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> 'can you give me a hand' sounds really hot...although for the ending you could just have it that her parts are rotting and no one else he knows will cut themselves up so he decides to get a girlfriend.
> Your idea is very erotic, but story loses its punch if you continue same pattern too much since you relieve tension to fast.
> I think you should reorder it somehow to do most amputations before those body parts are given. probably she could receive more than one request or it can be some other reasons, and in attempt to satisfy everyone she cuts herself into pieces. Finally everyone gets what they asked for just but not like they expected were story climaxes and as epilogue you can write what happens to her body parts and everything else.
> also cutting of head to fuck mouth is somehow illogical I think better reason is to cut head because remaining body with no limb s and pussy is not much useful at that time anyway. It is easier to take just head as fuck toy than everything else.
> If you want to keep element of surprise and make it easier you may entirely ignore any explanations ,who asked what, besides Shinji asking for hand. Rei will just do everything for seemingly no reason leaving reader wonder why is she cutting her womb when Shinji asked for a hand and later everyone just come into infirmary to take what they requested.
> For example Kensuke enters infirmary and notices Rei cutting her breasts, so she asks if she can take pussy (which was cut earlier) and Rei says "yes, it is over there". this is also good opportunity to explain ho those body parts will be used and make another request.
> As you described in your idea, it was unexpected, because we as readers expect that Shinji is asking for help not for a hand literally, and then it comes as surprise that it is literally a hand.
> If Shinji is not surprised this is also fine. It also works as story twist because readers expect that he should be surprised and that prediction fails because he actually wanted a hand and even asks for more.
> I would also add some surprises, like teacher notices Rei ripping out her intestines and screams "Why are you ripping your intestines !!!" ... I told you I need them undamaged and you shredded them into pieces.
> This is also very interesting idea, You should mention it in your story as if Rei refuses to have sex with Shinji but has no objections to cut and give him pieces of herself. She may even complain about masturbation using her body parts.
> If it is consensual it is not rape LOL
> I think you could solve that if Sakura only talks with that guy over internet and sets situation in a way he kidnaps and tortures her without knowing that she is one who staged all that, so he still thinks he is raping her against her will.
> Homeles guys as rapists, is not very good idea, because usually homeless guys are quite nice and very unlikely to hurt or hate someone. But this is common in manga for some reson
> Eating immobile chocolate statue is nothing special, it is just statue even if it was human some time ago.
> so second option is better, but also since it is fantasy, why bother with turning body parts to chocolate if it can be all chocolate and stay alive and mobile?
> But you really need enormous appetite to eat whole Sakura in one go.
> so i think instead of Sakura using magic on herself she could just return from one of her fights turned into chocolate and Tomoyo finds our that she is very tasty.
> as you often say this is guro story, so we can imagine it any way.
> No she did not lost battle, it just happens that she was turned into chocolate(something like princess Bubblegum who is made out of chewing gum) and did not noticed that ,maybe she just absorbed The Sweet's powers. She is not eaten by Tomoyo alone either. Tomoyo just finds out about her strange condition and they discuss what to do next. It can be no less consensual because she can offer herself when she notices how good she tastes. At first they just sample her to see what happened and later she eventually gets eaten completely.
> It seems that your main idea is to make Sakura sacrifice herself on purpose instead of random accident.
> But still just turning body parts into real chocolate is not that appealing because that will be just eating chocolate made from her body not Sakura
> I still think it would be better to limit transformation to the taste only while visually there should be no changes
>you need awful lot of balloons to suffocate someone so it is hardly possible to do as accident.
> But what I was saying that you must find a reason to put those balloons on her neck.
> I wonder how that suffocation will happen: will she just stop moving eventually and tomoyo will notice that she is dead? OR they will walk away from shooting range and Tomoyo will notice that she is dragging dead body or maybe Sakura will fly away and die in the sky?
>yes, this is good, also because balloons take away most of the weight she can walk even while suffocating without falling down.
> Also, I've just thought of 'fights' again. Maybe it would work better if time limit would mean angel's victroy, and angel's death without surrendering would mean a draw (as they didn't surrender, but didn't survive the torture either)? This would compel angels to actually try their best to endure the torture rather than dying of it while trying to keep their mouth shut about wanting to die.
> There also might actually be an overall goal of the game: if one faction manages to take control over all of the Earth world, they gain access to enter enemy faction's home world. Demons entering Heaven would be free to rape, torture and slaughter angels at their will as they don't need to worry about the influence in Heaven. What for angels in Hell, that's an interesting question. Perheps they will find there the most extreme tortures which by that point they would love to experience.