had seen and rather enjoyed when she had begun to explore the idea of cannibalism and girl-meat before making up her mind that it was where her destiny lay. The team had encouraged her that a strong figure-head, easy recognisable, was required for such a campaign and that people might see posters like she proposed and assume she was just a model, not the face of the campaign itself. Next had come the suggestion of dressing her like a farm-girl, first with the meat-cuts marked but then side lining that idea in the fear that it might make people assume it was another of the protest ads it emulated and have the opposite of the desired effect, or lead people to assume her campaign was satirical. She had posed for a few test-shots in brown horse-riding boots and a red kerchief around her neck, blonde hair in first one thick braid then in two side-braids, tied with red ribbons. Feeling that the over-all look was missing something, one of the advisors had gone and found a straw cowboy hat to complete the ensemble.

Sidney had actually been quite happy with this look and had enjoyed an afternoon-long shoot a few days later dressed in this way, expecting the photos to grace billboards, flyers and magazine ads in due course and planning to dress this way for any press conferences or television interviews that were arranged for her. She felt no shyness having her naked body on display – she was trying to advertise its suitability as meat after all, but realised that a bikini or even a pair of Daisy Dukes and a crop-top might be required for some prime-time appearances until people got used to the idea of the naked meat-girl displaying the menu.

Posters and flyers had even been mocked up and were ready to go to print when a junior staffer had pointed out the similarity between Sidney’s “official” look and the Wendy’s mascot, leading to fears of confusion among the public and even the risk of legal action from the well-known chain. With time running out, this had lead to a scramble to find a new look for their own mascot. Sidney had never been entirely sure who had come up with the final idea or how much of the night her team had sat up brainstorming but, when she arrived the next morning, she had been presented with a pink, rhinestone-encrusted version of the hat and boots she had been wearing for the previous shoot and practically shoved into a makeup chair where her hair had been primped and curled and makeup she thought worthy of a drag-queen had been applied. When they were done, the girl who looked back at her from the full-length mirror, while the team waited behind her looking anxious, was less farm-girl and more pageant queen or country music star but was certain to attract attention! At the same moment, it struck Sidney that a look so far removed from her usual tom-boyish appearance would enable her to keep her private life during the campaign, the final aspect that she had been worried about. Grinning broadly, she had declared the look “perfect” and, after letting out a collective sigh of relief, the team had wasted no time setting up a new shoot and having all the initial wave of publicity re-made in time to meet their original print deadline.

Since then, multiple sets had been acquired for her in every conceivable colour. As her profile and celebrity status grew, her team had even entered into licensing agreements to produce cheap replicas, often packaged with blonde wigs or with the yellow curls attached to the brim of the hat like rasta dreads, as well as higher-end models and the manufacturers of the originals began advertising their own products “as worn by Sidney Roebuck”. Three sets were always kept on standby in the office in case they were required at short notice but for television interviews and organised photo-shoots, members of the team would take the costume pieces to the location where, assisted by the expert and experienced hair and makeup team, the pretty but unimposing Texan girl would be transformed into the striking glamourpuss that millions around the world recognised as Sidney Roebuck. Sidney knew that she was scheduled to appear on one of the most popular talk-shows that evening and was really looking forward to it, but for now she was wearing loose-fitting jeans, worn sneakers and a Dallas Stars hockey jersey.

While most of the office was open-plan, with banks of desks and computers and occasional free-standing pin-boards creating partitions around the desks of certain key team-members, Sidney had her own separate space at the back with glass walls allowing her to look out at the rest of the office – it made her feel like the editor of a newspaper in a movie, although she could not imagine Perry White or J. Jonah Jameson decorating their offices like hers. Aside from her computer, the desk was covered in Funko Pop figures, including one two of herself – one in true-life colours wearing a white hat and boots and the other metallic gold. There were three vintage arcade machines, air-hockey and foosball tables, a gumball dispenser and Coca-Cola vending machine as well as three big-screen televisions, a sound-system for music and movies, a work-out corner complete with yoga mat, rowing machine, treadmill and light weights and several posters of her favourite hockey team and a framed jersey signed by their current roster of players.

As well as the entertainment and work-out facilities there was a large sofa with a low coffee table in front of it. At one end of the room were two doors – one which opened into a simple closet where she kept her emergency “Sidney costumes” and an assortment of other spare clothes and shoes and the other which led to a private bathroom complete with shower.

Flopping down into her swivel chair and tossing her phone onto the desk, the billionaire's daughter typed in her password and checked her official social media sites. She had her own private accounts on most platforms, of course, under pseudonyms known only to her friends and immediate family but her team had created these profiles for her, or for her public persona at least, as a way for her to interact with her fans and supporters.

Having caught up with her messages, posts and fan-mail, she checked her diary. With an hour to go before her meeting with Martha, she stood and stripped off her clothes. Most girls her age wouldn’t want to strip naked where an office full of adults were able to see her but since the office in question was filled with photographic depictions of her naked body in assorted sizes, including larger than life, she felt no need to be self-conscious. On one of the large screens she put on one of the rolling news channels which often covered her campaign, muted but with subtitles on. On another she put on a channel that showed music videos, one after the other without interruption from adverts or presenters and sent the audio through the office’s sound-system. Entertainment in place, she began her daily routine designed both to keep her looking her best when appearing naked on television and to keep her meat in top condition so she’d be ready the moment the longed-for news came, whenever that might be.

When she was done, with fifteen minutes to go before her meeting, she took a refreshing shower and came out with a towel around her hair but not around her body and looked through the clothes in her office closet looking for something fresh to put on, settling on a pair of knee-length shorts and a vest-top which she pulled on, not bothering with shoes or underwear, then sat back down at her desk to see if any new messages had come through. After a few minutes, Martha knocked in the glass door. Sidney looked up with a grin and beckoned her in. The young blonde stood up and pressed the button on the vending machine for a full-sugar classic Coke and asked Martha what she would like. Her request for a vanilla Coke Zero was met with Sidney’s typical teasing eye-roll she always responded to such choices with then the pair, close in friendship despite their vast different in age, with Martha being more than three times the younger girl’s age, sat down on the sofa to commence their meeting, Sidney’s bare feet stretched out in front of her and onto Martha’s smart-skirted lap.

“So?” Sidney grinned, “Is it ready?”

“It sure is!” the slick public relations professional grinned, handing Sidney a tablet. “It’s all good to go! Just give your approval and it will go live on Google Play, the Apple App store and Amazon Fire. We’ve also got a desktop version that people will be able to play on the site!”

This was not the first time Sidney had seen the new game, of course, having been quite closely involved in its conception and development, being required to give approval for every variation of her cute, CGI avatar and recording the character’s dialogue. But, however, this was the first time she had had the opportunity to experience the finished game just as a member of the public would!

Holding the tablet in her hands, Sidney clicked on the game icon and watched excitedly as the loading screen counted up to 100% in front of a cartoon image of her trademark hat, changing colour every few seconds by means of a coloured dot with fuzzy edges appearing in the middle then spreading outwards. The game chimed an electronic rendition of “Yellow Rose of Texas” which she had unofficially adopted as her theme song, requesting it be played as she came on stage for talk shows and to introduce her before giving a speech. Before progressing to the game itself, she was prompted to either log in with a social media account or put in her name. She chose the latter option and was then prompted to pick a colour hat and boots. Wanting to defy expectation a little, she opted for purple. Moments later, a cartoon avatar of herself, or her public persona at least, appeared on the screen, grinning and waving dressed in nothing but the purple hat and boots.

“Well hey there, Sidney!” her own digitally cleaned-up voice welcomed her. “Hope you’re feeling hungry! Ready to have some fun?” It had taken several hours to record all the audio for the game. She remembered sitting in the small booth with headphones on and a large microphone close to her mouth, taking instructions from a sound engineer the other side of a glass window and reading from a computer screen. The set-up made it feel like a very surreal radio interview, and she had done plenty of those in her time! Early on in her campaign it had been a real struggle to convince people that she was serious about her goal and that this wasn’t some sort of prank or “gotcha” stunt to convince people to turn vegan! Recording the phrases such as the welcome, instructions and words of congratulations or commiseration had been straight-forward enough but the part that had taken the most time and had been the most intriguing from a technical point of view had been recording the names and ensuring that everyone who played could be greeted by their name, or whichever pseudonym they had chosen to type in.

First she had been presented with a list of whole names – the two hundred most popular in America and Europe according to latest census data. There were a few that she had stumbled over and needed help with the pronunciation but the most challenging aspect had been not changing her voice as she read down the list, putting as close as possible the same inflection on every name so that they could be dropped into the other pre-recorded sentences by the game’s algorithm. Next, she had been asked to read hundreds of one-syllable sounds which came out as total gibberish but which, she was assured, would allow the game to piece together any name entered by a player. It would not sound quite as smooth as the whole names that she had recorded in full but it would at least allow her avatar to greet every player with a pretty close approximation of their name. Sitting in the tiny booth for so long making random noises made her start to feel as if she had slipped into some strange other world like Alice of Wonderland fame so was relieved to have a chat with the engineer afterwards while he checked the recordings.

Of course, despite her plan not to live too many more years, she still had to fit her campaigning and any work she did to support it around her education but fortunately her school, Greenhill, probably thanks in no small part to her father’s donations and other financial support, had been very flexible when she had to take some time on the road, allowing her to access lessons remotely via Zoom and hand in her assignments via email. It was a matter of pride and honour for Sidney to keep her grades up as she felt it underlined the strength of her desire to become food and avoid mutterings that she was just looking for a way out since she would never amount to anything on her own merit. She hoped that demonstrating her intelligence and academic prowess would help the public to accept being meat as a legitimate life choice for girl of any background or status, rather than becoming a last resort for girls with no other paths open to them, or for more gifted girls to have their ambitions in that direction derided as a waste.

Now the game itself began – a puzzle level to earn points which could be redeemed towards the overall goal. This level was essentially a Candy Crush clone, with glittering rhinestones in place of the various candies, meant to represent those which adorned her hat and boots. After three rounds, the screen returned to the Sidney avatar, stood in a kitchen.

“Well done!” cooed the naked cartoon, “You’ve earned yourself a snack! Or will you keep your appetite for something bigger?” Sidney clicked on the “Show me the menu” button and a translucent card unfolded in the middle of the screen showing line-drawings of her body with meat-cuts marked with dotted lines, the cuts to which she was entitled with her current amount of points glowing green. Right now she could choose one foot or a strip of belly. She opted to play on. Had she chosen a meat-cut, she knew, she would then get to choose how it was prepared and then it would be presented to her, cooked, and said cut would then be missing for a time from the avatar, replaced with a red space to imply that the meat had been cut from her without being too gory. The objective of the game was, unsurprisingly, to get her all eaten up but the better the cut, the more points they required to claim, and if players took too long over it, trying to claim small piece after small piece, they would find that she regenerated or regrew those cuts after a certain amount of time, undoing their progress.

The trick was to save up enough points and play quickly enough to claim the large or prestigious cuts such as rump and thighs, fillet and nipples, encouraging players to keep going with the puzzle levels. Of course, if they were frugal with their points and reached the maximum number collectable without having harvested any of Sidney’s meat, they could have her whole-roasted, either on a spit or in the oven, winning the game in spectacular fashion! “Good choice!” Sidney heard her own voice congratulate her as she pressed “Play On” instead of selecting some meat. “Let’s play!” The screen briefly showed the cartoon Sidney blowing a kiss before the next game loaded, a simple matching puzzle.

“Did we get this cleared by Legal by the way?” Sidney turned to Martha. The whole campaign walked a tricky legal tight-rope, she knew, since practically all the publicity featured her, a preteen girl, in the nude. Her legal team had delved deeply into the precise letter of the law when it came to such depictions and worked out exactly what would and would not be legally acceptable. Nude photographs of children were not automatically illegal, but would become so if they depicted a provocative pose or suggested a sexual situation. Close-ups of her plump, bald pussy were also not allowed, which she thought was a shame as she considered that particular part of her body quite cute and very appetising! The game had risked falling foul of the ultra-strict laws in the UK and parts of Europe which prohibited drawings or animations of minors which could be considered sexually provocative, especially with the, admittedly comically and cartoonish, way the avatar flirted cheekily with the player.

“We managed to get it classified as educational!” Martha grinned proudly.

“Well that seems a bit of a stretch but whatever works, I guess!” Sidney laughed, trying to remember the pattern of digital cards showing things like her boots, her hat and various cuts of her meat cooked and served, graphics recycled from other parts of the game, to match them with their counterparts on the opposite side. A knock on the door distracted her and she looked up to see who it was.

Standing the other side of the door, smiling a little nervously, was Logan, one of the newest members of the team, only nineteen years old and basically a gopher for everyone else, but he was shy and sweet and Sidney liked him. He appeared to be holding a large cardboard box, balancing it awkwardly against the door. She smiled and waved for him to come on, setting down the tablet and swinging her legs onto the floor as she did so to appear a little more professional.

“Sorry for interrupting, Miss Roe…” he caught himself, noticing her slightly raised eyebrow, “Sidney!” he grinned sheepishly. “But the samples have come from Mattel. I thought you’d like to see right away?”

“Ooh yes!” Sidney leaned forward excitedly. “Pop that box down here,” she patted the table, “and let’s take a look! Please!” she smiled, shifting a little closer to Martha to make room for him, “Sit down and join us, I bet you’d like to see too?”

“Thank you,” he smiled anxiously, “but there’s things I’m supposed to be…”

“And your boss says you’re to leave those for now and come sit!” Sidney teased a little forcefully, patting the sofa beside her. A little nervously, the boy sat down and set the box on the table in front of him. “See? That wasn’t so difficult now, was it?” She stuck her tongue out at him. “Want a Coke or something?”

“Oh I’ll get…” he started to stand up once more and was corrected by her hand on his shoulder, firmly pushing him back down. Sidney tutted, shaking her head as she stood and walked to the vending machine.

“Souther hospitality!” Martha explained in a whisper, chuckling slightly at her junior colleague’s obvious discomfort. “Best just to go with it!”

“So what will it be?” Sidney called over, leaning on the glowing red machine with her arms folded and legs casually crossed in front of each other. Her hair in its ponytail was mostly dry now from her post-shower workout and she could feel like it needed brushing but was far more interested in seeing what was in the box than with fine-tuning her appearance. That was for the team to worry about before her television appearance that evening! It was strange but also somehow liberating to think that everyone she might come into contact with, pretty much anyone in the country if not the rest of the world, had already seen her nude. Pretty much impossible to embarrass yourself under such circumstances and meant she didn’t have to worry much about paparazzi if she decided not to bother with a suit in the outdoor or rooftop pools her family’s various properties, or enjoying the private beach by one of their beach-houses.

“Um, I’ll take a regular Coke, please!” Logan smiled. “Full-sugar!”

“Good man!” Sidney nodded, hitting the button twice to get another for herself too. Sugary sodas really were her big weakness! “See?” she teased Martha as she handed Logan his can and plopped back down onto the sofa between them. “Some people know how to order a proper drink!” Martha just chuckled, well used to her young employer’s ribbing over her beverage preferences.

Noticing how many custom outfits for their existing dolls were being sold online, on sites like Etsy and eBay, the famous toy manufacturer had reached out to Sidney and her team seeking a license to produce official Sidney-inspired dolls. Sidney had agreed with enthusiasm on the condition that she be allowed to sign off on each one and have the chance to inspect any prototypes before giving the go-ahead for them to enter manufacture. It may be an entirely manufactured image, after all, but it was still hers and she felt like she had a right to feel protective over it.

Excitedly, she tore off the ring-pull of her first, now empty, can and used it to slice through the tape holding the box shut. There were scissors on her desk, of course, but that would have involved getting up after she had just sat back down! She opened the flaps of box and moved the eco-friendly packing-paper aside, as excited as she could remember having been on any Christmas morning, and reach inside to take out the first prototype. All the toys were complete and in a mock-up of their final packaging, only missing bar-codes and the small-print which confirmed which safety regulations they complied with. Aside from those things, Sidney had been assured that what they were sending her was what would appear on store shelves or be available to order online.

The first box she pulled out was large and square, the doll inside, visible behind the plastic window, was large, close to eighteen inches tall, and similar in scale and proportions to the revived Sidney Doll range of five or six years earlier. The doll was mostly nude, of course, and technically anatomically correct although with minimal detailing, the pussy no more than a shallow indentation between the legs and the nipples simple bumps, picked out with pink paint. Her hair was a curly golden mane and her lips a dark, shiny pink. Her only clothes were a miniature, heavily simplified interpretation of Sidney’s trademark hat and boots in pink. To fit her into the box, the hat was positioned behind her head, giving her the slightly amusing appearance of having a pink halo. Otherwise the doll was largely what she would have expected for the target age-group, good and solid with minimal articulation. What made this doll special, however, was that it came with a hat and set of boots that the owner could wear to match her doll. Sidney costumes had been popular for a while now, for children and adults alike, and she thought it was quite a clever idea to package one in with this doll!

Although eager to take the toy out for a closer look, she first turned the box around in her hands to check out the packaging. The front was pale pink with white and silver sparkles or stars sweeping across it and the logo agreed for her campaign, her swirly signature with a heart over the “i” featured prominently across the bottom, beneath the clear window. In one corner was a head-and-shoulders photograph of a happy-looking girl of six or seven, blonde hair in two long bunches, wearing the included pink hat and hugging the doll. Although her nipples were not visible, it was clear that she was at least topless. The top of the box bore the signature again and the start of the window, the same pink and white starburst design as the front. This motif was also carried over onto the sides with the right having a series of five circles, spaced out along its length, with a different colour hat and boots shown in each one. The pink set was in the middle, above it were blue and white, beneath it yellow and purple, indicating that these other colours were also available. Since they were all clearly the same picture, digitally altered, Sidney wondered if the same applied to the other photographs showing the girl and the doll, whether they would also depict different colours of accessories depending on what was in the box.

The left hand side of the box had two full-length photos of the doll, posed as well as she could be, with one showing her from the front and the other from the back, hat on and her head turned slightly as if she was looking over her shoulder. While she didn’t really feel like the doll did her figure justice, as bottoms went, she’d seen worse! The back of the box featured very strategically composed pictures of the same young model from the front, presumably meant to reflect the target age-group, playing with the doll. She was clearly completely nude other than the included boots and hat but a partial shot of her bare bottom was as much as could be seen. Towards the bottom of the box, she was shown sat on the floor with the doll stood facing her, with her holding the doll’s hands. Above this was a list of the toy’s features and description of what exactly was in the box then beside this list was the same shot used on the front, although not so cropped so that in this version it showed the whole doll and the girl as low as below her belly-button. The picture at the top show a full-length side-view of the girl as she lay on her tummy, arms folded under her chin and feet kicked up to show off the boots, admiring her doll which stood on the floor in front of her.

As she looked at the photos, Sidney couldn’t help wondering how much persuading it had taken for the girl’s parents to allow her to pose in that way, with all the connotations that dressing as the famous would-be meat-girl would imply, and whether the cute young model herself had any ideas of following Sidney’s path if the opportunity should ever become available to her? She thought about how much cultural impact her campaign was already having, with nudity, especially that of young girls, becoming far more common-place and accepted. She was sure that her popularity as a Halloween or party costume was in no small part down to the simplicity of recreating her signature look and the relief for parents not having to worry about the durability of a costume and how or even if it might be cleaned afterwards! Long gone were the days that television channels had insisted she at least wear a bikini to be interviewed or otherwise blurred out her “rude parts” before broadcast. Her argument from the start had been that pigs, cows and other meat-animals don’t wear clothes or cover their meat so why should a girl who wanted to be considered their equal be any different?

Discretely, as was her talent, Martha stood and fetched the scissors from Sidney’s desk and handed them to her without a word. Sidney accepted them with a smile and turned the box on its side. Satisfied with the packaging, she now wanted to see the toy itself. She snipped the clear sticker holding the side of the box closed, opened it and slid out the inner cardboard tray, decorated once more with the pink-with-white-sparkles design used on the outside. There were thin elastic ties holding everything in place and she carefully snipped them, from the back where possible but otherwise taking incredible care not to cut the doll’s hair or nick the costume pieces.

Once it was released, she took out the doll, set its plastic hat on top of its head and stood it on the table. It was pretty much what she’d expected, a nice sturdy doll that a sweet younger girl who had outgrown baby-dolls could enjoy and relate to, as she had with the entire Disney Animator’s collection which was of a similar size, although scaled differently, and still occupied a shelf the length of one entire wall in her bedroom at the family’s main home. A quick experiment confirmed that the boots could, in fact, be taken off which pleased her as there was nothing she had found more annoying on a doll as a little girl than moulded on clothes, shoes, gloves or accessories which could not be removed! There were no big surprises but no issues either and she was happy to sign off on it. The hat, likewise, was of decent quality although quite simple, made from thin foam topped with a slightly metallic pink then decorated with stuck-on plastic jewels and silver sequins. It was very similar, in fact, to the ones sold as part of the cheapest licensed costume. Giggling, she tried putting it on then instead transferred it to Logan’s head where it sat awkwardly, almost as awkwardly as Logan himself!

“There!” she grinned. “Very pretty! It suits you!” The young man blushed a little but smiled and nodded. Next she turned her attention to the boots. They were of quite an intriguing design, presumably to enable them to fit as broad a size-range of young feet as possible. Rather than actual shoes or boot-style shoe-covers like were provided with the basic costume the hat reminded her of, these “boots” were really socks with non-slip rubber paint on the bottom with the upper part made from the same covered foam as the hat, cut to resemble her cowboy boots, and decorated in much the same way as the hat. To allow for expansion, the foam “sleeve” of the boot was open at the back with the sock beneath it and short lengths of thick elastic joining the two halves. The age-range suggested for the toy on the box was four to eight years old and Sidney supposed that most girls within that range would be able to wear and enjoy these faux boots, albeit only in the house! Intrigued, she crossed her left leg onto her lap and forced the costume piece onto her bare foot. It was incredibly tight and far from comfortable but she was able to get it on without tearing!

“What do you think?” she waved it in Martha’s direction, wiggling her toes under the thin, lycra sock. “Maybe I should wear these on TV tonight?” Martha chuckled and rolled her eyes, well used to Sidney’s humour, as the young girl peeled the pink foot-covering off and set it aside before turning her attention back to the big brown box. Logan, still wearing the hat, was quietly pleased that she did not ask him to put the boots on to match!

Next out were three play-sets that Sidney her self had taken a hand in designing, meaning that she was extra excited to see these. She stacked the boxes on top of each other to admire the sets. Each one was a cooking-themed diorama with two action figures, one about four inches tall and depicting Sidney but each in a different coloured hat and boots – pink, white and blue, and the other an adult figure about six inches tall, different in each set. While all the Sidneys used the same head-sculpt, with a hatless head and bootless feet included and interchangeable, the bodies were very different depending what the set depicted. Although they had been developed separately, Sidney thought that the action figures depicting her looked quite a lot like her cartoon avatar on the app game.

“Those look pretty cool!” Logan exclaimed, picking up the top set which looked like a butcher’s shop, complete with jovial, fat, moustachioed butcher in a blue and white striped apron. The branding on the box was similar to the larger doll, with the predominantly pink packaging and swirly gold name but instead of a modestly covered model on the front, the lower right-hand corner of this box had a photo of Sidney in all her topless glory, touching the brim of her hat and grinning out at the viewer. The left-hand end of the quite long box showed the two included action figures with Sidney’s alternate head and feet shown next to her and the butcher’s alternate hands and various tools of his trade next to him. Sidney had been very particular about the fact that he be depicted as friendly and appealing rather than in any way scary. The right-hand end of the box showed the other two play-sets in the range. The large picture on the back, against a white background, showed the diorama set up and in play, showing the naked Sidney figure laying on the butcher’s slab with her arms and legs hanging from chains behind the butcher who stood over her with a cartoonishly over-sized cleaver.

“Don’t they?” Sidney beamed in agreement. “Get that one out if you like!” She picked up the next one and handed it to Martha. “You do this one,” she explained as she reached for the third and final set, “and I’ll do this one!” For a while, nobody spoke as they unpacked and set up their play-sets. Martha’s showed a cosy kitchen, almost like something out of a fairy tale, with a very large oven. The adult figure in that set was a round-bellied chef in white tunic and checked trousers with a tall white hat. In Sidney’s box there was a spit, a frame for it to rest on and a transparent orange plastic camp fire. While the floor section, complete with pegs for the figures, of Martha’s replicated a flag-stoned floor and Logan’s butcher’s shop had black and white square tiles, the set that Sidney was assembling had a base that looked like grass, with some leaf-shapes visible in the sculpted detailing although not picked out by paint, other than the brown wash over the green plastic which helped to show some details. There were grey rocks around the edge of the fire, marking its boundary, and peg holes for the spit posts to clip into.

The final adult figure, the one from Sidney’s set, was a woman this time, dressed in khaki shorts and jacket with her hair in a bun, round glasses and a kerchief around her neck. Sidney had deliberately wanted her identity left a little ambiguous – was she an explorer? A scout-leader? Or just someone out for a hike in need of a tasty evening meal? Each set had a card which slotted into the back of the diorama to provide a background and a little booklet explaining the action features. When all three were set up, Sidney took it upon herself to explain each in turn.

“Okay, so the butcher one first!” she picked up the Sidney figure and showed the chains which hung from a plastic girder along the back. Each chain had a large hook on the end but on the bottom of each hook was a smooth, shiny metal disc. Gripping her miniature self between thumb and forefinger, Sidney proceeded to pull off the figure’s arms and legs and then to pull each of these in two. “Magnets!” she explained, showing the red ends of the “cut” pieces where they connected to each other. “I wanted it to go into smaller pieces but they said that wouldn’t be safe, or they’d have to market the toy for adults only, which would have been a pity. And look!” She set the torso, head still attached, on the slab then held each piece close to a hook, allowing the magnet to engage. “Pretty cool, huh?” she grinned. “Now, this one...” she turned to the kitchen set and picked up the Sidney figure and noted with approval that Martha had swapped out the head and feet so this figure was properly naked and ready to cook. Despite their stylised appearance, these Sidney figures were also, nominally at least, anatomically correct and Martha wondered what impact this might have on the toy industry as a whole. This mini Sidney had many points of articulation and Sidney was able to pose it like a turkey, on its back with feet together and knees splayed, arms folded back like wings. She opened the oven door and took out the big roasting pan then set it on the table of the diorama, next to the basket of vegetables. Grinning cheerfully, she set the Sidney figure into the pan then put some of the colourful vegetables around her. “Oh, if you prefer…” She picked up the figure again and began to manipulate the limbs once more until its arms and legs were tucked up underneath and the figure was able to crouch in the pan, head down and rump sticking up. Sidney then slide the plastic figure into the oven and closed the door.

“So what does that one do?” Logan asked, pointing to the camping diorama that Sidney herself had set up. He finished his Coke and looked around for a bin to deposit the empty can. Martha took it from him wordlessly and, with practised expertise, tossed it into the recycling bin beside the desk. From the clinking, rattling sounds it made as it landed, the bin was already far from empty!

“Oh well this one is the coolest!” Sidney grinned, picking up her pocket-sized effigy and the spit. Parting the legs of the figure, she showed the small circular hole. She then tilted the figure’s head back and pushed it down slightly, until the was an audible click and the mouth popped open. Then she took the long spit and pushed it into the hole then kept pushing until it the tip emerged from the mouth. She then slipped cuff-like grips onto either end and clipped the wrists and ankles in place, stretched out in front and behind. “There we go!” she grinned as she dropped the spitted figure onto the mounts, ready to cook over the plastic camp-fire. “So?” she turned to others. “What do you think?”

“I think I know what’s going to be on a lot of Christmas lists this year!” Logan enthused. “But I’m afraid I really do have to be getting back to work now, I promised Deborah I’d…” Sidney opened her mouth to protest but Martha put a cautionary hand on her leg.

“That’s okay.” she smiled at the office junior. “Go get your work done.” With an apologetic smile, Logan got up and retreated from the office.

“Thanks for bringing the box!” Sidney called after him. “Come back later and see the rest of the toys, huh?” Logan gave her another polite smile and wave then closed the door behind him.

“You like him, eh?” Martha smiled gently. Sidney had never known her mum who had died giving birth to her and Martha couldn’t help feeling a little protective and maternal towards her.

“No!” Sidney exclaimed immediately, her tone and posture defensive. “Well, yeah I like him, he’s a nice guy, but not… you know!”

“Okay!” Martha chuckled warmly. She knew it was possible she had misread the situation – Sidney had grown up with older brothers of course so was well used to the company of young men but, woman to woman, she was sure that she had seen something in the way the confident young girl looked at the shy assistant and she was pretty sure she was not wrong. “Whatever you say!” She couldn’t resist this little teasing caveat, which was met by Sidney’s stuck-out tongue. “Let’s take a look at the rest of the dolls, then you can give the nod for the game, or not of course if there’s still things you want changing, but I don’t think there will be, then we can start running through things for tonight.”

The next package was probably the most intriguing of the lot – it was a doll in a special hard plastic case, posed as much as the minimal articulation would allow and clearly intended to be displayed within its packaging – a collector’s figure rather than a toy. Around the plastic case was a cardboard sleeve, held on with little clear stickers on the bottom. Sidney carefully snipped through these and slid it off to take a closer look at the artwork. The bottom right-hand corner had a cut-out of the same picture of Sidney’s upper half as was on the box of the action figures. The bottom and sides of this sleeve had the same background design as all the other toys in this range but her signature was depicted in large gold letters against a black background, the rectangle framed with more gold, at the top of the box, giving the packaging a more mature, classy look. Along the bottom, next to the photo of Sidney, was the text that explained what made this doll special and why the box also sported Barbie branding both above Sidney’s name-box, in smaller letters so as not to distract, and on both sides as well as the generic Mattel logo. The text along the bottom, in its own black, gold-rimmed box but with white writing this time read:

“Barbie’s Little Sister Stacie
Sidney Roebuck 12th Birthday Celebration
SPECIAL LIMITED EDITION”

Instead of a doll actually intended to depict Sidney herself, this was a tribute depicting their own established character in Sidney cosplay! This was a common occurrence for special occasions of course, usually significant pop-culture anniversaries. Such sets in the past had depicted Barbie and Ken in Star Trek uniforms, or as Morticia and Gomez Addams, or Barbie alone dressed as famous movie stars or wearing dresses designed by top fashion designers, full-size versions of which graced the catwalks of Paris and Milan that same year. But this figure was special for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, it was the first time that Stacie, very much a secondary character behind her more famous sister and her totally-not-gay best friend, had been used for such a tribute. Mattel had originally approached Sidney and her team with the idea of releasing a tribute Barbie but she was always depicted as a young adult, busty and with legs for days, in contrast to Sidney’s attractive and toned but frankly boyish figure. While she had no objection to adults dressing like her, as she knew many did for parties, and she welcomed their support for her campaign, her campaign was very much for girls like herself and she wanted any associated merchandise to reflect that – when a young girl looked at a Sidney doll, figure or statue, she needed to be able to see herself, not who she might become in ten to fifteen years. After all, Sidney had no intention of ever reaching adulthood and would have to write her mission off as a failure if she ever got to the point of looking like a typical Barbie doll! When she had raised this concern with the design team at Mattel, they had taken her concerns on board and come back with the proposal of using one of Barbie’s sisters instead.