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First thought when reading this story was if you use AI :)
as the style looks a bit familiar but not quite. AI just loves using -ly words that no human is usually using

But for me the problem with this story is that it is impossible to know what to expect which makes reading and understanding quite hard. It's good that you use show don't tell principle but you should give more hints about what is going to happen in the future. You need to read it 2 times to understand. It was never ending stream of surprises and unreasonable police behavior.

I guess if you continue this we will know better what to expect.

But the idea looks pretty interesting and I would like to see next part, which i guess is going to be pretty consensual.
Post number No.25292
Board Literature
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