Dying to be Eaten?
By
Edward Hyde
“Did you see that documentary last night?” Jackson’s co-worker had asked him, apropos of nothing as they waited for access to the kettle in the break room.

“Might have to give me more to go on!” Jackson had chuckled. “I mean, I didn’t see any documentaries last night so the answer’s definitely no but which one in particular did I miss?”

“The one about those girls who are going to get butchered and eaten!” his co-worker had explained. “Can you believe that?”

“The Louis Theroux one?” Jackson had asked, recognition dawning. “Yeah, I saw it last year. Pretty wild, huh?”

“No, not that one.” He’d been informed with just a hint of impatience. “There’s a new one. You know, because they’re making it legal here in September?”

“I thought it was August?” Jackson had pondered, blowing on his coffee. “To coincide with Cindy’s birthday or something?”

“Sidney.” his colleague had corrected him. “Just watch it and you’ll see! It’s on iPlayer.” Jackson had been about to apologetically explain that he hardly ever watched live TV so only really knew about new shows if someone told him about them or posted about it on Facebook but his co-worker had, at that moment, got distracted by someone asking if he was done with the milk and, one way or another, the topic had never come back up for the rest of the day. Still, the documentary did sound interesting so, laying on his bed after dinner with a cold cider from the fridge poured into his favourite mug, Jackson flicked on the TV and loaded up iPlayer.

“That has to be it!” Jackson remarked to himself, seeing a title among the “New and Trending” selections: “Dying to be Eaten?”. Rather than being a one-off, it seemed to be part of a series that investigated challenging or controversial issues, usually around new technology or cultural shifts. The description definitely sounded like what his co-worker had been describing so he selected it, pressed “Play” and made himself comfy with a couple of spare pillows under his head to watch.

“In twenty twenty two,” the unseen reporter began, speaking over footage of Sidney Roebuck arriving at the Roebuck International Hotel in LA and waving to the crowds as she went inside, “at the age of twelve, Sidney Roebuck won her campaign for the right to be killed, butchered, cooked and eaten. This was followed two years later by the opening of the first branch of the Sidney’s Family Restaurant chain where young girls are routinely on the menu, a chain which has spread throughout the US and Europe and is now set to come to our shores in August.”

The screen now showed what was identified in the bottom right-hand corner as promotional footage, used with permission, of the inside of a Sidney’s restaurant where naked dancers cavorted on the stage, happy families and couples tucked into delicious-looking, affordable meals and a young girl turned on a rotisserie spit over artificial coals while another sat cheerfully boiling in a pot close by.

“Within the United States,” the commentary continued, “Roebuck International Incorporated holds exclusive rights over the preparation, sale and distribution of girl-meat, as it is known, but those same rules do not exist internationally, in countries which have chosen to follow America’s lead in legalising what was once, not too long ago, considered the ultimate taboo!

The footage now showed a Greek beach-front restaurant with four girls turning side by side on a row of spits, two seemingly recently put on to cook and still twitching as they turned and the other two already partially carved. There was then a shot of the outside of a butcher’s shop in Germany with girl-meat displayed prominently and “Mädchen” listed alongside the other meats available on the advertising board outside.

“Emergency legislation passed before the Summer recess will allow the Roebuck corporation to open their first Sidney’s branch here in August, in keeping with the tradition of opening on what would have been Sidney’s birthday, but for the time being serving only girls imported from countries where they can already legally be reclassified as livestock, primarily the US. When Parliament returns in September, however, Sidney’s Law, as it is being called, is expected to pass without without challenge, granting all British girls over the age of eight years old the right to be meat and any appropriately licensed businesses the right to serve them up.

What would once have been considered a threat, the stuff of nightmares or a fate to be avoided in a fairy tale,” the narration continued, “is now an aspiration for many with thousands of British girls pre-registering their interest in becoming meat when they are legally able to do so. Tonight we will get to know four such girls, find out what motivated their decision and whether they are fully aware of what it is they are agreeing to.” The screen now showed four pretty young girls, dressed causally in typical summer attire, stood outside some building and waving at the camera. “As part of this,” the reporter explained, “we will be taking them to locations in German, the Netherlands and the United States to witness first hand other girls living out their dream.”

At that point a few clips were shown teasing what was to come later in the program, with the show’s theme music over the top. There were shots that seemed to be in a large, industrial kitchen and of the girls who the documentary would be following talking to another girl in a Sidney costume, complete with blonde curls and over the top makeup in front of an indoor fountain which had to be in a Sidney’s restaurant, a shot of a line of naked girls waiting patiently in a queue in some sort of industrial setting, shuffling forward food or so every few seconds then a grinning girl with blonde braids and nothing else posing for photographs next to a burly butcher with a bald head and bushy moustache who had one hand on her shoulder and held a large cleaver in his other. From the bright flashes that reflected off the pair of them from behind the camera, this was clearly a publicity shoot or press conference of some kind.

“We will also speak to their parents and friends,” the voice-over continued, “and meets some who had a less positive view of the girl-meat industry and its practices.” What followed then was a teaser montage with three clips, none more than a few seconds long, clearly lifted from interviews that would be shown more fully later in the documentary with the theme music volume turned down but still playing softly in the background. The first was a group of girls at the mall who looked as if they had been stopped by the reporter for a quick “Vox Pops” survey.

“Do you feel like they target girls who look poorer or unhappy?” the unseen British reporter asked.

“Yes, definitely!” one of the girls replied in an American accent that Jackson could not immediately place. Before she could elaborate, the view switched to a girl of around twelve or thirteen being interviewed close-up in a studio, wiping away a tear from her cheek with the side of her hand.

“They sent a car to my house.” she spoke as if holding back sobs, in what Jackson was fairly sure was a Californian accent. “Then three of them in suits came to the door and said that if I didn’t go with them they’d sue my parents for everything they had!” The final shot of this montage was a man in a similar location, clearly being interviewed by a reporter behind the camera.

“Honestly,” he shook his head, a slightly haunted look on his face, “that was my worst moment in this job. Absolutely heartbreaking. Made me want to quit on the spot but, you know,” he shrugged apologetically, “I’ve got kids of my own and bills to pay.” The music swelled to full volume once more for its final seconds and the title card “Dying to be Eaten? An Investigation.” filled the screen.

“Cannibalism.” The young, male reporter spoke directly to the camera, stood by the fence of a building site where construction was clearly well under way on a large building. “Something considered grotesque, unthinkable and savage only a decade ago, discussed only as the punchline of jokes, in fairy tales or whispered of as the tragic outcome of desperation, has now been partially legal in the United States of America for nearly four years with Canada, Australia, New Zealand, China and most of the EU following suite in the years between, often with fewer restrictions than the US. Now a radical new law, known as Sidney’s Law, is due to be passed here in September, ushering in what some believe will be a bright new age of prosperity, happiness and opportunity and others fear will be opening the floodgates to a dangerous new trend that will decimate the population of young women and girls and put pressure on a generation already suffering through the worst mental health crisis in modern history to agree to having their lives ended for the benefit of others, with only those at the literal top of the food-chain standing to benefit.”

“I’m here in Birmingham,” he continued, “in front of what will be the first Sidney’s Family Restaurant in the UK, due to open on the fifteenth of August. Although no British girls will be able to be served here until early September, there are many who had already signed up using the pre-registration form on the website and concerns have been raised about what some are calling aggressive marketing, especially to through schools and community organisations such as the Girls’ Brigade and Girl Guiding UK which seems to be targetting girls in poorer areas. I will be meeting one such girl who says she is excited to be cooked and served up to strangers as soon as possible along with others who have expressed interest in being sold by the pound by a local butcher, slaughtered along with other livestock in an abattoir, many of which are already making the necessary adaptations to their equipment and processes to handle human meat and one who claims to be looking forward to being cooked at home for a family party.


To be continued...