A rewriting of “It’s the grand pumpkin, Milhouse” from the treehouse of Horror XIX, episode 4 of the season 20. it’s a silly idea that has been on my mind since a while.


**************


On the 31th of October, a young child longed in a large pumpkin patch. Their hopes and dreams eventually swept in the ground, watering a pumpkin which grew larger and larger, until it could unroot itself, walk and even talk. “Oh my! The grand pumpkin! Here I made you a cake!” upon tasting the cake, the great pumpkin recognised the taste of its kin. Enraged it swallowed the kid whole, munching on it again and again, until their blood dripped from their pumpkin lips.

The grand pumpkin wandered through the city, wreaking havoc to anyone messing with pumpkin kin. The whole town of Springfield panicked, until one girl, Lisa Simpson bravely tried to discuss with the deadly pumpkin, despite the warnings of her friends. “Mister the Grand pumpkin. I am sorry my people eat your kind. But maybe we could find something that both of us can eat?” the monster listened to her ideas, but did not kill her.

The giant pumpkin liked her suggestion. It took a moment to ponder its options. But humans would never change, it learnt it already. So finding a dish to please both side as much proved challenging. That’s when they found the answer! While the girl with her kind spirit suggested Tofu, an ingredient unrelated to neither species. The pumpkin chose to go the other way, the dish that would feed them both would include the flesh of both their children.

Of course the young Lisa looked outraged, but the others, hungry on pumpkin and peace, agreed on the spot. They grabbed her tender body, stripped her bare, exposing her skin to the cold of the winter. A chef with his knife pierced the innocent girl’s skin, who flayed, screamed and begged all at once. But determined to bring peace, the improvised cooks held her tight.

Her tears her squeals stopped when she died. The cooks could then easily removed her bones from her meat. They opened a round and plump pumpkin, with enough room for the meat’s own round and plump ass, as well the rest of her deboned meat, they sealed it shut, and set it to slowly roast.

The tender meat slow cooked in its own juice till the end. The chef carved the pumpkin, revealing the golden brown meat behind it’s eyes, nose and mouth, before sliding a ladle through the top to serve the meat. It was so juice that the pumpkin drooled from every holes.

As they all shared a meal of their kin’s flesh, humans and pumpkins chanted and danced all night long around a feast for everyone.

The End.