>>24860
Taking a dare is completely logical. Nothing in your stories is irrational or illogical unless you screw up something.
Yes in the real world that would be absurd to die for a such insignificant thing but I also agree that this is what makes it sexy. Same as when girl is being executed in school because she forgot her homework at home. Or hanging yourself in the classroom to do a funny prank on the teacher. Stupid reason is still reason. there is nothing idiotic in that.

Aoi likes not weird logic he dislikes any logic at all. I don't think you share his fetish You just don't even understand it as i also thought that I am into the same thing until He explained it
The best example story is where a girl asks her friend to use her own heart as a vibrator to make her cum (while it is obvious that she is going to die and will not cum from that and to make it clear that she is not masochist and not stupid it is not a prank she has lengthy conversation about her intentions and consequences where she knows that this behavior is absolutely counterproductive, but she does it anyway) I think that tory is the best Aoi achievement as it is absolutely impossible to justify that in any way no matter how you try. It just makes absolutely no logical sense of any kind. Ultimate form of stupidity performed on purpose.
And I am not complaining he can do whatever he wants. Just want to make sure you understand what i mean about idiotic story or irrationality fetish.
Also on very short stories it can work fine even for me and it can be admired on how one can even invent such thing where no explanation is possible which I actually not so easy.


You know that purpose of nonverbal communication is to be deliberately ambiguous where it is impossible to know for sure so it leaves possibility for different interpretations
as if a girl comes to the group of drunk guys in provoking clothing and flirts with them then they fuck her in all holes. Later she can still claim that she was raped even if it is obvious from her body language that she wanted that to happen.

I also like that nonverbal communication and ambiguity so you managed to appeal to me :)
although technically I think you were telling too much instead of showing it. like you said many times how she can escape anytime but this was unnecessary and If you need to explain that you could tell it using the mouths of her friends who are observing the situation rather than turning your audience into mind readers. as instead of her thinking how she could just tie her belt with one hand that could be said by one of her friends who observe her. And in general rather than describing anything as narrator it is better to use some other character in the story as narrator if possible.
For example in that place where you describe her being good swimmer it could be conversation between some friends who argue if she will even be able to die or just swim up instinctively. this way following the " show, dont tell" rule of good writing.
and yeah mentioning of someone chickening out was good technique :)

I think it looks sexier if that nonverbal communication is contradictory like tsundere character. as It can be made clear that the reason why Marie took that dare was because she wanted to die/suffer or whatever else and dare was rather just an excuse to get what she wants while at the same time pretending that she is being forced into it. Essentially she makes her friends for force her to do something she wants to do.
same as in the tsundere anime where the girl says "I have no choice" even if she does.
Now you sort of made it opposite where it looks like she got forced by her friends even if that forcing was very weak but still she is doing it not on her own initiative. (which is why I say that it is very slightly non consensual.)