>>27435
Snakes getting into girls' stomachs wasn't exactly to my taste, but I love the idea of girls letting their pets live in their wombs, as well as the idea of girls raising pets with the end goal of those pets eating the girls. In terms of presentation the story feels a little bit like a retelling, distanced somewhat from the immediate events or character feelings in a moment, but it also lets to tell a story that spans a lot of time without turning it into a novel. I lack the ability to write like that, so in my story you'll never see "over the following weeks this and that happened, and then for another year things evolved gradually, and that's how we arrive at this next point". I guess my mosaic-thinking mind just can't seize such timespans and long slow progression. Still, I think this story could benefit from having maybe a side-story that would follow more closely and intimately one particular girl in more immediate and elaborate action, like tell about her day taking care of her snake, going to school, discussing with other girls how another one of them got eaten, wondering when she will finally get eaten, getting home and doing some everyday things while the snake is also involved somehow, and then by the end of the day the snake starts eating her, and it's described in detail, not just the physics of the process, but the girls emotions about it, maybe her family that we come to know throughout the story comes to watch and congratulate her, etc. That sort of thing is what I feel is lacking from this story. But aside from that it was great.