“I’m sure that can be arranged!” Josh stroked her hair then kissed the top of her head.

“Coming through!” Gram interrupted their moment, heading towards the sink with a pot of green vegetables to drain. Amelia quickly stepping into the space at the end of the counter where she would be out of the way while she finished getting dressed then, once her outfit was back on, she and Grandpa were assigned the task of loading up the serving trolley with drinks and taking them through to the hall, with strict instructions to come back soon as the trolley was needed for the vegetables.

Deciding that it would be easier not to have everyone wandering around while they were trying to set the table, Laura sent Josh into the hall to get everyone sat at the table and to adjust the lights and music ready for the meal. Only the lights at the front of the hall near the stage had been on so that Samantha could clearly be seen by the guests as they arrived, the semi-darkness facilitating the party atmosphere at the other end of the hall by allowing the disco light and other decorative illuminations to to truly shine but now Josh put the middle section of lights on too so that the tables and everything on them would be well-lit. Next he swapped the music USB for one marked “Dinner Time” and set it playing, finding the mostly orchestral carols and other gently Christmas tunes, including some played on harp and panpipes, a nice relaxing contrast to the seasonal rock and disco hits that had been blaring loudly since the start of the party. He turned the music down to a comfortable background level that would be heard clearly but could still be chatted over then called for everyone’s attention, happy to see that everyone apart from Willow was now dressed as they had been when they arrived, meaning that Laura would be able to get her nice photographs without too many people questioning exactly what kind of party their family had been holding!

“Okay everyone!” he announced once he had their attention. “The moment we’ve all been waiting for is nearly here so if you could please make your way to the table and look for the stocking with your name on it. Now,” he acknowledged, “I realise some of you have made new friends since you got here so if you’d like to swap around, that’s perfectly fine! Just please don’t move anyone else’s space without checking with them first, okay?” These very reasonable stipulations were readily accepted. “Do help yourselves to drinks and feel free to start opening your stockings. These are all gifts from Samantha herself, as if the gift she was giving us all already was not enough!” There were affectionate grins and chuckles all round. “There are crackers too but please wait to pull these until we are all seated.”

With no further instruction needed, the guests that were not involved in serving the meal all went to find their spaces at the table. Having been eyeing them with curiosity since they arrived but told they were not allowed to open them yet, several of the children were very keen to start investigating the stockings with their names on them! After returning the trolley to the kitchen, Amelia and Grandpa were sent back to take their seats too, with Grandma following close behind now that the vegetables had all been decanted into tureens and the gravy mostly made, just waiting to have the rich juices from the bottom of the turkey pan added.

George’s own space was at the head of the table with Laura to his right and Amelia to his left. Amanda was sat on the other side of Amelia with Rob next to Laura and his new friend and cousin Merlin on his other side. Next to Merlin were Gram and Gramps’s seats then Nadine, her mum Julie, Rosie then George and finally Mike on the end of the table so that the parents bookended the younger children.

On other branch of the table, Caroline was sat next to Amanda then Ella by her side and then their mother Miranda. Next to Miranda were Grandma and Grandpa then Martin and Clive followed by Willow who had specifically asked to be allowed to sit next to Rachel then finally Aaron at the end.

Everyone was happily digging into their stockings, pulling out the selection of gifts and sweets, unwrapping the intriguing little packages to see what they had been gifted by their Christmas dinner! The photographs of Samantha in her various costumes were a great hit, as were the calendars but the books, novelties and everything else that had been so lovingly picked out, wrapped and packed into the stockings either by Samantha herself or under her close supervision were very well received! Coming out with the trolley of vegetables, assisted by her mum, Laura was delighted by the happy sight that greeted her but, realising that the stocking fillers were taking up a lot of space on the table, she quickly ran up onto the stage and retrieved the named carrier bags they had been transported in, passing them around so that everyone would have somewhere to keep their spoils safe during dinner. When she reached Martin and Clive, Martin stopped her and asked her to remind him to ask about the calendar later. Intrigued, she agreed then, leaving Gram to take her seat, returned to the kitchen to help Josh with the turkey.

For the final time, they donned their aprons and oven gloves and lifted Samantha in her roasting pan out of the oven, setting her on the prep table but sideways-on this time and to the right rather than in the middle, since they needed room for the serving platter too.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Laura hugged her husband’s arm and rested her head on his shoulder as they looked at their roasted daughter.

“She certainly is!” Josh stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. “She looks so happy and delicious too!” There was now no doubt that Samantha was roasted meat. Although still very much identifiable as an attractive young girl, her skin was now brown and crispy and the smell that rose from the pan was entrancing. “I feel like Fred Flintstone when he smells a pie!” Josh chuckled, inhaling deeply through his nose.

“I know what you mean!” Laura giggled. “She’s going to look even better once we get her all served up on the platter! I just wish she could see how happy and excited everyone out there is!”

“I’m sure she can.” Josh assured her. “Look at that smile! She knows how happy she’s making everyone!”

Incredibly carefully, not wanting to ruin the beautiful presentation at the last minute, Josh and Samantha each levered two large wooden paddles, like the ones used by traditional pizza chefs, under Samantha’s roasted carcass and gently lifted. There was slight resistance and just a tiny bit of tearing as sections of her back and shoulders that had adhered to the pan were pulled free but they would not be visible anyway. The important thing was that her body did not fall to pieces and that her limbs stayed in position. Fortunately, the transfer went incredibly smoothly and they set the turkey down gently on the serving platter and withdrew the paddles. Now that they were roasted, Samantha’s arms and legs were no longer at all floppy and stayed just as they had been positioned, assisted by the way the skin on the soles of her feet had fused together somewhat during the cooking process, as had the palms of her hands to her shoulders.

Even her head, no longer supported by the improvised pillow, remained tilted up a little and Laura was incredibly careful not to apply too much pressure as she removed the foil cap, lest the pretty, smiling head break off before everyone got to have a good look at the wonderful centrepiece of their feast. Supporting her roasted daughter’s head with one hand, she carefully brushed out her golden hair while, as they had all hoped, had remained as pretty as ever but was now mostly dry, gently steaming as the rest of the water that had been trapped in by the foil evaporated.

Working quickly, eager to show Samantha to the others, they used tongs to transfer the potatoes to the platter, surrounding the turkey with them, then the various types of sausage and stuffing balls. Once all the food was out of the pan, they very carefully lifted it together and poured the rest of the juices into the gravy, stirring them in, before decanting the thick brown mixture into eight ceramic boats that could be spread out around the horseshoe table, like the salt and pepper grinders. The gravy boats went on the bottom of the trolley and Samantha on the top then Josh and Laura took their aprons off and wheeled the lovely Christmas turkey into the hall.

There were gasps and squeals of delight and several people stood up for a better look, phones in hand, as Samantha’s golden-brown roasted carcass was wheeled in and placed on the table in the middle, in pride of place and ready to carve. Several people were filming and snapping pictures on their own phones of course but Laura wanted some official pictures so fetched the family camera and took a few dozen pictures of her lovely roasted daughter from a variety of angles while Josh distributed the gravy and took the trolley back to the kitchen where it would be out of the way.

Once he was back, Laura instructed him to stand behind Samantha, holding the carving set just like the dad in the film and asked everyone else to gather around him.

“No, no!” Aaron chuckled, holding out his hand. “That won’t do. You give me that camera and go get in the picture! It’s the last one with the whole family after all!” Gratefully, Laura passed him the camera then slipped in beside Josh, slipping her arm through his and putting her other around Rob’s shoulders. Amanda did the same on the other side of Josh and Amelia stood close beside her, with Caroline and Ella by her side. Grandma and Grandpa stood behind, as did Miranda, Martin and Clive with Clive holding Willow on his hip. Merlin stood next to Rob and Nadine next to him, holding Rosie as she had outside, while Gram and Gramps stood behind with Mike and Julie who was holding George. Finally, after some encouragement, Rachel slipped in close behind Merlin and Nadine with a hand on each of their shoulders. Everyone smiled and called out “Merry Christmas” and Aaron took several shots before, at her insistence, swapping with his daughter so, in her words, he could prove that he had been there too.

Before the formation was broken, Rachel passed the camera to Laura who checked the photo previews and declared herself delighted. Everyone returned to their seats and Josh and watched hungrily as Josh began to carve.

“Now I know some of you have reserved certain cuts!” he winked at his mother-in-law, “so don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get those but I think it will be easiest for the most part if I carve some slices so everyone can come help themselves?” This idea was met with general agreement and Josh pondered for a moment before pushing the carving fork into Samantha’s right thigh. Clear juices trickled out and the crispy skin made a crackling sound as he cut the first slice from his daughter. The meat under the skin was pinkish-white and he cut the slices quite thickly, placing them on another, smaller platter from which people could help themselves, working his way around Samantha’s meaty thigh until he was down to the bone, resulting in the rather comical impression that her right leg was pegged onto the rest her her body with a stick. Next he moved down to her rump, reducing her right buttock to slices on the other end of the platter.

“Right!” he grinned. “That should be enough to be getting on with! Of course you’re welcome to help yourselves! Jean,” he grinned at Gram, “could you bring your plate up here, please?” Excited to be front of the queue, Gram did as he asked and he carefully carved off Samantha’s cute little breast, placing it on the side of her offered plate. “Rob? I believe you had dibs on the other?” Grinning, his new son brought his plate over and was presented with his late adopted sister’s other sweet little tit. “Go on!” Josh encouraged them, “Help yourselves to some more! Don’t be shy! That goes for all of you!” he grinned, looking around at the other guests, “Come get it while it’s hot!”

“Don’t forget your special cut!” Laura winked, bringing Josh’s own plate over. Licking his lips in anticipation, Josh carefully carved Samantha’s lovely, plump vulva and placed it carefully onto his plate then, remembering the stuffing, plunged the knife deep into her bacon-covered belly, slicing it open from just below her ribs to just above where her delicious fillet had been so that the stuffing, infused with her own meat juices and no longer constrained by her belly, burst out, forcing the cut open wider, so that people could help themselves with a spoon.


To be continued...