I never looked it, but I was very much a slutty girl. I often dressed in sweaters that concealed my curves and reached up to my neck and trousers, but I probably beat even most boys to the punch when it came to watching porn, starting at the tender age of 10. I had good grades, but most of the time I spent 'studying' in my room was spent watching porn, and masturbating. Looking back, I was already leaning towards being submissive, as the porn I watched was rough and violent.

My first boyfriend was very sweet, and I was the one to take initiative. He was just too shy to do it. We never actually had sex though. My parents were quite conservative, and it's harder to go against your upbringing that you'd think. But like many christian raised galls, I used the loop hole of 'oral sex doesn't count', silly as it was. I like to think I'm quite good at it, and enjoy doing it. It's strangely cute to have a guy come all over your face when you give him your best puppy eyes.

Unfortunately, it didn't end well and we were caught by my parents, and the relationship ended. It also cooled my relationship with my parents considerably, and I think both of us were glad when I could move out of the house to college. In the beginning they still called, though not that often, but it didn't take long for this to come to a complete halt, especially when they caught wind of me having a new boyfriend. It didn't bother me and I didn't dwell on it, I just enjoyed my newfound freedom.

In retrospect, my second boyfriend, Greg, was probably an unconcious rebellion on my part against my parents, as he was quite the bad boy. Or well, to my standards anyway. We often watched porn while we fucked, and he quickly caught on to the fact that I liked rough porn, and especially choking porn. He would also often choke me when we fucked, something I really loved doing. Orgasms are just soooo much more intense that way. One time, he told me he had a special porn video, and we watched it as he choked and fucked me. This video seemed much rougher and intense that the porn videos I'd seen on streaming sites till now, and I was hit with an earth shattering orgasm when I realized the woman in the video wasn't just being choked, but being choked to death. I didn't have air left to moan, but I mewed like a kitten.

I also still enjoyed giving oral sex, and Greg certainly didn't mind. The oral sex was often me giving him blowjobs and deepthroating him, or him throat fucking me if he was feeling like it. I think most girls wouldn't enjoy it, but I liked the discomfort, the choking feeling, drooling like a madman, and the feel of being dominated.

It all ended when Greg cheated on me. I never learned her name, but I had seen her in the distance when I'd stalked Greg when he 'went to visit a pal of his'. The idiot must not have realized that I'd catch on if he showered every time at 'his palls place'. She knew how to dress and she wasn't shy either. The deep v neck in her jumper showed plenty. I guess that was what the appeal was to Greg. I ended things the next day.

Sure, I was a little sad, but that was quickly fixed with ice cream, rom coms, and taking a random guy home from the bar every weekend. About a month later, I was my same old self again. Even so, I did kinda miss Greg. Oh, not because of his personality, I was over that by now, but because most of the guys I brought over were just... too carefull. They were either hesitant to choke me at all, or were too soft about it. In response, I'd started watching lots of choking porn again, but at some point, I grew a little bored of those. It was then that I remembered the video where the woman was choked to death and how hard it'd made me cum. I had to scour the web, but I did find some other videos where women were killed during sex, but they were rare, and I never found the video Greg had shown me. I knew it was sick and abnormal, but those videos made me cum like crazy.

Because videos were so rare, I started hanging around sites that shared cartoons, art and stories of women being killed, or 'snuffed'. I masturbated myself silly and fantasized a lot about how it'd feel to be snuffed like that. Purely a fantasy off course. No harm no foul.

I also spent a lot of time on chatsites. These were special chatsites, that used end to end encryption and didn't save any sort of logs, where I talked to contacts from the sites with snuff porn on them. I did a lot of roleplaying, and it always resulted in great orgasms. I fantasized about being snuffed more and more, and it didn't take long for it to be the only thing I fantasized about. Maybe I should have realized at that point that it was becoming more than just a fantasy, but I didn't.

About a week later, I had just finished role playing with one of my regular contacts, when he made a suggestion.

<NotSoInnocentGal> You're so good at this! I really like roleplaying with you here!
<DarkSicko> Same here! Really glad you like it! And it's also cause of you that we can do this, without a partner, I'd just be wanking by my lonesome ;-)
<NotSoInnocentGal> Haha, thanks :-)
<DarkSicko> By the way, I had a bit of a suggestion. I really like our sessions here, but what would you think of roleplaying using videocall, or irl? You don't have to, if you want to just keep it here that's fine.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Oh ehm. Let me think for a sec?
<DarkSicko> Yeah sure, take your time! Sorry for jumping this on you.

I mulled it over in my head. Videocalling was a no for me. It didn't really add that much over roleplaying over the chat, and it did add a lot of risk. It's not impossible to deduce someone's location that way. Meeting real life was even more risky off course, but I did really miss the choking sex. Proper choking sex, not the soft shit the guys from the bar did. I felt myself getting wet thinking about it.

<NotSoInnocentGal> I dunno... camming is a no for me, but... irl.. maybe?
<DarkSicko> I understand babe. Take all the time you need to think it over.
<NotSoInnocentGal> If I did come, would you choke me daddy ;-)
<DarkSicko> Hmmmmmm, sure I'd choke you. I'd start slowly.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Booooring.
<DarkSicko> Then I'd increase the pressure. Slowly choking off your air supply.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Go on.
<DarkSicko> You can still breathe, but you feel less air getting in with each breath.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Oh god yes, go on.
<DarkSicko> As you feel your orgasm starting to build, you feel your breath being cutt off completly.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Fuck yes, keep choking me!
<DarkSicko> Then, just as you're about to pass out, you feel your orgasm hitting, and sweet precious air getting into your lungs.

At this point, I was once again masturbating, using my vibrator at it's maximum setting. I turned it off for a moment to type.

<NotSoInnocentGal> Maybe I really do need to visit ;-)
<DarkSicko> I hope you will, but no pressure, and we only do what you want, you are the one in control here.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Just a sec, my pussy needs some attention ;-)
* DarkSicko is typing with one hand

I turned the vibrator back to it's maximum setting and fantasized about being choked like that. I felt an orgasm building, when suddenly, the image of the woman that'd been choked to death hit me. When it did, I almost came and I quickly turned off my vibe.

<NotSoInnocentGal> If I did come...
<DarkSicko> Yes?
<NotSoInnocentGal> If I asked... would you...
<DarkSicko> ?

I wondered for a moment... was I really gonna ask a stranger online to choke me? Choke me to death? But my body betrayed me... I almost orgasmed at the thought of it. I gathered my courage and typed:

<NotSoInnocentGal> Would you choke me all the way if I asked?
<DarkSicko> All the way? Do you mean... ?
<NotSoInnocentGal> Yah, I mean choke me till I'm dead.
<DarkSicko> ... are you testing me?
<NotSoInnocentGal> No, I'm not.
<DarkSicko> You mean you want to do it for real? Get snuffed I mean?

I actually came when he typed that, but my mind was saying no at the same time. After recovering for a bit, I typed my reply.

<NotSoInnocentGal> I don't know actually. Maybe. It's always been a huge fantasy of mine. Always makes me cum like crazy.
<DarkSicko> I mean sure yeah, I get that. Fantasizing about it always gets me the best orgasms. And I completly okay with roleplaying that, be it here or irl.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Yeah, irl roleplaying does seem like fun. I was just fantasizing a bit.

I imagined doing the roleplaying for a bit but it just... didn't get me going. It dwindled my sexual high. But when I imagined going there to be snuffed, for real, I almost jammed in my vibe. I came, hard and shaking over my entire body. I looked to my screen again and read his message.

<DarkSicko> Glad you like the idea. Wasn't sure you would.

I gathered my courage one final time.

<NotSoInnocentGal> I just came so HARD imagining it.
<NotSoInnocentGal> But ehm, maybe my fantasy is a little more powerfull than I let on. Cause I didn't cum to the idea of roleplaying irl... but being snuffed irl.
<NotSoInnocentGal> So if I asked you... would you? Make me into a corpse?
<DarkSicko> You really are testing me, aren't you?
<NotSoInnocentGal> No I'm not.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Please tell me.
<DarkSicko> Fuck, really?
<NotSoInnocentGal> Yes
<DarkSicko> I mean, fuck, the idea has me harder than I've ever been.
<DarkSicko> I mean, it's also a big fantasy of mine to snuff somebody like that. But like I said, I'm fine with just rp.
<DarkSicko> But if you are really really sure... doing it for real would be insanely exciting. The idea itself is almost enough to make me cum.
<NotSoInnocentGal> It wasn't enough to almost make me cum, I actually came to it :P
<NotSoInnocentGal> So if I asked, you'd choke me all the way? Snuff the fuck out of me? Take my breath away till the lights go out for good? Turn me into a corpse?
<DarkSicko> Fuck yes.
<DarkSicko> But I don't wanna do it unless you're really sure. If it's just a fantasy, it should stay that way.
<DarkSicko> And we'd need to plan it carefully. How to not leave traces, what to do with your body etc.
<NotSoInnocentGal> My body? You mean my corpse?
<NotSoInnocentGal> That one is easy, you fuck it off course :P
<DarkSicko> You know what I mean.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Would you though?
<DarkSicko> Fuck your corpse you mean?
<NotSoInnocentGal> Yah
<DarkSicko> Dang, that would be hot
<NotSoInnocentGal> :-)
<DarkSicko> I gotta go in a bit
<DarkSicko> You know what
<DarkSicko> We do it like this
<DarkSicko> The next vacation is about four weeks away now
<DarkSicko> If by then you decide you just wanna rp, you let a friend know where you're going and we just rp
<DarkSicko> But if you decide you wanna do it for real... then you don't tell anybody and get here without leaving traces
<DarkSicko> If you change your mind when you're here: all good, we just rp.
<DarkSicko> But if you decide you wanna do it for real... well, I can't pretend the idea of really snuffing somebody excites me.
<NotSoInnocentGal> :-)

We ended our conversation soon after. I slept badly that night, alternating between jolting awake, terrified by my own fantasy and my heart beating in my chest, and masturbating furiously. The masturbation often came right after jolting awake, when I imagined being snuffed. As a matter of fact, I slept badly that entire week. But as the week progressed, I found myself jolting awake less, and more often waking up after dreaming of being snuffed with drenched panties.

But really, I had already decided what I'd wanted to do that conversation. The rest was just coming to terms with the fact that I was really gonna go through with it. That I was really going to have myself choked. Not till the point of fainting, but choked all the way. Choked to death like the woman in the video. Volunteering in fact, to be choked like that, to be killed, to be murdered, to be snuffed.

After that week of... adjustment, we spent time planning. How to travel to his place without leaving trails etc. The other two weeks we spent roleplaying online. I made very sure to work him up as best I could. I wanted to have him raring to go, raring to snuff me when I finally did visit, and not to change his mind. After all, I was raring to be snuffed myself.