Over their light dinner, Laura and Josh discussed the different responses she had received to the invitations and the varying levels of enthusiasm for the menu, from “Well if you’re sure that’s what she wants, I’ll try anything once!” to “I can’t wait! Samantha’s going to be delicious!” Josh asked about her own brother and his husband, how they and their children had felt about the Samantha being the Christmas turkey.

“Oh I see!” Josh laughed when Laura told him. “I’ll tell her about that when I go tuck her in!” Laura giggled, agreeing that it would certainly make things more interesting and hoping that they hadn’t accidentally caused trouble for her brother and brother-in-law!

“Guess you’d better go make sure the turkey hasn’t drowned!” Laura chuckled, topping up the wine glasses as Josh put the plates in the sink and the rest of the salad in the fridge. “Oh but get the ice cream out the freezer while you’re over there,” she instructed, “so it can soften a bit.” Josh did as she said, putting the container of salted caramel swirl ice cream on the kitchen counter then went upstairs to check on Samantha.

First he popped his head into the bathroom where the air was still warm and muggy from the lingering steam of a recently-emptied bath and Samantha’s wet footprints were still evident on the bath mat but she was no longer there so he went to her room instead where he found her sitting up in bed in her pyjamas re-reading her rather well-loved copy of “Rosie the Christmas Turkey”.

“I can’t wait to see the movie!” she beamed, setting the book down as he came in. “You are going to record it and show it to everyone after dinner on Christmas Day aren’t you?”

“Of course!” Josh smiled warmly, sitting down on the bed beside her and stroking her soft, golden hair. “I remember when you used to make us read this to you every night!”

“Maybe if we’d picked up the very hungry caterpillar instead that day I’d be a fat butterfly by now?” Samantha giggled.

“Maybe!” Josh chuckled, wondering just how big an influence the book had actually been on Samantha’s young psyche and whether it really was the root cause of her desire to be eaten or whether it had just given form to a drive that already lurked within her and would have inevitably come out at some point. After all, his recent experiences with the butcher, Amelia and the trip to Sidney’s had shown him there was no shortage of girls who saw ending up on the plate as their rightful destiny so it must be something innate inside them. He remembered reading an article once that suggested that Neanderthals and other early humans had practised cannibalism and not just for ritual purposes or in times of desperation. Was there something hard-wired into some girls’ DNA that made them view themselves as a food source?

“I felt bad for Nadine.” she sighed, looking genuinely sad to have caused her young cousin distress. “I didn’t mean to upset anyone, I just want to give everyone a delicious Christmas dinner!”

“And you will, sweetheart!” he assured her, stroking her hair again and kissing the top of her head. “But you remember getting funny ideas in your head when you were younger, don’t you? Like when we went to Disneyland and you thought the children dancing in the parade must be the ones who got lost and left behind in the park by their parents and you were really anxious that we shouldn’t lose you because the dance moves looked really hard?”

“Oh yeah!” Samantha giggled. “But wasn’t I like, five or six then? Not nine!”

“True,” Josh chuckled, “but Nadine is a little, well, what grown-ups call sheltered. She doesn’t understand the world as well as you do. So when she saw that one little girl was going to be cooked for Christmas dinner, she thought that meant any other girls there that day could end up being served as seconds!”

“I think I’m gonna have more than enough meat!” Samantha giggled. “I hope Willow’s not afraid too? They did say they were coming, right?”

“Oh yeah, funny story…” Josh chuckled and Samantha looked at him, intrigued. Willow was the younger child and only daughter of her mum’s brother Martin and his husband Clive. Like her older brother, ten year old Merlin, she had been born to a surrogate after both her dads gave a sperm sample so none of them knew for sure who her biological father was and, since both men and the woman who had agreed to carry both children for them were blonde, it really was anybody’s guess. The children, however, did look very like each other and enough like both of their dads that nobody would ever question that they were a family.

“What?” Samantha furrowed her brow. “They are coming, right?”

“Oh yes they’re definitely coming!” Josh chuckled. “But the thing is, ever since one of her shows did a feature on her in the Spring, Willow has been quite the Sidney Roebuck fan-girl and has been nagging her dads to let her follow in her footsteps!”

“Oh I see!” Samantha giggled. “So is she mad that I get to be the Christmas turkey instead of her?”

“Well not exactly,” Josh admitted, “she’s more like our friend Emily, wanting the full Sidney experience,” Samantha knew exactly what he meant by this, “and they’ve been reminding her that Sidney was harvested on her twelfth birthday and she’s only eight so she needs to wait four more years. But when she got the invitation, she pointed out that you weren’t twelve yet either!”

“Uh-oh!” Samantha giggled. “Just wait until her and Ella get together at the party!”

“Quite so!” Josh laughed. “So don’t be surprised if she has lots of questions for you about being cooked!”

“Oh that’s fine!” Samantha giggled again. “I’ll try to encourage to her wait until she’s a bit bigger at least!”

“Good girl!” Josh ruffled her hair and kissed the top of her head. “You do seem to be causing quite a stir, don’t you?” he teased. “Who’d have thought roasting and eating an eleven year old girl could be so controversial?”

“I know, right!” Samantha grinned. “People really need to get with the times!” She thought for a moment. “So that just leaves Grandma and Grandpa,” she observed, referring to Josh’s parents who had always favoured the more formal titles, “what about them? Are they coming?”

“They’re on one of their trips until the end of this week,” he reminded her, “so they won’t have had the invitation yet but don’t worry,” he assured her, “I’m sure they’ll want to come. “They both enjoy their food, remember, and who could resist a taste of such a yummy little turkey?”

Quick as a flash, just as he had when she was little, Josh shot his hands under the duvet and lifted her top, ticking her sides and tummy until she rolled around shrieking with hysterical laughter, kicking her feet until the duvet lay in a heap off to the side. He then pinned her down and blew raspberries on her bare belly. It felt nice to share this innocent physical interaction with her after some of their recent escapades. She was still his little girl after all, for a couple more weeks at least!

Tuesday came and went without anything of particular note although, now that they had a more definitive guest list to work from, Laura and Samantha got to work sticking the names on the stockings using the sheets of stick-on fabric letters which came with each one, relieved to find that, by combining the various sets, they were able to spell out everyone’s name properly. There was some debate about whether to label those for the grandparents by their given names or by their titles but eventually it was decided that, since it was Samantha’s party, they should be labelled with the names that she and the other children in the family knew them by. They also carefully sorted the gifts into plastic bags with the name of the recipient written in marker pen somewhere near the top so that they could be wrapped in matching paper then taken to the hall on Christmas Eve since it would be much easier to fill the stockings on site rather than trying to transport them filled to overflowing and risk the contents getting muddled.

On Wednesday, Josh arranged to finish work early again so that he could pick Samantha and her friends up from school. Although she was not coming over that night, Amelia was still delighted to see him waiting in the playground when she came out and ran to him, jumping up into his arms and kissing him noisily with her arms around her neck.

“I can’t wait for you to fuck me again on Friday!” she whispered huskily in his ear as he supported her with one hand under her rump, trying to ignore the mix of shocked looks and giggles from the other parents. “Then I want you to use that candy cane we bought on me! Make me feel like I’m getting spitted!” Before he could reply, she unwrapped her legs from around his waist and dropped back down to the floor. “Bye Mr Martin!” she waved, speaking now in an innocent, cheerful schoolgirl voice, “See you on Friday!”

She scampered off, giggling, and Josh was relieved to see Samantha and the red-haired siblings making their way across the playground towards him. As agreed with the staff at the care home, Laura phoned as soon as they got back to let them know that the children were safely with her and promised to call again when either she or Josh set off to drive them back. The brother and sister were very polite over dinner which was home-made lasagne with salad and garlic bread.

“Not girl this time, I’m afraid!” Laura chuckled as she served up the delicious-smelling Italian dish. “Just ordinary cow.”

“Some girls are cows!” Samantha reminded her cheekily, making her friends giggle.

“Well I guess they can be, yes!” Laura conceded with an amused shake of her head. “But I don’t think this meat came from any sort of girl, pleasant or otherwise!”

“It looks really delicious, Mrs Martin!” Rob smiled gratefully as he accepted his full plate, happy to be sharing an intimate family meal like this again. The staff at the home were kind and the food was always pretty good but always eaten at the big, shared table with all the other children so coming home could sometimes feel like leaving one school to go back to another.

“It really does!” his sister agreed.

“Thank you.” Laura smiled. “And please, do call me Laura. And this is Josh.” She introduced her husband, although they had already met. He felt slight amusement at the irony of being on first-name terms with these two who were barely more than friendly acquaintances when Amelia still called him Mr Martin, even in the throws of their most intimate or debauched interactions, but then it occurred to him that she seemed to enjoy the contrast of being, at the same time, both his daughter’s polite school friend and his dirty little sex-toy!

Over dinner, they avoided topics that might be painful for their guests and chatted instead about school, what subjects they enjoyed, any clubs that they were part of and that sort of thing. Once it was clear that they all got on very well, Laura brought up the subject of Christmas Eve and asked if they would like to stay over, assuming that there would be no problem squaring it with the staff who would likely jump at the chance of having two less children to entertain on a day that many of them found understandably difficult. It would also solve the logistical issue of getting them either picked up or dropped off at the hall on Christmas Day. Rob and Amanda were delighted to accept and promised to be as helpful as they could with the preparations for the party, and with cleaning up afterwards if necessary. Laura topped up their plates as Samantha gushed about how much fun they were going to have at Christmas, then cautioned them to save room for the apple crumble that was in the oven for dessert!

Although there was a general “no phones at the table” policy over dinner, Laura suggested to Josh that he should go answer his when it buzzed insistently in the kitchen, ringing out three times with the caller ringing straight back rather than leaving a message, suggesting it was something quite urgent. Josh apologetically excused himself and managed to reach his phone on the counter where it sat charging before the next call cut out.

“Hello?” He answered while the others tried to listen, intrigued as to what could possibly be so important that it could not be conveyed in a message. “Sorry, we were having dinner. Yes, with some friends over.” Although they could only hear Josh’s side of the conversation, it was clear that he was responding to someone. “Is everything okay? I hope there’s not… Oh no, absolutely! Yes, thank you for letting us know. Yes, that would be great actually! Make things far more relaxed!” Samantha and her mum exchanged puzzled looks while their visitors gave up and went back to enjoying their food, confident that they would find out soon enough if this was information that effected them in any way but knowing that it was unlikely to be. “Yes, of course. I’ll send it over this evening. Are you sure that’s all you want? It’s very generous! Well yes, I suppose so! Well, thank you again! I know Sam will be delighted! Yes, I’ll get it sent over straight after dinner. Yes, absolutely. Merry Christmas to you too!”

“So?” Samantha asked as her dad resumed his seat at the table, looking bemused and excited in equal measure. “Who was that? What am I going to be delighted about?”

“That was Mr Jenkins from the hall.” Josh explained, realising he was still holding his phone and slipping it into his pocket.

“Why was he calling?” Samantha asked, suddenly alarmed. “There’s not a problem, is there? The oven isn’t broken or anything?”

“Oh no, nothing like that!” he assured her quickly with the urgency of someone trying to prevent a catastrophic volcanic eruption. “It’s good good!”

“Good!” Samantha relaxed a little. “Because I was going to say, that doesn’t sound very delightful at all!”

“Oh no, no!” Josh assured her again. “He was actually calling to say that they’ve had no booking requests for either Boxing Day or the day after and he and his wife have been invited to visit family for a few nights from Christmas Eve onwards so if we want to keep the hall over night on Christmas Day, tidy up at our leisure on Boxing Day and give the keys back some time on the twenty seventh, we can have it for a token fee. Much better than having to get everything cleaned up and be out by eight in the morning, right?”


To be continued...