Hansel & Gretel’s Halloween Hijinks
By
Edward Hyde
“Hey!” Lucas exclaimed angrily, tugging the duvet over his lap in a panicked gesture, sending his phone toppling onto the bedroom floor. “Haven’t you have heard of knocking?”

“Of course I have!” his sister Diane giggled, stepping into the room wearing only two towels, out around her body and one around her hair, having just come out of the shower. “But then I wouldn’t get to make you jump like that! Just came to tell you the shower’s all yours if you want it.”

“Thanks.” Lucas swallowed his irritation and managed a smile. “Oh you don’t need to…!” he exclaimed in alarm as Diane helpfully leaned forward to pick his phone up for him but it was too late. She had already seen what was open on the screen.

“Average penis length for boys aged ten to twelve?” She raised an eyebrow at him and giggled as he blushed then cast her eyes over the dishevelled bed and saw the ruler that usually lived in his school-bag sticking out from under the duvet. “You were trying to measure it?” she giggled. “Why?”

“You know.” he muttered grumpily, taking the phone from her and switching the screen off. “What Sandy was talking about last week!”

“Ooh!” Diane sat down beside him on the bed, an excited grin on her face. “So you’re thinking about it, then?”

“I guess so.” he nodded. “I mean, she’s going to expect an answer tonight, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, probably.” Diane nodded. “So, what was the result?”

“I don’t know!” he glared at her. “It’s kinda tricky to get it to stay, you know, when you’re concentrating on reading a ruler, then someone interrupted me!”

“Let me help.” she declared in a matter of fact way that made it clear it was an instruction, not a suggestion. With no ceremony, she leaned forward and pulled the duvet off her brother’s lap, leaving him naked and exposed in a state of semi-arousal. With an irritated tut, she noticed that the act of leaning forward while sitting on the back of it had caused the towel wrapped under her arms to come loose and, instead of trying to re-fix it, she simply pulled it off and tossed it in a damp heap onto the floor, leaving her just as naked as Lucas, with the fact her hair was still wrapped serving only to accentuate her nudity. Looking down at his member, she frowned then, with the same slightly frustrated manner as she might have wiped up some spilled juice from the table, put her warm, freshly washed hand around it and began to pump clumsily.

“Where did you learn that?” Lucas asked in surprise, thinking he should probably stop his little sister but enjoying it too much to seriously contemplate such a thing. It was a matter of seconds before he was standing to full attention and ready to be measured.

“Bobby at school.” she told him casually as she reached for the ruler with her other hand. “He and Tim wanted to know who was biggest so we snuck into the pool changing room at lunch time and all took off our clothes then she showed me how to do that to make them big.

“I see!” Lucas could not help giving a little chuckle as he sister held the ruler appraisingly next to his erection which she continued to stroke with her open palm to maintain it. “So who won?”

“It looked like Tim’s was bigger.” Diane explained in a conversational tone. “And I was going to get the ruler out of my bag to check but before I could, his thing spat this white slime all over my hand then went floppy again!”

“Yup!” Lucas chuckled again. “That’ll happen! So, what’s the result?”

“Five and a half inches!” she informed him with satisfaction. “Give me your phone.” He did as he was told, unlocking it with his thumb-print as he passed it to her so that she could read the information on the website that was still loaded. “That’s three quarters of an inch bigger than average for a white boy your age!” She gave an approving nod.

“Well, that’s good to know, I guess!” Lucas smiled awkwardly, wondering whether, having gone this far, he could ask for his sister’s help with seeing his current situation through to completion or whether he should wait until she went to get ready for school and finish things up himself.

“Do you want me to suck the slime out now?” she asked, with the same casual bluntness as she had engaged in the rest of the conversation.

“Excuse me?” Lucas almost stammered.

“You know. The cleaner way?” she frowned a little. “That’s what Bobby told me anyway. He said if I suck the slime out, it won’t squirt out everywhere like Tim’s!”

“And...did you?” Lucas asked.

“Why not?” she shrugged. “I thought it was gonna taste gross but it was actually pretty good! Move your legs a bit further for me.” she instructed, not waiting for him to comply but rather putting her hands on his knees and firmly forcing them out to the sides then, before Lucas could quite get his head around what was happening, she was bending forward, the towel around her hair now joining its larger friend on the floor, bobbing up and down with her lips around his throbbing boyhood.

While this was the sort of thing Lucas had heard some of the other boys at school brag about, although usually those with older sisters in their teens who all their friends considered hot and liked to fantasise about, leading Lucas to doubt the truthfulness of their stories, it was not something he had ever imagined happening between himself and his own sister! Diane was nine years old, just a year and a half younger than him, and had similar blonde hair and green-grey eyes, although her hair was a shade or two lighter with Lucas’ being the kind of blonde that could appear very light brown in certain lights, especially during the winter, although that could just be because Diane’s was a lot longer and so more prone to sun-bleaching over time.

It was Friday, which meant their parents’ date night, when they were usually watched (Lucas especially hated and resented the expression “Baby-sat”) by Sandy, the younger daughter of some friends of their parents who lived across the road. Her big sister Rose had sat for them when they were little but eventually she had got old enough for a proper job and didn’t really have the time any more and Sandy had taken over. Sandy, who had been thirteen the first time she watched them and had recently turned sixteen was Lucas’ first crush, a fact that Diane noticed gleefully and never missed a chance to tease him about, although having the good grace not to do so in front of Sandy herself. Last Thursday, after quietly clearing it with their parents first who promised to respect their children’s choices, Sandy had put forward a proposal to the siblings.

She had started by explaining to them that she had agreed to be on the menu for one of the special “Dinner and a Show” private events that the restaurant where her sister worked, Gingerbread, hosted from time to time. The evening would be based around the story of Hansel and Gretel, from which the restaurant chain took its name and a lot of its themeing cues, playing the witch who, in this version of the tale, would be served up alongside the titular duo and she had thought it would be fun if the children on the menu were not only a real brother and sister but a pair she had some connection with, rather than just recruited from one of the local theatre groups as they usually were. Diane had agreed straight away but Lucas had been a little more reticent. It wasn’t so much the idea of being cooked that bothered him, he explained. In fact he quite liked the idea but had always assumed, if it were to happen, that it would be discretely in private, prepared by maybe their grandmother or another trusted family member. If he accepted the role of Hansel, he understood that it would mean being naked in front of a room full of strangers, and not even just when he was served up but before that too. That was all part of the show, after all! Sandy had explained that she would need to let the restaurant know by the following weekend to give them time to make other plans if he was not up for it so he knew that she would be expecting the answer that night.

Between his legs, Lucas could feel the tension rising. In just a couple more seconds, he would shoot his load into his little sister’s mouth. When the moment came, she did not react with shock, revulsion or even surprise, just swallowed hungrily and continued to suck until she had taken in every last drop then sat up with a look of triumph on her face and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“So?” Diane asked, looking inquisitively at her brother as she knelt stark naked on his bed, her freshly-washed hair hanging in soggy rat-tails around her face. “Now that we’ve proved you don’t have anything to be ashamed of, are you gonna go for it?”

“Well since you put it like that,” Lucas chuckled, “I guess I don’t have much of a choice!” Apparently satisfied with this answer, Diane hopped up off the bed and, pausing only to pick up her wet towels from his bedroom floor, happily skipped off to her own room to get ready for school, leaving her brother to make use of the bathroom. Lucas smoothed out his bed a little then reached for his robe but stopped himself. If he was going to be naked in front of a restaurant full of strangers then he might as well start getting used to it and crossing the landing of his own home in his birthday suit where the only people he was likely to run into were his parents seemed like a good way to start! Instead, he just took his bath towel from its hook and, instead of even wrapping it around his waist, folded it over his arm and walked to the bathroom.

In the shower, as he washed his hair and body, wanting to make sure he got all the little sister spit off his private areas, not that anyone was liable to notice of course, all he could think about was the restaurant and what was going to happen there. He and the rest of the family had been there a couple of times for special occasions. It was themed in what he guessed was an old-Hollywood idea of medieval, more like a fairy tale than anything historical. The tables and chairs were thick, heavy wood with cushions tied to the seats, the floor was made from irregular flagstones with straw around the edges and the walls had a stone effect. Although they did serve whole boys and girls to larger parties, most of the dishes were made with cuts of meat, all of which was butchered on-site and volunteers waiting their turn could also agree to be part of the decoration by being chained up naked on the walls like prisoners!

The central focal-point of the restaurant was a kitchen area which, while functional, was generally only used for display, with a large black iron oven which usually stood open, a stew-pot that was often occupied but kept on low heat so the children inside it would not actually cook and a large iron cage, like a giant bird-cage, hanging from the ceiling that often contained more naked volunteers. Build into the wall above and behind the oven was a second, stone oven a bit like a traditional pizza oven and a spit, occupied or otherwise, could be mounted on top of the iron stove. Around these cooking apparatus were wooden shelves with other pots and pans, plates, mugs and bowls etc. making it look like the kitchen of a witch’s cottage. The effect was completed with bundles of dried herbs, strings of sausages and cuts of cured meat, which apparently were apparently fake but very convincing, hanging from the ceiling.

It seemed fairly certain to Lucas that this would be the area where he, Diane and Sandy would be cooking but exactly what use would be made of the equipment still remained a deliciously intriguing mystery! Despite having just been given surprisingly skilled relief by his sister, he could feel himself getting hard again and, as he walked back to his bedroom having dried off but holding his towel over his arm again, he remained proudly erect and was almost disappointed not to encounter anyone else on the way.

“So,” his mum remarked conversationally as he got into the passenger seat of the car, ready to be driven to school, “I hear you’ve decided to take Sandy up on her offer?” Lucas spun his head around to look at Diane in the back seat who just grinned and shrugged faux-apologetically. “Good boy!” His mum leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, ruffling his hair affectionately. “She’ll be so thrilled, I know it!”

“Um, yeah…” Lucas replied a little weakly. “Thanks!” His mum pulled out of the driveway and they drove in silence for a minute or two before he asked, “Will you and Dad be coming to the party?”

“Well maybe,” she smiled, “it’s really a private event for some big corporate client but Sandy said she was pretty sure they could sneak us in at the back, so to speak, us and her parents. We’re not going to get any prime cuts, we know that, but I don’t think anyone would begrudge us a little taste of the yummy meat we helped to make!” Both children grinned and giggled. “Don’t worry!” their mum assured them. “We won’t cramp your style! We’ll act just like any other guests!”

It was hard to keep the news to himself during school but Lucas wanted to make sure everything was official before he told anyone. The school would need to be notified, of course, and wanted to let at least his closest friends know why he was leaving but that could wait until after he had talked with Sandy. That would give him the weekend to get his head around the idea for himself then he could tell everyone about it on Monday.

After school, Lucas walked home with a couple of friends who lived in the same area. Diane had one of her clubs after school so their dad would pick her up on his way home from work. Nobody else was home when he got in so he let himself in and went straight to his room to get his homework done. Normally, he left any homework given on a Friday until Sunday afternoon but this weekend he wanted to make sure that it was all out of the way as quickly as possible. He was nearly finished by the time his mum got home and called up the stairs, asking for his help bringing in the groceries.

About half an hour later, Lucas’ dad arrived home with his little sister in tow. Like their mum had done that morning, he congratulated Lucas on his choice and assured him how pleased Sandy would be before heading off upstairs to get dressed up for date night. Both parents were still upstairs when Sandy rang the doorbell. Diane, still in her school uniform, ran to answer the door, flinging her arms around the teen before she’d even had a chance to say hello and loudly announcing:

“Lucas is in!”

“Well I’m very happy to hear that!” the strawberry-blonde sixteen year old grinned, finally being allowed to step into the house. She looked up at Lucas, half way down the stairs, and smiled, making the pre-teen boy blush. Sandy was not especially tall and wore her long, thick, wavy hair in either a loose ponytail or messy bun most of the time. Tonight was the latter. She had a round, pretty face with a smattering of lick freckles across her nose and cheeks and hardly ever wore makeup unless it was a special occasion. Not that she needed it, of course. She was dressed in a pair of dark green leggings and a baggy grey hoodie over a black crop-top that showed off her toned belly. She had a backpack over her shoulder and her laptop under her arm for when the children went to bed. “Come down and say hi properly!” she urged him. “I’m not gonna bite! That’s the guests’ job!” she winked at him. Lucas’ blush deepened but he did at least come all the way down the stairs and accepted a light kiss on the forehead from the pretty babysitter before all three went into the living room.

“So, how did you persuade him in the end?” Sandy asked conspiratorially as she set down her bag and made herself comfortable on the sofa and Diane came to kneel beside her.

“He didn’t really take much persuading!” Diane confided confidently. “He was just worried about everyone seeing his willy but we checked and it’s actually a bit bigger than normal so he has nothing to worry about!”

“Well that’s very good to know!” Sandy put the back of her hand to her mouth to stifle her giggle, mindful of how embarrassed Lucas, who was sitting in the armchair opposite, seemed to be already and not wanting to upset him. “I’d say between us we make a pretty tasty trio, don’t you think?” she smiled at the boy, trying to help him relax.

“I hope so!” he grinned. “Will the restaurant need to check us or anything?” he asked. “Before we’re approved, I mean?”

“They’ll want to do an inspection,” Sandy nodded, “but it’s pretty much a formality. I know you’re both in great shape and unless either of you have some secret plague I don’t know about, it should all be pretty straight-forward!”

“Oh good, you’re here!” the children’s mum smiled, coming into the room still fiddling with one of her earrings. “There’s money on the counter for pizza. We’ll be back about one, please try to make sure they’re both in bed by eleven at the latest. Apart from that, I’ll leave things in your capable hands!” Her husband followed her into the room, putting his arms around her from behind and kissing her. It really was sweet, Sandy thought, to see how very much in love this couple still obviously were after so many years together.

“I’m sure she knows what she’s doing!” he reminded her with a chuckle. “She comes every week after all!”

“Oh yes, I know!” the mum chuckled. “Okay, well, have fun you three! Be good!” With that, they put their coats on and were out the door.

“So, I was thinking,” Sandy leaned forward once they heard the car pulling out of the drive, “if we’re all going to be cooking together, we should learn not to be shy around each other. So how about we have a no clothes rule for tonight, starting now?” Diane didn’t need asking twice and was already standing and tugging off her school polo shirt before Sandy had even finished talking. “I won’t look while you undress if it embarrasses you?” Sandy smiled sweetly at Lucas.

“Okay.” The boy stood and smiled a little awkwardly. “I guess if we’re all doing it?” He stood up and turned his back, trusting that Sandy would do likewise, and faced the chair as he started to unbutton his school shirt. Sandy did as she promised and turned to face the sofa, winking at Diane who was already topless and unzipping the side of her skirt. First she took off her hoodie and threw it on the sofa then pulled off her crop-top, under which she was wearing a sports bra. Instead of going straight to removing this, she lifted each foot in turn and took off her trainers and socks. Diane pulled down her tights and panties together and stood waiting a little impatiently as the other two stripped. Lucas was down to his underwear now but had forgotten to take his socks off, something he did before finally pulling off his underpants and adding them to the pile on the chair. Following Diane’s lead, Sandy had taken her leggings and panties off in a single motion so her bra was the last thing to come off.

“Okay!” she called, still facing the wall, her back to Lucas as Diane looked at both of them with amusement. “Ready when you are?”

“On three?” Lucas suggested.

“Sounds good to me!” Sandy agreed and they counted together, spinning around on the count of three to face each other. Lucas had imagined Sandy naked so many times in the past that it felt quite surreal to see her that way in real life and he could not help wondering if she had imagined him this way too, at least since she had invited him to cook with her. The reality was every bit as good as the fantasy! Sandy’s body was toned and athletic without crossing the line into muscular, her thighs were thick and meaty and, although her tits were not huge, they were a lovely round shape with pale pink nipples that stood out proudly. Her fillet was plump and, whether through shaving, cream or some other method, as smooth as Diane’s. Lucas was very pleased that the excitement of undressing in front of his long-term crush, as well as knowing the reason for it, had got him rock hard once more. It meant that Sandy would be seeing him at his best for her first time of seeing him naked, but he was sure that if he had not already been erect, the sight of her would have been enough to finish the job!

Looking the pre-teen boy up and down, Sandy was pleased with what she saw too and knew that she had made a good choice. Lucas was lean and toned without being thin. As his sister had informed her, his hard sausage was a very respectable size for his age and his oysters looked nice and plump, like ripe damson plums. He would definitely look good on display for the first half of the event and she was confident that the recipe she had in mind for him would ensure that he would be absolutely delicious! His little sister, of course, was a classic little meat-girl, flat-chested but with a lovely round rump and a general slightly plump softness over all which made her look utterly delectable. Between them, she knew they made a mouthwatering menu that the guests would consider themselves lucky to enjoy!


To be continued...