“There’s no way you could hold your head after you die. Your muscles go slack when your spine is cut!”

“My cousin swore his friend did it when they beheaded her! Even kept standing a while!”

“See that’s complete bullshit right there.”

“I’ll prove it! Here. I’ll hold my head by my hair and you cut it off! Use the butcher knife so it’s fast and I don’t faint before it’s off.”

“This is the dumbest hill to literally die on.”

“Whatever. Do it, pussy!

*SCHWICK*

…

“Quit grinning! You fell! And having your hair twisted isn’t holding onto it!”