When he returned from his outing in the early evening, Josh found Samantha and Laura to be behaving perfectly normally again with none of the secrecy or performative cheerfulness of the morning. He had enjoyed his day with his old friends, answering their polite questions about his family in general terms, opting not to tell them about the plans for Christmas although he could not honestly have answered the question to himself as to whether this was because he feared their judgement or because he was afraid they would all expect or even demand invitations for themselves and their families. Either way, it had seemed for the moment at least to be something private, intimate, to be kept within his own immediate family. As he hung up his coat and tossed his keys into the bowl by the door, he saw that Samantha was sat on the sofa, her legs curled underneath her as she often sat, watching TV while Laura was in the kitchen working on dinner.

“Hi Daddy!” Samantha smiled when she saw him. He leant down to kiss her as he passed on his way to the kitchen them, having greeted his wife and confirmed that she did not need his help, he came and sat down beside her on the sofa. Clearly very happy to see him, Samantha shifted herself so that she could lean her head on his shoulder and slipped her arm through his. She felt just like his little girl again, a far cry from the horny minx of the night before.

“What are you watching?” he asked, trying to make sense of what was going on on the screen and finding it unfamiliar.

“Just a movie.” she smiled. “About a bunch of rich idiots who think they’ve killed a unicorn and try to make even more money out of it!”

“Oh, I see!” Josh chuckled. “Did you have a good time today?”

“Mmhmm.” she smiled with the same infuriating lack of willingness to share any information that Laura had displayed recently. She really was her mother’s daughter after all!

“So,” he changed the subject, realising that asking questions was not going to get him anywhere but hoping that Samantha might slip something into the conversation without meaning to, “we need to arrange one of those consent meetings for you with the council, get them to sign off on your cooking.”

“Yeah we do need to arrange that.” Samantha nodded. “Plus it would probably be a good idea to get a medial inspection done, just to be on the safe side?”

“True!” Josh nodded. “We don’t want everyone getting Kuru after all!”

“Daaad!” Samantha slapped him quite hard on the arm. “That’s such an out of date idea and exactly the sort of foolish misinformation Sidney fought against!”

“Hey, sorry!” Josh chuckled apologetically, massaging his arm. “Isn’t that the disease those cannibal tribes got back in the nineteen-hundreds?”

“You only get Kuru by eating someone who’s already got it!” She explained, rolling her eyes. “It’s not something you just develop by eating human meat!”

“I’m sorry!” He pulled her towards him and kissed the top of her head. “I just mean… well, we don’t want to make anyone sick, do we? And if there is something the doctors need to treat in you then I’m sure they’ll be able to sort it out and we can always arrange a Summer barbecue or something, or wait until next Christmas of course!”

“I don’t want to wait!” Samantha looked at him, grabbing his hand imploringly, tears starting to form in her big blue eyes. “I want to be the Christmas turkey this year! I will be able to, won’t I?” She practically pleaded. “I’m not sick and I don’t have any bugs in me that are going to make anyone else sick!”

“I’m sure you don’t!” Josh kissed her again. “But you’re right that it would be smart to get an inspection done, if only so that we can say we did if anyone asks!” She snuggled against him again and Josh took out his phone to look up how to go about booking a consent certification and medical exam and was pleased to find that the exams were heavily subsidised to the point of being virtually free, a government scheme, no doubt, to discourage people from skipping them. The certification was a little pricier but mandatory. Of course if a girl signed up to be on the menu at Sidney’s or be harvested through some other business, that business would be responsible for the fees incurred, but for a private cooking like they were planning, they would have to cover the expense. It was not a lot of money really, not in the grand scheme of things, roughly equivalent only to their monthly energy bill, but he supposed that it was enough to make people consider the decision to eat their daughter carefully which, he supposed, was the point!

He had just opened the booking page and begun to input Samantha’s information when Laura called that dinner was ready. An exception was made to the normal rule of no phones at the dinner table under the circumstances and, while they three of them tucked into their pasta bake, Josh booked and paid for first her visit to the council’s Human Livestock Welfare Department and then a health check at a local luxury butcher who sold some Girl alongside other exotic meats and could offer the necessary checks.

Over dessert they discussed the experiences of the night before and how such matters were to be handled going forwards, just so that everyone was on the same page. It was agreed that Samantha could spend Friday and Saturday nights in her parents’ bed but should sleep in her own on school nights and, while she was free to enjoy intimate fun with either parents or both at the same time, this should be kept to the privacy of their home, behaving just like any other normal family if they were out in public.

“So, did you get the invitations made up?” Josh asked, once the practical discussions were out of the way.

“Sure did!” Samantha grinned cheekily as if there were more to the situation than she was letting on. “Made and sent to the printers! I’m going to hand-write a message on the back of each one so people know it’s legit and I’m really up for it!”

“That’s a good idea.” Josh nodded. “Can’t wait to see them!” Samantha and her mum shared knowing looks and giggled again but Josh knew better than to question them. Setting down her spoon, Samantha gave a very loud, long, theatrical yawn.

“Oh my goodness!” she exclaimed. “I’m so tired! I think we should all go to bed right away!”

“Bed?” Josh frowned. “But it’s only seve… oh!” he caught on. “I see!”

“Oh for sure!” Laura agreed. “We’ve all had a busy day! I think an early night is definitely what we all need! Let’s just get these dishes dealt with and…”

“You made dinner.” Josh smiled, putting a loving hand on her arm. “Let me deal with the dishes. You two head up to bed. I’ll join you in a few minutes.”

To be continued...