>>31409, >>31410, >>31411, >>31412, >>31413


The story is not only well written and really fits into the sidneyvers. Congratulations!

Having said this I have some remarks ‒ as usual… ;)=)

I first was a (very) little bit disappointed (in lack of a better word) about Dan's fast progression after the girls gave their final anwsers. It's just a feeling, but to me it sounds like he already had in wise foresight the girls' tools of choice in his hand. Maybe it's the "'Slit!' With no further question, the knife slid through her throat." and ‒ even worse ‒ the two "'Chop!' *TCHAK*" what causes my discomfort. Never mind!

In opposite to this the detailed description of the options of meat processing that Jen gets explained are worth reading twice. :)

While I understand that time is money I doubt the quality of a taxidermy done in hours ‒ and impossible in minutes, given only the number of 74 part girls (75 minus Jen) not yet counting the additional roasters. It usually takes weeks or even months to dry an object and get it ready for making a good showpiece. The ancient egyptians rushed and finished their mummies (no, not the ones of the British English language) in days - and now look at the results found in the pyramids. %->

From the moment the guests arrived the speed of the story increased. Before this the narration handled a lot of aspects with a nice depth. After this most things seem to be only touched "en passant". Did you get impatient and desperately wanted to know how your story ended? :b

However, all in all I like your work and would be glad to read more from you.