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Last oekaki post was 4 days, 15 hours, 55 minutes ago
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Gore & Death
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No.47307 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
The subject explains it all. I've never seen any, so hopefully, someone has some
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No.59484 [Report]
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>>47347
lol
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No.70503 [Report]
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>>47307
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Literature
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No.16510 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
Alexander was a small boy aged 11 he looked like he was 9 the year is 1472 May 12th in the country of Britannia(Alternate Universe). Alexander is lying down in his cell his wrist and ankles shackled he knew in just two hours he would be hanging to death for his crimes. Now you might be asking what lead him to being condemned to die? Well unfortunately Alexander was born to very poor parents who abandoned him at 5 he fell in with a group of street children that robbed people to survive. Well 3 days ago they where robbing a home when the owner Mr. Jefferson Walked in Alexander was the closest to the door he froze at the sight of the man. Mr Jefferson Hit Alexander in the head with his cane knocking him out the other 5 boys stabbed Mr Jefferson to Death and ran away When the police Arrived Alexander was lying on the ground knocked out still. He was Charged with Murder and Robbery the judge gave the 11 year old Alexander a deal if he turned in his friends who where in the house with him he would spare his life. Alexander Refused. His last Meal is brought in a light stew a piece of bread and a glass of water he slow eats it over 30 minutes. Thirty minutes after he finished his last meal 2 guards come and escort him to the bath where he is forcibly washed the boy is then dried by the guards. He is left naked and shackled as the condemned in this nation die naked. He is lead back to his cell where a priest waits for him for the next 30 minutes the boy goes over his confession. The priest tells him he is forgiven and after death he will go to heaven. 4 guards, his executioner, and the prison warden arrive the priest steps out, two of the guards step in Alexander puts his hands forward the guards unshackle his hands and turn him around and re-shackle his hands behind his back. 2 guards lead him out of the cell and stand in front of him the other 2 guards step behind him and place a hand each on his shoulders. The priest stands to his left the warden stands to his right his executioner stands in front of the front two guards. We begin the walk to the jails doors which lead right to the center of town. After we are through the door a crowd has formed to watch me die. I'm lead to the gallows all 4 guards stop the executioner steps forward and grabs me by the shackles and forces me up the eight steps and pushes me on to the x mark and places the rope around my neck. The warden then reads the sentence Alexander Lee A magistrate of the Great Nation of Britannia. Has foun

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2 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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No.16514 [Report]
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I'll be a bit more encouraging, because there's some positives, like the attention to detail. Clearly you've spent some time dreaming up this scenario, and it could be the basis for a good little tale.

But the critics' harsh words above are true though. So here's my suggestions.

1. It's a formidable wall of text. You need to break it down into paragraphs. Each paragraph should be like a self contained mini scenario. In my own writing, I tend to use very small paragraphs, sometimes just a sentence or two. Others make them longer. It's probably a matter of style, but you need to have some to break up the otherwise unrelenting text.

2. I can't see a single comma. Punctuation is important, as it further breaks up the text into easily processable chunks. Maybe when you read it, it seems okay, but try to put yourself in the position of someone who is coming to it fresh.

3. Again, partly due to (lack of) punctuation, the rhythm of your writing is kinda dull. It's just one descriptive sentence after another, try varying the pace and structure of the sentences to make it flow in a more conversational way.

4. As the other guy mentioned, switching from third to first person doesn't work here. I think it would work well in the first person throughout, getting inside the head of the victim, so to speak.

5. I'm not a professional writer or anything, just doing a bit for fun. So I'm not above looking stuff up if I'm not sure. For instance, if I was you I'd google "using paragraphs" and take that advice on board. I've done this loads of times in my own writing, every time I'm not sure about a word, I look it up, and look for alternatives.

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No.16515 [Report]
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sorry everyone english is my third language not very good at.sorry very sorry
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No.16516 [Report]
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>>16515
No need to apologize my friend, don't be too hard on yourself. Your English is better than some here who are writing in their first language! I hope you don't get discouraged by some comments here, at least you have the balls to write something in a public forum. Personally, I'm looking forward to more, and hope you will continue and improve. Good luck!
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No.16518 [Report]
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>>16515
Most people will not care that much about your English, but you should add at least some random line breaks/paragraphs to make this wall of text less uniform. Now it is even hard to read it.
If you move your eyes away you cant find where you were before. here is how it could look like:
————————


Alexander was a small boy aged 11 he looked like he was 9 the year is 1472 May 12th in the country of Britannia(Alternate Universe). Alexander is lying down in his cell his wrist and ankles shackled he knew in just two hours he would be hanging to death for his crimes. Now you might be asking what lead him to being condemned to die?

Well, unfortunately, Alexander was born to very poor parents who abandoned him at 5 he fell in with a group of street children that robbed people to survive. Well 3 days ago they were robbing a home when the owner Mr. Jefferson Walked in Alexander was the closest to the door he froze at the sight of the man. Mr Jefferson Hit Alexander in the head with his cane knocking him out the other 5 boys stabbed Mr Jefferson to Death and ran away When the police Arrived Alexander was lying on the ground knocked out still.
He was charged with Murder and Robbery the judge gave the 11-year-old Alexander a deal if he turned in his friends who were in the house with him he would spare his life. Alexander Refused. His last Meal is brought in a light stew a piece of bread and a glass of water he slow eats it over 30 minutes. Thirty minutes after he finished his last meal 2 guards come and escort him to the bath where he is forcibly washed the boy is then dried by the guards. He is left naked and shackled as the condemned in this nation die naked. He is lead back to his cell where a priest waits for him for the next 30 minutes the boy goes over his confession. The priest tells him he is forgiven and after death, he will go to heaven.

4 guards, his executioner, and the prison warden arrive the priest steps out, two of the guards step in Alexander puts his hands forward the guards unshackle his hands and turn him around and re-shackle his hands behind his back. 2 guards lead him out of the cell and stand in front of him the other 2 guards step behind him and place a hand each on his shoulders. The priest stands to his left the warden stands to his right his executioner stands in front of the front two guards.
We begin the walk to the jail's doors which lead right to the center of town. After we are through the door a crowd has formed to watch me die.

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No.16519 [Report]
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thank you for the advice and encouragement squunch and onix i will use it to improve now back to the drawing board to try and apply this advice.
Freakshow
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No.15678 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
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No.18459 [Report]
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>>15678
tentacles, too!
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No.18665 [Report]
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Artwork
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No.23671 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
Message me on Discord at haybalerbass#5451 if you're interested!
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No.25748 [Report]
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Hello friends. Sorry about the delays but I am now putting this into motion and we may see the tournament start to take place toward the end of this month. I am opening up three slots for original characters and will be taking open bids of any amount on my Discord server. Message me at haybalerbass#5451 if interested.
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No.25751 [Report]
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You deserve to lose your money if you fall for this blatant scam.
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No.25754 [Report]
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>>25751
There have been delays, but I intend to deliver. Art costs money. You pay for art, you get art. Nothing scam about it.
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No.25808 [Report]
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>>25748
hi i've sent two emails since last year that I haven't gotten a response to about this..could i get a response?
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No.25827 [Report]
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Are you still taking commissions?
File Sharing
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No.444 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
Requesting Garry's Mod child models, i use the starchild from ME3, and have been using it for way too long.
ANYTHING is allowed, as long as it's a kid, so come and GIVE ME YOUR CHILDREN!
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No.518 [Report]
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Open source software MakeHuman can generate human models of all kinds.

You would 'just' need to import the generated mesh into blender and export it to whatever gmod needs.
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No.1179 [Report]
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Are SFM models specifically locked to SFM, or can they be used in Blender, DAZ, etc somehow?
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No.1193 [Report]
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there are addons for blender to be able to import sfm models. and there are a lot of mesh conversion tools to find.
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No.1422 [Report]
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>>>>444
0
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No.1475 [Report]
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Gore & Death
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No.59413 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
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No.70502 [Report]
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>>59413
Requests
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No.12341 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
Had been searching around for hours, no luck. Someone plz help.
Requests
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No.12337 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
hxxps://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5c8ca62b4a856
Stories based on mechanical torture and humiliation, from embarrassment to snuff.
Bonus points if they have to exercise restraint or effort to minimize their suffering but fail.
Requests
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No.12323 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
please please please can someone help me to enter 144chan 155chan and 180chan i am blocked i change my vpn but the sites still blocked can someone else had the same think can help me and thanks
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No.12335 [Report]
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Works fine for me

also tested this proxy
www.hidemyass.com/proxy
also works properly

Looks like someone posted my pictures there too. I wonder whom of you all did it :)
Requests
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No.12328 [Report] AS
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I would like to request some fire emblem characters to be roasted, preferably over fires themselves. I'll post a few examples of girls I in particular like, but Any girls would be fine, aside from Camilla, Peri, Corrin, Viada and Sylvia. Apologies if you like them, but I don't. At all.

I don;t have much money, but if you need a little to motivate you, I can shoot ya a little.

Thank you in advance if anyone takes me up on this.

←-This is Titania. If it helps, she's a MILF too.
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No.12330 [Report]
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Tharja
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No.12331 [Report]
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Charlotte
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No.12332 [Report]
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Anna (Any of the annas from any game will do, though note that Fates Anna has 6 fingers)
(Also Apparently I don;t have much Anna art saved, gotta fix that)
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No.12333 [Report]
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Soliel (She likes girls if that helps)
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No.12334 [Report]
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And Mia to end it off
Requests
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No.12319 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
Help me pls
I need a photo of autopsied girl laying in coffin with white roses
Literature
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No.16391 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
gibt es hier gar keine deutschsprachige Stories?
Nur immer in Englisch?
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No.16478 [Report]
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Melanies Schicksal

Melanie befand sich in einer verzweifelten Lage. Haendler hatten
sie gefangen und
an einen Stamm Kannibalen verkauft. Sie hatten ein gutes Suemmchen
fuer Melanie bezahlt, da sie als Braten fuer ihr bevorstehendes
Fest mehr als willkommen war.

Am Morgen des grossen Festes kamen zwei grosse Kuechengehilfen sie
abzuholen.
Das wars dann, dachte Melanie. Ihr zierlicher, kleiner Koerper
wuerde bald lecker duftend
und knusprig die Festtafel der Kannibalen zieren.

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No.16479 [Report]
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Und noch eine, hab ich vor Jahren Geschrieben, Ich poste sie hier mal ohne sie nochmal probezulesen….:)
—
Das kleine Meerjungfrauenfilet


Es war einmal eine keine Meerjungfrau, die hatte wohl zuviel Disney
gesehen, denn sie traeumte davon, eines Tages einmal einen Prinzen zu heiraten.
Eines Tages erblickte sie ein grosses Segelschiff und dachte bei sich:
"Das muss sicher einem Prinzen gehoeren".
Neugierig schwamm sie zum Schiff und rief: "Hallo, ihr da oben,
habt ihr zufaellig einen Prinzen an Bord?"
Die Matrosen des Schiffes sahen ins Meer herab und erblickten die Meerjungfrau.
"Wow, eine Meerjungfrau!"

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No.16484 [Report]
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This isn't a German website. So keep the German threads to a minimum. There was already two created in a short time… Either compile these stories here, in another thread or publish them elsewhere, then reference them in a thread.

If /lit gets filled with every languages in the world, it'll be full of stuff no one can read.

Guro stories are already difficult to find to begin with.
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No.16485 [Report]
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My German snuff stories can be found here: https://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/Bender/german/
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No.16486 [Report]
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My english one here: http://www.dolcettish.com/index.php?topic=7969
3D CGI
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No.27979 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
The new US mercenary army invades Arizona to stop the uprising. Five boys get involved through no effort of their own.
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No.30107 [Report]
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No.30114 [Report]
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>>28733
I would certainly keep taking pictures.
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No.30115 [Report]
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No.30370 [Report]
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Everything that Ted had feared was happening it him, and now he was going to die right now!
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Artwork
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No.25097 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
Just a quick doodle. I dont have a lot of time to draw. But when I did this I thought people might like it.
13 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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No.25348 [Report]
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It's a really well done piece. That artist could be a professional. I'd love the source.
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No.25349 [Report]
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>>25347
Tried to look but they must've changed their twitter name because I can't find them anymore. Shame.
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No.25350 [Report]
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Tsk, that's a shame. What was their name, if you don't mind sharing? Did the only do SFW stuff?

As for doing a brain fuck of your character… I don't know… I might open really cheap commissions for that kind of thing.

8 Dollars for a sketch similar to one of these, maybe.
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No.25381 [Report]
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"Ive always wanted to be useful, but also, I wanna to stop holding others back… I guess I just finally found a way to do both.

"Goodbye everyone, its been really fun adventuring with you all!"
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No.25780 [Report]
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Star butterfly getting choked for no particular reason
Literature
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No.16453 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
Someone asked for a german story and i still search someone for translation. It is one of my better commisions i think and i really don't want to destroy it with my Bad english:)



Bocchis Quest für die wahre Freundschaft


„Ich bin Iniki, Kalea und komme von der Insel Ni’ihau. Schön euch kennen zu lernen.“ Grüßt die Austauschülerin mit starkem Dialekt. Sie sieht komplett anders wie die restlichen Schülerinnen der Klasse aus. Sie ist größer, hat leicht gebräunte haut und wildes schwarzes Haar.

Als Bocchi gehört hat das Klasse 1 eine neue Austauschülerin bekommt, war Sie noch sehr selbstsicher. „ Sie wird mit Sicherheit ebenfalls neue Freunde suchen und mich ganz schnell akzeptieren … “ Allerdings ist sie sich nun überhaupt nicht mehr sicher. Die neue Schülerin sieht unheimlich aus.

„ Wie soll Ich Iniki-san nur ansprechen? Das schaff Ich niemals! “ bricht Panik in Bocchis inneren aus.


Comment too long, view post No.16453 to see the full comment.
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No.16455 [Report]
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Well, and for reason as this anonymous loser. I do not post my stories here anymore. Thanks for remembering me;)
It was worth a try;)
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No.16459 [Report]
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>>16455
Also wo kann man denn deine Geschichten finden? Obwohl ich nicht für die Anderen sprechen kann, würde ich mich selber ja gern weiter deine deutsche Guro Geschichten lesen. Und vielleicht könnte ich dir beim Übersetzen helfen, solange ich Gefallen an ihnen finde.
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No.16460 [Report]
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Meine deutschen sowie englishen Geschichten findet man Großteils auf ekas portal. Es gibt auch 1 2 exclusive deviantart dolcettforum stories. Doch das meiste ist in ekas portal gesammelt unter den selber namen.:)

Grundschächlich versuche ich auch english zu schreiben. Doch größere Ideen schreibe ich dann doch lieber in deutsch, da Ich hier bereits schon genug Fehler mache. Das will ich den english natives nicht antun:)
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No.16461 [Report]
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Ps: ich Schussel habe garnicht bemerkt, daß gurochan einen großen Teil der Geschichte abgeschnitten hat…


Der rest:
Brüstchen feste und gierig. Es wird nur ein kleiner Schnitt nötig sein, um sie von dem zarten Fleische zu trennen. Sie ist fast versucht ein Brüstchen roh zu probieren.

„Ist das wirklich nötig, um einen Braten zuzubereiten?“ Fragt Bocchi stöhnend.

Kalea massiert Ihre Schultern und Ihren Rücken. „Du wirst sehen, es wird sehr lecker schmecken, wenn wir den Braten zubereiten.“ Auch wenn diese Teile von Bocchis Körper ebenfalls süß sind und mit Sicherheit auch nicht schlecht schmecken werden. So sind es doch die langweiligsten Teile, Sie beeilt sich also, um schnell zu Ihren Hintern zu kommen.

Langsam wird es Bocchi zu verdächtig. Sie mag unschuldig sein, aber Selbst Sie bemerkt, dass Kalea die komplette Gewürzmischung verwendet. Da bleibt ja nichts für den Braten übrig! Sie fühlt sich sehr unwohl. Es fühlt sich nicht richtig an. Auch wenn es sich gut anfühlt… „Du planst nicht zufällig mich zu braten?“ Entwickelt sich eine komplett verrückte Idee in Ihren Kopf.

Kalea knetet gerade Bocchis Hintern. Ihr gefällt die neue Entwicklung in dem Rollenspiel. „Soll das der Moment sein, in welchen die Damsel in Distress , die Wahrheit erkennt?“ Sie hat eine bessere Idee: „Es ist viel lustiger, ein Ahnungsloses Mädchen zuzubereiten.“ Sie kneift Bocchis Hintern besonders feste: „Unsinn!“ Kichert Sie Hexenartig. „Ich würde doch niemals ein Mädchen braten.“

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No.16471 [Report]
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Requests
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No.12306 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
Looking for places where you can search for porn torrents, that may have the more rare stuff like "3D by random Russian artist X".

I already know about sukebei.nyaa.si and of course e-hentai.org or exhentai.org but there's a lot you just can't find there.
Artwork
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No.25764 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
Hi everyone
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No.25769 [Report]
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>>25768
Thank you n.n/
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No.25771 [Report]
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>>25765
Oh hey! That's my commission! :D
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No.25772 [Report]
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n.n/ was a pleasure working with you, hope you don't mind, i have to make new portfolio
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No.25773 [Report]
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n.n/
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No.25774 [Report]
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BBW
Artwork
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No.25770 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
More examples
Requests
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No.12295 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
I'm looking for games made by AHduelism or はあばあと西りょなけ２日目Ｋ６ as he goes by on pixiv

http://home.att.ne.jp/blue/AHdualism/hall.htm
https://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=807347

I used to have a few of his older games. One of them I was even part way finished "translating" with Google, but they now appear to be lost forever in the internet. I can't find a place to download them from.

I thought surely someone in /g/ in the games thread would have them, but nothing has been posted yet.
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No.12300 [Report]
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You can buy them here.
https://www.melonbooks.com/index.php?main_page=maker_info&makers_id=MK0000012274
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No.12303 [Report]
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>>12300
I get a 403 forbidden error with that link. However, even if I could get to it I suspect it would need some form of Japanese payment I don't have.
Requests
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No.5933 [Report] AS
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[Reply]
anyone got guro or ryona of sasami from tenchi muyo?
16 posts omitted. Click Reply to view.
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No.10329 [Report]
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bump
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No.11034 [Report]
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Bump
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No.11177 [Report]
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>>7858
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No.11775 [Report]
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Bump
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No.12302 [Report]
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Cutest girl needs a bump
Delete post: []
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