Wanting to make sure that there was plenty of cut meat so that he could relax and enjoy his own dinner, Josh sliced Samantha’s right thigh and buttock and added it to the platter, taking two thick slices of each for himself before adding potatoes, some of each kind of sausage, a big scoop of the stuffing he and Samantha had made together earlier, their last real Daddy-Daughter activity, and a good selection of veggies from the assorted terrines, before taking his seat between his wife and new daughter.

Once everyone was seated, Laura announced that it was time to pull the crackers and everyone crossed arms with the people on either side, apart from the two men at the ends who helped to pull their neighbours’ crackers then, chuckling, stood up and ran over to pull each other’s. Soon everyone was sharing the corny jokes and exclaiming over the novelties which, although technically Barbie-themed, would definitely not have looked out of place in the pocket-money section of the Sidney’s gift shop. The paper hats were all metallic and either pink or silver. The girls who had hats on already took them off and hung them on the backs of their chairs to put the crowns in instead with the exception of Willow who managed to fir her silver paper crown over her Sidney hat.

The meat was exquisite, more than living up to the loftiest expectations any of the guests had entertained and Samantha’s parents knew how proud and delighted she would be to hear the compliments! There was much discussion around the table, especially among those for whom this was their first taste of girl-meat, as to which more conventional meat Girl most closely resembled, concluding as Samantha and her friends had at Sidney’s that it was somewhat like pork but also rather like chicken or turkey and really was a unique, delicious flavour all of its own. There was also debate as to whether meat from different parts of the body differed in taste as well as varying in texture, leading several people to return to the carcass and cut themselves pieces from Samantha’s chest, arms, lower legs or belly to experiment.

“So,” Laura asked Rob once she saw that he had consumed the very special piece that Samantha had promised him, a piece that he had avoided eating first and had kept on the side of his plate, ready to savour when the time was right, “did you sister have tasty tits?”

“She sure did!” Rob nodded emphatically, a sentiment echoed by Gram who, overhearing the question, raised her fork in a sort of confirmatory toast.

“And what about her pussy?” Laura asked Josh teasingly. “Did it live up to expectations?”

“So delicious!” Josh confirmed. “But then, you knew that already!” The couple giggled together like teenagers on a first date and continued to tuck into their daughter’s delectably tender meat.

“So, are you going on the spit?” Willow asked Rachel conversationally, taking her first real pause in eating since sitting down with her plate. “I saw you taking pictures with it.”

“I’m thinking about it.” Rachel confirmed. “For my birthday. Of course I’d have to get my mum to agree first!”

“You’d be really good!” she smiled at the older girl, meaning it as a sincere compliment. “But I know what you mean about parents. My dads keep telling me I have to wait until I’m twelve but Samantha wasn’t even twelve yet and Ella’s only a few months older than me and she’s already up for sale! I want to be butchered,” she informed her, looking at the piece of Emily sausage on the end of her fork, “just like Sidney!”

“You can be cooked lots of different ways that way.” Rachel observed approvingly. “And potentially lots more people would get to enjoy you!”

“You’d definitely need boob skewers.” Willow informed Rachel, looking rather intently at her older friend’s ample chest.

“What are those?” Rachel asked, sipping the wine that her dad had agreed she could have in honour of the occasion, already having a reasonable idea from context what Willow was referring to but understanding that younger children relished opportunities to show off and share their knowledge.

“You know how big boobs bounce when you’re running or jumping?” Rachel nodded, knowing this little fact very well. “Well, if you go on a spit you keep turning round and round on your side so they sort of flop about.” Willow informed her. “It’s okay at first but when your skin starts getting crispy, if they’re too heavy they can start tearing off which kinda spoils the presentation of the meat!”

“Yeah, it would!” Rachel chuckled. “So what’s best to do? Cut them off first and cook them on their own skewers?”

“You can,” Willow agreed, having clearly researched this and other adjacent subjects quite thoroughly. “or wrap them in foil and put them in the coals to bake, but the best thing to do is to pin them together with skewers. One like this and one like this.” She drew a wide X across her own chest with her finger. “That way they stay in place and once you’re done cooking they can take them out and you still have your pretty boobs when you’re served!”

“Well, I’ll definitely have to keep that it mind!” chuckled Rachel. “Thank you!” Willow looked proud and satisfied and, having apparently decided that she had taken a long enough break, began to attack the food on her plate once more.

Several people expressed curiosity about the stuffing which prompted Josh to remember the parchment that had been put under the display platter to flatten. He retrieved it and it was passed around to anyone who was interested, with the promise not to spill anything on it so that it could be added to the memory book later. Deciding to take a little break before going back for seconds, as it was obvious that there was going to be more than enough for everyone to eat their fill at both meals which Samantha’s meat was planned to cover, Laura walked around getting pictures of all the happy guests, singly and in groups, tucking into their roast Samantha slices or raising toasts to the delicious Christmas turkey!

Seeing that there was plenty to go around, just as Samantha had promised, the guests all seemed comfortable going up and helping themselves to second, third or even fourth helpings and it was not long before all the girls were teasing each other about getting fattened up and engaging in light-hearted debate about which of them would be the tastiest and why. Even Nadine, who had initially been terrified of accepting the invitation lest she end up on the menu herself, happily joined in with this banter and, reaching something of a stalemate on the question of which of them would be objectively the most delicious, the conversation among the giggling girls turned to which cooking method they would each be best suited to.


To be continued...