“Everything okay in here?” Uncle Silas asked with concern. “I saw you wriggling around a lot. If it’s getting too uncomfortable I can probably find a hammer or something to…”

“Oh no!” Sarah assured him. “Everything’s fine! We were just getting comfy!” Carmen, although looking a little sheepish, nodded his agreement to reassure his uncle that everything was well. Although reasonably confident that letting themselves be cooked to help out their uncle and his business would earn them a fair amount of slack and not quite sure how two children less than half an hour away from death could reasonably be punished, they both had the distinct feeling that what they were doing was “naughty” and something not to tell the grown-ups about.

“Oh well if you’re sure!” Silas smiled. He looked down into the pot where the thick red sauce was starting to bubble. “I’d say another fifteen or twenty minutes then I’ll pop the lid on, okay? Mmm you two sure smell good!” Sarah sat up a little as they both grinned then, slipping down again to get comfy as Silas walked away, she experienced something of an epiphany.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, once she and Carmen were essentially alone again. “You’re supposed to move up and down!” She began to rock her hips, lifting herself slightly off his hard little willy and lowering herself back on again and again.

“Ooh yeah that feels nice!” Carmen smiled blissfully, closing his eyes the way he usually did when receiving a special kiss. This rhythmic motion, not to mention the look on both their faces, did not go unnoticed by the adults but, far from being cross, they all chuckled indulgently.

“Looks like they’re having fun!” Sarah’s dad remarked to his sister.

“I’m not surprised!” she chuckled. “Don’t you remember how we were at their age?” She winked at him. “You know,” she sipped her coffee thoughtfully, “watching them like this makes me miss those times a bit! Silas, honey?” she turned to her brother-in-law, “How long do you think it will be before they’re ready to serve?”

“Another hour at least.” Silas admitted.

“Okay!” Carmen’s mum smiled then turned to grin at her brother. “What do you say? For old time’s sake?” She glanced back over at the pot. “They’re not going to notice whether we’re here or not any more and I’m sure Ken will take some pictures for us?” She turned to Silas’ partner who nodded cheerfully. “Besides, I’m looking forward to tasting them, for sure, but I’m not sure I want to watch my baby and little niece chopped up!”

“There’s a public toilet just by the car park!” Sarah’s dad grinned. “Remember that time on holiday?”

“I certainly do!” his sister grabbed his hand. “Come on! Let’s go work on Carmen’s replacement!”

In the pot, oblivious to anything going on beyond the rim, their vision blurred by steam and the lethargy that comes from being boiled alive, the children were beginning to feel sleepy. No longer feeling the strength to move her hips, Sarah leaned forward and put her arms around Carmen, resting her head on his shoulder. She put his arms around her in the same way and hugged her close. Both closed their eyes.

“Is it hurting you yet?” Carmen asked quietly.

“A bit.” Sarah admitted. “But not as bad as I thought it might! Mostly I’m just sleepy!”

“Just think of how yummy we’re going to be!” Carmen sighed dreamily.

Seeing the pair of them asleep or in a close approximation at least, Silas did not say anything or seek to disturb them as he carefully placed the lid on the crock-pot. With both of their heads tilted forwards, there was nothing in the way of it making a seal with the rim.

“Did it get dark?” Sarah asked without opening her eyes.

“I think so.” Carmen confirmed. “It must be time to sleep.”

“It doesn’t hurt any more.” Sarah observed as the little remaining air in the pot reached a temperature almost as searing as the pot.

“Me neither.” agreed Carmen. And that was the last thought either of them had.

An hour later, the market really starting to bustle and the first batch of potatoes ready to go into the oven, Silas laid out a clean tarp on the floor next to the pot and got out the tools – knives for cutting the meat from the bones and the shredding blocks that Ken was expert with, having been taught by his grandma along with the recipe for the sauce. There were also sharp hooks for lifting the meat out of the sauce. The pair put on thick gloves so that they would not get scalded and removed the lid from the pot, releasing the delicious aroma. Only the backs of the two shaved heads and one shoulder that probably belonged to Sarah were still visible. After carefully setting down the cast iron lid, they picked up two hooks each, one in each hand, and used the first to pierce the base of the children’s skulls, giving them a good grip to lift by. As they carefully raised the stewed carcasses out of the bubbling sauce, Silas lifting Carmen’s head and Ken Sarah’s, they found that they were very much entwined, their entangled limbs having fused together as their delicate skin blistered and broke. When they had lifted them high enough, their legs staying in the cramped position in which they had spent their last minutes, the men inserted the second hooks just above the tail-bones and carefully lowered the embracing, steaming carcasses, their skin dyed red from the sauce in which they had been simmering, onto the tarp.

Quickly, Silas got to work, using the hooks to separate the two. Since they had been boiling for so long, the meat was more than ready to come away from the bones and was already loose in some places. As he pulled their hips apart, he was amused to find that Carmen’s willy broke off, staying lodged in Sarah’s vagina.

“We should save that for his mum!” Ken suggested. “Seems a shame to shred it.” Silas agreed that this was a good idea and carefully cut out Sarah’s deliciously plump fillet to save for her dad, leaving the little sausage in situ as he transferred it onto a paper plate so that the parents could share in the amusement.

“Here!” Silas grinned, opening up Carmen’s marble pouch with a sharp blade and handing one of the little oysters to Ken before popping the other into his own mouth. He crushed the little round treat between his teeth and it popped juicily with an intense burst of delicious flavour. As he had assured the children he would, he pulled out their eyelashes which now came out easily in clumps then set to work parting out the bodies. After a few minutes, they got a good system going whereby he would pass the chunks of meat to Ken who would then shred them and return the meat to the pot. Within twenty minutes, there was nothing left of the children but bones and unusable organs. Most of the skeletons, including the skulls, once they had been cracked open so that the brains could be scooped out, were dropped back into the pot where they sank to the bottom so their their marrow could enrich the flavour and the last scraps of meat could boil off.

Once all the usable meat was back in the pot, the partners folded the tarp in on itself, bundling the remains inside and securing it with bungee cords so they could be used for fertiliser back on the farm. The bones in the pot, once it was cleaned out, would be ground down for the same use or to be used for gritting in the cold weather. There really were a lot of uses the non-edible parts of a body could be put to and neither Silas nor Ken believed there was any excuse for waste!

“Looks like we timed it about right!” Ken remarked as they carefully lowered the lid of the crock-pot back on for the final stage of cooking after which it would be kept warm but with the lid off making serving easier and, hopefully, enticing customers with the smell that wafter from within. The market was very much in full swing and soon the early-birds would be finishing their shopping and looking for something to eat.

“Sorry we were a bit longer than we expected!” Carmen’s mum apologised sheepishly, holding her blushing brother’s hand as they returned to the stand, just as Ken was checking on the first batch of foil-wrapped potatoes in the oven. They would definitely be ready to serve soon! “We started reminiscing about old times and, well…”

“Don’t worry!” Silas chuckled. “As long as you were having fun and didn’t cause too much of a queue for the loos!”

“Oh we didn’t stay there!” she giggled. “There was the car, that big tree at the edge of the car park, that secluded loading area behind the petrol station…”

“Quite the romantic tour!” Silas laughed. He checked that all the signage was in place, that the prices and ingredients were clearly advertised and that everything the customers might need was set up and available. “I bet after all that you’ll have worked up quite an appetite! I’ve heard the best way to attract customers is to let them see other people enjoying the product so what do you say? Fancy a jacket potato with pulled pork filling on the house?”

“Ooh rather!” Sarah’s dad grinned and Carmen’s mum nodded happily too. Using tongs, Ken carefully retrieved two large potatoes from the oven, dropped them into the waiting cardboard containers then carefully peeled back the foil and cut them in half.

“Butter?” he asked. Both nodded and he added some to both sides of each potato where it instantly began to melt then picked up a ladle and scooped two large, steaming dollops of filling from the pot. “Ta-da!” he grinned. “Help yourself to cheese or sour cream! Enjoy!”

“Ooh we almost forgot!” Silas chuckled as the erstwhile parents happily accepted the meals their children had made such a pivotal contribution to. “We saved this for you!” He reached under the counter and took out the paper plate. Sarah’s dad’s eyes went wide as he recognised his daughter’s fillet.

“Wow, thank you!” he exclaimed. “But what’s that in…”

“Toad in the hole!” Carmen’s mum giggled, answering his question before he could finish it. “That’s Carmen’s little soldier, silly!” she slapped her brother playfully on the arm. “Mmm I bet it’s even yummier cooked than it was raw!”

“We just wanted you to see how it came off!” Silas chuckled. “But feel free to take it apart now and share it out however you want!” After a quick but very civil discussion, the siblings decided to share both pieces with Sarah’s dad insisting that his sister get the head-end of her son’s little sausage and splitting the tender fillet down the middle. Both treats so soft from the long simmering that they were able to break them in half with the side of a wooden fork. These parts they ate first, savouring the delicious flavour and exclaiming how exquisite their children tasted then finally they tucked into their jacket potatoes and the pulled Carmen and Sarah filling made to Ken’s grandma’s secret recipe!

By the time the fair was over and they were ready to pack up, all the potatoes they had brought with them had sold with the baked option being so popular that they had needed to pull more from the stock they had brought to sell raw and, by the time the last could were served, they were scraping the sides of the pot to get enough filling!

“Well they certainly went down well!” Ken exclaimed as Carmen’s mum and Sarah’s dad helped them pack the van. “Did we break even?”

“And then some!” Silas exclaimed. “I think we actually made back our investment three times over!”

“I guess we’re coming back then?” Ken grinned.

“Definitely!” Silas nodded. “Although I’m out of nieces and nephews!”

“Well, you know,” Carmen’s mum grinned cheekily, lifting a stack of empty crates into the back of the van, “we’ll need to wait a couple of weeks just to check I don’t have more than just baked potato in here,” she stroked her belly, “but assuming that’s all clear, without Carmen, I’m eligible to cook again! Would the recipe work with one adult rather than two little ones?”

“One like you?” Silas exclaimed, looking her up and down. “For sure!”


THE END