Next off the bus was Tania, sobbing theatrically, letting out great wails of sorrow just like her character in the book and pretending to dab at her eyes with a comically oversized white handkerchief. Looking her up and down, Julie was clearly impressed! Not only had the body-painter used varying shades of green, some lighter and some darker than her base dye, to create a contoured look all over her body and face, given her a strange, reptilian appearance, but he had expertly shaded her yellow belly with varying oranges, pale yellows and whites to make it appear as if it were made up of six segmented shell pieces. On her back, hooked on over her shoulders and strapped not around her waist but somewhat more discretely around her upper thighs was a soft, velvet shell, painstakingly hand-sewn with jewel-like glass beads around the edge and metallic thread used to create the pattern on the back.

“You look wonderful!” Julie exclaimed. “But why are you crying?” She asked this not out of actual concern, for the distress was clearly an act, but because she recognised that this was intended as her character’s introduction and wanted to give the enthusiastic young actress a chance to perform as Gemma had done and introduce herself in character.

“I weep, dear lady,” Tania explained in tremulous, theatrical tones like an old-fashioned Shakespearean actor, “because, despite how it may appear, I am not a true turtle! No!” She exclaimed dramatically, making it hard for everyone else, including Julie, not to giggle. “I am in fact, but a Mock Turtle, and as such, unworthy of being your soup!”

“Oh nonsense!” Julie chuckled. “Real turtle tastes so bland! Mock Turtle is far more delicious, especially when cooked with oysters!” Despite jokes around the workplace that every male employee would be expected to chip in at least one, the two dozen oysters for the stew which were really the testicles of boys and young men, had been purchased from a high-end butcher which had been approved by Julie on behalf of her employers and they would be added to the broth along with vegetables and other ingredients once Tania had been allowed to simmer for a good while.

“You are too kind, dear lady!” Tania sniffed in character. “I hope that I shall not be too much of a disappointment to your guests!”

“I would not believe so even for a second!” Julie assured her, quietly impressed by the quality of the performances she had seen so far. Her concern when making this very particular booking had been that the company would be able to source either great actors or top quality meat and that she was going to have to attempt to sell her employers on the idea of compromising in one direction or the other but, from what she had seen so far, including the photographs she had been sent for approval, the company had managed to find incredibly delicious girls with top-quality meat who were also wonderful, engaging performers capable of quick wit, improvisation and, most importantly of all, remaining in character up to and including their final moments.

Finally, the two lobsters, Andrea and Becky, dismounted the bus and, as theirs was not a speaking role, performed a short but slow and stately dance, as if they were aristocrats at a ball.

“Bravo!” Julie applauded, chuckling a little, once they were done. Like Tania, the two lobster-girls’ base dye had been augmented with shading and contouring, but since the head-pieces of their velvet costumes which were held on like the turtle shell and made from burgundy velvet included eyes on storks, their human faces had been airbrushed so as to blend in rather than drawing focus like a face normally would. The insectoid, alien look of their faces and bodies was an almost unsettling contrast to the cuteness of their costumes which were augmented with gold beads and metallic thread as Tania’s was. The lobster costumes were narrower than the shell and ran down their backs, ending in impressive tails, and with caps that came up over their shaved heads to complete the effect. “I can tell you right now,” she beamed, “Miss Strawberry is going to be delighted! Should we go through?”

Holding hands, Gemma and Melanie followed Julie down the gravel path which ran around the side of the house and led to the back garden where the party was taking place. Most of the cooking equipment was set up on the patio with a performance area marked out in front, framed on either side with spectacular artificial rose bushes where some of the flowers were red, some white and some a mixture as if in the process of being painted. On the lawn were giant chess-pieces and a croquet pitch with themepark-style fibreglass models of the card soldiers bending over to make the arches and a rack of flamingo-shaped mallets. All the young guests were currently sat at a long table, in costumes of varying quality depicting various characters from the story, enjoying cake, sandwiches and fizzy drinks served in tea cups while most of the adults milled around chatting and drinking expensive wine served to them by wait-staff in playing card costumes.

At the head of the table, on an elaborate heat-shaped throne which would not have looked at all out of place at any Disney park was Strawberry Miller, the birthday girl, dressed in an extravagant red and black Tudor-style dress while her famous parents sat either side. Her father, Hollywood heart-throb and action hero Lance Miller was dressed as the March Hare while her mother wore a dormouse costume, although in with its tight skimpiness it seemed better suited to an adult magazine photoshoot or burlesque show than a six year old’s birthday party!

The little girl sprung up in delight and ran to greet the colourful newcomers as they emerged, picking up the front of her dress so that she would not trip over it. She hugged Gemma who she recognised instantly as Alice and giggled at the colourful creatures who accompanied her. Taking Gemma by the hand, she led her back to the table to a seat that was waiting for her while the animal performers were instructed to mingle and chat to the various other children.

“Is it true I get to order your head chopped off?” Strawberry asked in awe.

“If it should please your majesty?” Gemma replied in character. “But I hope you shall permit me to sing for you first?”

“Of course!” the birthday girl nodded approvingly. “And then we shall have a game of croquet! If you play badly enough, I might even let you go!”

“Oh I do hope not!” exclaimed Gemma. “It would be a terrible thing, your majesty, if all your guests were to go home hungry! After all, crispy lobster and mock turtle soup is no substitute for fine, old-fashioned Girl, even if the soup has oysters in it too!” Strawberry giggled at this.

Walking around and acting, in character of course, as a secondary host, spouting comical nonsense for the delighted children and performing small, simple magic tricks, Melanie kept and eye on the empty seats, coordinating with Julie every fifteen minutes or so to see whether all the expected guests had arrived. Once they had all enjoyed their welcome snacks, many of the children got up and started to explore the various exciting outdoor games and other decorations in the garden. Strawberry linked arms with Gemma and marched her proudly onto the croquet lawn where she ordered her, imperiously in character, to pick up a flamingo and play with her. Knowing that their daughter really had no idea how croquet was played, her parents followed close behind to supervise.

Once she got word that everyone had arrived, Melanie told her team to prepare the pot for Tania to get in and to begin slowly heating the oil for deep-frying the lobsters. When she began to sing, that would be the sign to light the coals under the grill where Gemma’s meat would be cooked once her head had been cut off. Seeing that everyone had arrived and that the party could now continue smoothly without further intervention, Julie went inside to put on her White Rabbit costume then came back out to join in the fun.


To be continued...