Today was just no good. No good at all. I'd been trying to work my way through this chapter for over three hours now, but I just wasn't getting anywhere. I'd read the same paragraph over how many times now? I did progress a little - there were some short moments where I managed to get myself together long enough to progress a paragraph, only to instantly lose my attention again in the next. My total progress was less than half a page.

In my defense, the topic was boring as hell. Sure, the Second Law of Thermodynamics is perhaps one of the most important concepts in all of science. I had no trouble understanding the concept, which basically boils down to the fact that energy will never move from low to high, which in turns means that if you put two objects, one hot and one cold, into an enclosed space, they will eventually reach equilibrium. A bit oversimplified perhaps, but that's the gist of it.

But instead of spending perhaps one, maybe two paragraphs on the concept, the book had decided to dedicate an entire chapter to it. With little gems like this: "A cyclic transformation whose only final result is to transform heat extracted from a source which is at the same temperature throughout into work is impossible." It is literally the same thing, just more precise, fancier words, much harder to read, and way more boring. But in an exam, writing down "energy no move from cold to hot" just isn't gonna cut it, so here I was, working through the chapter at a snail's pace, trying to work my way through the convoluted wording and trying to remember it. Ugh.

So the little 'blip' sound from my browser was a very welcome distraction, and I immediately jumped into the chat. It was just a short break. Pinky swear.

<NotSoInnocentGal> Sup?
<Eva> Trying no to die of boredom with the Thermodynamics chapter I'm reading. Ugh.
<NotSoInnocentGal> That bad?
<Eva> Don't get me started, I swear to god I'll fill up AT LEAST three pages ranting about how stupid and absolutely useless this is.
<Eva> Not to mention a complete waste of time.
<Eva> I can actually feel my brain cells dying trying to work my way through this fucking !$#%$&!
<NotSoInnocentGal> Maybe take a short break?
<Eva> Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do, this is a complete waste of time anyway. So what's up with you?
<NotSoInnocentGal> Well, I actually only came here to let you know that I won't be on anymore.
<Eva> Ah right, you also have exams coming up right?
<NotSoInnocentGal> I do, but that's not what I meant. I meant I won't be on here anymore ever.

Having read that, I sat there, stunned for a bit. I'd always gotten along great with NSIG - she was my best buddy on the site and probably one of the few female members (assuming she actually was, but from my conversations, I didn't think she was faking it), so this felt like a slap in the face. The state of bored disinterest I'd been in gone in an instant, like it'd never even been there. What brought this on?

<Eva> What? WhY?!

I looked to the chat window, and I saw "NotSoInnocentGal is typing a message" appear, then dissapear a few times. I waited a bit but I also felt hurt, so I typed:

<Eva> I thought we were friends and that you enjoyed chatting here too. Can't we talk it over first?

Again, I saw "NotSoInnocentGal is typing a message appear", but this time, it didn't dissapear. After what felt like a long time, but was probably less than a minute, her response came.

<NotSoInnocentGal> I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make it seem like I was leaving because I don't like you! I *do* really enjoy our chats. That's why I didn't wanna leave without telling my bestie. I'll miss you <3

Reading that, I felt a little reliefed, but also very confused. Why would she be leaving then?

<Eva> So why *are* you leaving then? I don't get it. Even if you can't come on for a long time cause you're moving or whatever the fuck you can still come back on once that's done right?
<NotSoInnocentGal> No, that's not it, I just won't be able to come online anymore.
<Eva> Then what? Are you getting a job or something? Cause I understand not having much time, but it's not like you won't have any free time either right?
<NotSoInnocentGal> No no, that's not it either.
<Eva> You're not termally ill right? You never mentioned being ill or anything of the sort.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Ah no, I'm perfectly healthy.

At this point, I was feeling pretty pissed. It was perfectly clear to me what was going on. She'd lied about liking our chats, and was just trying to be polite about why she was leaving. I'd rather she tell me to my face.

<Eva> Ah ok. I see how it is. You just lied about liking our chats and just plan to ghost me. That's okay, but just be honest about it.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Like I said, I'm really not!!!!
<Eva> Ok, then why?

I looked at the screen and saw the "NotSoInnocentGal is typing a message" appear and dissappear quite a few times. But I wasn't gonna help her by typing something myself this time. I wonder what excuse she was gonna come up with. Finally, after what must have been at least five minutes, I heard another Blip and saw her reply.

<NotSoInnocentGal> Okay, I'll tell, but promise you keep it secret?

I felt a slight surge of annoyance at that, but maybe it was something really personal.

<Eva> You know I never tattle. Pinky swear I'll keep it a secret.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Alright.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Well uhm..
<NotSoInnocentGal> It's like this.

Again, I saw the typing message appear and dissapear, then after about a minute of that:

<NotSoInnocentGal> I've decided I'm gonna do it.

I rolled my eyes. This girl. She wasn't making any sense.

<Eva> You're not making sense. Decided to do what?
<NotSoInnocentGal> Get myself snuffed (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

I had to read that line three times before I was convinced I'd read it correctly.

<Eva> I mean like, really?
<NotSoInnocentGal> Yah, really
<Eva> Wow, I wasn't expecting that. I mean, sure, this is a chat for people that are into snuff porn, but I wasn't really expecting somebody actually doing it.
<Eva> So you're really doing it then?
<NotSoInnocentGal> Yeah, as soon as the vacation starts I'm gonna go 'camping' for three weeks.
<NotSoInnocentGal> But after the first week, I'll actually go to a meeting spot where he'll pick me up. And then he's gonna snuff me <3
<NotSoInnocentGal> I'm so excited, I can't think about anything else

I could relate, I felt myself get a little wet thinking about it.

<Eva> Who's he?
<NotSoInnocentGal> You know, DarkSicko.
<NotSoInnocentGal> He invited me to rp rl, but I asked him to snuff me instead.
<NotSoInnocentGal> I have it all planned out how to get to his place without leaving any trails.
<Eva> Aren't you afraid? You know, about really doing it? Actually dying?
<NotSoInnocentGal> Well, sure, when I'd just decided, I'd wake up drenched in sweat and my heart pounding.
<NotSoInnocentGal> But I'd always end up fantasizing about it right after.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Now I only wake up with drenched panties (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)
<Eva> Have you decided on how?
<NotSoInnocentGal> Well, you know I've always been into choking right?
<Eva> Yeah, kinda hard to miss. So he's choking you then?
<NotSoInnocentGal> Yah. Throatfucking, to be more precise. I told him how much I like giving bj's and throatfucking soooo
<Eva> You're such a degenerate.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Thanks :D
<NotSoInnocentGal> The last few days I've been doing nothing but fantisizing about it. It's been a fantasy for me for soooo long.

I also had a fantasy like that. For me, it was decapitation, the guillotine in particular. I've always been a bit of a gamer girl, watching all sorts of porn. Videos, stories, cartoons, hentai, furry, you name it. But my interest in snuff porn started when somebody, I don't remember where, had posted some sort of comic about a girl being fucked to death by a sextoy robot. I thought it pretty amusing, and found the site it'd originated from. I'd expected it to be a comic site having 'funny porn', but instead, it was a site filled with snuff stories, accompanied by drawings. I also found myself masturbating to those stories. And, like I said, it was especially the guillotine that I liked to fantasize about.

I imagined it for a moment, what it'd be like to actually go through my own fantasy. In most snuff porn concerning the guillotine, the victim would be facing down, toward the ground, maybe looking at a basket soon containing their decapitated head. I'd be facing upwards though, looking up at the blade, so I could fully experience the fear and terror of my oncoming death. Maybe somebody would be giving me a final fuck, or perhaps have a vibrator working at my pussy, or maybe I would just simple be using my fingers.

Either way, the very moment I'd reach orgasm, the blade would come crashing down. Fear and pleasure would mix together, creating a synergy elevating both of them, intensifying my orgasm. I'd be cumming as time would slow, dilluting time as I would see the blade moving towards me, moving to my neck, to end my life in a most brutal fashion. I'd be cumming harder than I ever had, revelling in the debauchery and depravity of the ultimate submissive fantasy, to end my life for mere sexual enjoyment. Having my final orgasm, and knowing it. I'd cry out in both fear and orgasm, only to have the blade cut it short as it shears through my neck. My heart would be desperately trying to pump to compensate the pressure drop, in an effort to provide my head with oxygen and other vital nutrients, causing my neck stump to create a beautiful, pulsating fountain of crimson. My body would thrash, and my pussy would clamp down on my fingers or vibrator, or, hopefully, it would be clamping down on the dick of my final partner, giving him the ultimate sexual stimulation a girl can give as a parting gift.

The fantasy had me masturbating and I felt a great orgasm building. I found myself wondering how much more intense it would be if it weren't just a fantasy. I came hard at the thought, and actually squirted a little - which is very rare for me. Then some blip sounds demanded my attention, and I realized I'd completely forgot about the chat.

<NotSoInnocentGal> The last few days I've been doing nothing but fantisizing about it. It's been a fantasy for me for soooo long.
<NotSoInnocentGal> I need it so baaaad.
<NotSoInnocentGal> So I've decided that I really wanna do it. I'm done with only masturbating to fantasies. I'll only be statisfied when I have the ultimate orgasm, as I feel my life fading while being choked to death.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Fuck, I so wanna masturbate but my pussy is still sore from before (>_<)
<NotSoInnocentGal> Eva?
<NotSoInnocentGal> Heeeeellllooo?
<NotSoInnocentGal> You still there gall?

I quickly typed a reply.

<Eva> Sorry, I was fantasizing myself a little and got... carried away.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Did you fantasize about getting snuffed?
<Eva> Mmmm yeah
<NotSoInnocentGal> Did you cum?
<Eva> I actually had a squirting orgasm :$
<NotSoInnocentGal> You came that hard?
<Eva> Yeah, real hard.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Hehehe.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Here's an idea: why don't you join me so we can both get snuffed?

I knew she was joking a little, but the idea had my pussy feeling a familiar itch, and it actually sounded quite attractive. A stray thought hit me that had me smiling: if I did, no need to worry about flunking the exam anymore.

<Eva> I don't know whether I should.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Or just come along for rp? You can rp your fantasy with ds, and watch me get snuffed after. Or rp after watching me get snuffed. Don't you think that'd be hot?
<Eva> ds?
<NotSoInnocentGal> DarkSicko.
<Eva> Oh.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Sooooooo?

That *did* sound really hot. I'd seen some snuff movies, and they'd always have me cum like crazy. But they'd often be victims of war crimes, or gang violence, but never willing victims. Seeing somebody that was wanting to be snuffed, even fantasizing about it, would be so much hotter. And it'd be seeing it real life, not some low quality recording. I felt a fire burning in my vagina thinking about it, but there was just one small problem.

<Eva> That does sound really tempting.
<NotSoInnocentGal> But?
<Eva> Well, if I do go...
<Eva> I don't think it'd end with just me rp.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Hmmmm
<NotSoInnocentGal> So basically, you're saying you won't be able to refrain yourself if you'd go?
<Eva> Yeah.
<NotSoInnocentGal> But then, doesn't that mean that that's what you actually want to do?

I wanted to reject her logic, but my nipples were hard of excitement, and my pussy was undeniably wet. When I tried imaging it, not just as a fantasy, I felt a small tinge of fear, but it was the same kind of fear that you'd feel when getting in a roller coaster. More than that, it had me feel excited and horny.

<Eva> It's kinda hard to deny that it excites me.
<NotSoInnocentGal> Just as fantasy, or do you want to make it into reality?

Oh god. Actually doing it. My vagina felt hot. My nipples were painfully hard and would send little butterflies to my pussy when the fabric of my clothes moved. I undeniably liked the idea.

<Eva> I guess I'd want to make it into reality.
<NotSoInnocentGal> So join me :-)
<Eva> Let me sleep on it a little, okay?
<NotSoInnocentGal> Sure, no need to rush. It's still a week before vacation after all.

In the end, it didn't take a week for me to decide. I contacted DarkSicko the next day, and after he'd made really sure, to the point of it being a little annoying, that I was actually serious about it, we discussed plans and practical details.