Fuck me this is hot.

I love it!~
–Ms. Alex Payne

>>21271
Yay! Glad you enjoyed. :)

so hot <3

Tntestine is not some garden hose coiled inside, it is more like a skirt like this
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/553942822897895685/
which is hanging on the spine
so you will not be able to pull it out unless you tear it. probably the intestine will be stronger than the skirt so it will pull out.

Look up sausage making videos with natural casing, which is a certain layer of the intestine; It really is a long tube, though connected to other stuff while inside the body as Onix said.

Are you trying to link to other threads? You need more than the post number for that.

gonna bump this if anyone's got anything XD

From the drawthread

From the drawthread

Also from the drawthread

Last one

The artist name on Pixiv was "hahahahahahahah". Unfortunately one day he deleted his account along with all his works. Truly a shame…

Looks like it's from a game called 罪恶都市. I found several links on the web with what should be the full version of the game (罪恶都市之丧尸小镇本传+外传完整中文版) but I wasn't able to get it.

I come with a proposal, make your best drawings of cynthia, be it beheaded, crucified, drowned, cut throat, burned alive, impaled … I don't know … Let your imagination run wild
 

A better proposal would be to pay an artist

I can't pay :(

>>31795 Hey so I got it done. Thanks for dropping the Discord ID, I'll definitely keep you mind.

Sorry for the delay in posts. My drawing pen broke but I managed to fix it. I'll be back to killing Yoko in any of your guys' sexual desires…or at least I'll try. So do keep those requests coming.

Is it possible to have yoko as a futa and then have her sucking her huge cock and then gets sliced off ?

Would love to see a doggy pump her heart full of cum between her tits.

A heartfuck titfuck if you will and if you could fit in an x-ray that would be hot.

Bump

>>32295
Aw thanks for that man, however I'm not entirely sure when I'll get back to this board since my drawing pen is damaged. I will get back to it eventually.

bump

Part 2

The hour passed slowly. At first, Penny tried to sleep but the florescent lights above her were too bright even with her eyes closed. She wished that she had asked for some kind of blindfold – perhaps her T-shirt rolled up and draped over her eyes. At least that would have blocked the light. She was very conscious of the weight of the soil on top of her but it was not crushingly heavy. What it reminded her of most was being buried under the sand at the seaside, something her little brother and she would happily take turns at when they were younger. Every time she breathed in, she felt the loose compost settle a little but it was not so heavy that it kept her from breathing out, as she had been afraid it might be. Although she knew she was going to die in that box and had long since made her peace with the idea, the thought of being crushed and suffocated still scared her.

To pass the time, as her tomb began to grow ever warmer, she pondered what the experience of dying was going to be like. What would actually kill her? She was grateful that she was not being cooked over coals or an open fire and she did not like the thought of her skin burning, drying out and cracking. They had discussed the technical aspects of cooking her meat many times but the thought of how it would actually feel to be cooked never seemed to come up. This form of cooking was supposed to cook evenly, inside and out, rather than outside through to the inside so she imagined it would continue to grow warmer until her organs started to shut down. The trapped girl could not help wondering just how much heat she would live to experience and how much, if any, pain she might experience as she slowly cooked to death. She hoped that it would feel like falling asleep in a nice, hot bath.

Despite the weight of the soil above her, Penny found that she was able to move her fingers a little, just enough to give some stimulation. Her restricted movement and the overall circumstances meant a climax was highly unlikely but it still felt nice and was a welcome distraction from what was happening to her, although she could not help but wonder if her increased heart rate would speed up or slow down the cooking process. At least, for now, she was relatively comfortable.

“Hey there!” Penny was snapped out of her musings but April’s voice. She turned her head to the side and saw both girls walking towards her with large soda cups in their hands. Jessica appeared to be finishing some kind of pastry. “How’s it going?”

“Well, I think.” Penny smiled, glad to have company again. The loneliness of laying alone in the box in an otherwise empty exhibition hall was not something that she had anticipated, “It’s kind of hard to tell from here! Hey,” she chuckled as she watched Jessica pop the last morsel into her mouth and lick her fingers, “Make sure you leave room for lunch! I hear the main dish is slow-cooked ginger and you wouldn’t want to miss out on that, would you?”

“Oh don’t worry!” Jessica laughed. “I’ve got plenty of appetite left for you! So,” she pulled a stool from the side of the booth and sat down next to the table, bringing her to the same level as Penny’s exposed head and making it easier to chat, “How does it feel?”

Comment too long, view post No.21480 to see the full comment.

Why was this reposted? What was wrong with the last upload of it?

>>21501
Slight upward tweaks on the girls' ages and took out lines about younger girls being cooked. It was when I thought the ban thing looked real :)

because it's not sexy. It's just heartbreaking.

>>82426

Point taken. But that could be said about all the stuff on this site, so I still don't understand.

I can see what I can do.

Hit me up: [email protected]

I agree with you, hard to find people who want to snuff and be snuffed.

when I was on F-list I did not notice any problems with that
yes, there are few people into that stuff, but it is not f-list problem it is just that this is pretty uncommon. it is not it is banned or somehow repressed to be pushed somewhere else.
of course, most will refuse to play with snuff just like most will refuse pretty much any kind of specific fetish.

also, snuff itself is different, it can be serious, silly, consensual or forced. so it will be pretty hard to find someone who has the same tastes.

i'm aware that it's a niche fetish, just like everything on this site, which is why I asked here, if it is exists, someone here would know it

>>14600
yes, but this is also the reason why the will be no better site than f-list for this purpose
it's userbase would be very small and still no way to find what you are looking for.

Well then…

The first chapter, though it would better be called a prologue with the current second chapter counting as the first, made me feel like I'm reading one of my own very first attempts at writing. Your experience of course makes you able to do a much better job with words, but the problems with storytelling are all the same. All stemming from it being a retelling, I think.

First: huge exposition dump. And totally out of place. The easiest thing that can be done to improve this would be not to have the twins fall asleep at the briefing and put all the info about Chaldea and its mission there. Even if the reader would still have to read through the same boring lecture, at least it would be an actual in-universe lecture and if the reader gets bored, at least they feel the same as the characters. Well, I guess technically it is currently also in-universe as it's Mash telling it, but it feels artificially put in this place of the story when there was even a dedicated briefing where all of this was already told if only the twins didn't fall asleep at the start (you can still make them fall asleep after you've already conveyed all the important info, so that they can still then be kicked out and all). Another thing this would accomplish would be separating the pieces of exposition so that all the stuff related to Chaldea can go in the briefing and Mash can then only tell about her being a demi-servant. Of course ideally the size of the exposition dump should also be reduced as much as possible. Are all the details about how chaldeas works and that its not enough by itself but also needs something called sheba? I bet even the original authors have no idea how all of this works, they've just put a bunch of mysterious words together, so why should we care. The important thing is only that it shows the incineration of humanity and the characters now have to stop that.

Second: rushing through things, some of which call for more detailed description, others should be cut completely. Which I think stems from the issue I wanted to list as third, but now that I think of it, they're mostly the same, and that is: you're not writing a story, but retelling a game/anime. There is no point in the whole "they fought some enemies and gained some exp so they then fought stronger enemies and defeated them too and finally they fought even stronger enemies but by that time they were leveled up enough to defeat those too… oh, and among the enemies there were normal skeletons, shadow servants and some weird skeletons called dragon tooth warriors" part. Save it for the time someone asks you how the game works. Why is it important to list the types of enemies? You're not describing the battles to show how each provided a new or different challenge and how the characters overcame it or something. So just say "they fought their way through to the mountain and discovered a cave". Or focus on the impact the fighting had on the characters, like "they had to fight their way to the mountain and Olga Marie was constantly complaining about it, but Mash said that there's a positive side to it as well, as through practice her and Carmilla were getting better at fighting together, preparing for the fight with the servant waiting for them in the mountain, to which Carmilla added that another positive side is that killing everything in their way is fun, just too bad skeletons don't bleed". Listing the types of enemies on the other end only leaves the reader with questions: why are there skeletons? there's now a new weird type of skeleton, so you mean normal skeletons are normal? The point of the prologue is to introduce the reader to the setting if they haven't played the game, but instead it only makes them more confused. You're also introducing new things that you don't care to explain either, mostly about the twins. They live in the same room why? Were they provided with two rooms, but decided to use only one so they can be together? Did they ask for a single room, provided with one with two beds, but only use one bed? Did they explicitly ask for a room with a double-sized bed, never trying to hide their relationship? Also how does it all work with them both being masters of the same servants? Is it some special power of being twins, because they like have one soul for the two of them or something?

Fourth: all the "oh, by the way, there was that too" moments stemming from you trying to rush through things but then facing the problem that the thing you skipped happened to be important later. Like "oh, by the way Olga Marie was with them all that time", yeah, you did say she joined them, but then never mentioned her again until absolutely necessary, by that point even I forgot she was there, even though I did play the game. Lev Lainur appeared out of nowhere. If you haven't introduced him earlier, at least bother to more properly explain who he is the moment he appears.

All in all if you want it to properly work as the introduction into the setting for people unfamiliar with it, it should be more thorough and detailed. Either that or give up on that and repurposed it for people who are already familiar with the setting to introduce them to what is different in your story, so focus on the twins and Carmilla, and in places of explanation dumps put something like "the briefing explained about Chaldea and its mission to protect humanity" just to inform the reader that the characters now know that, and what exactly are the details the reader already know, and actually even for those who don't know, is it really all that important?

Now, for the second chapter, it's much better from the storytelling standpoint, because now you're actually telling a story and not retelling a game or anime. Just too much alcohol for my taste, but I'll have to hope that it was just because of Jink Ke and will never happen ever again. Also the part with Mash still felt too rushed. It's fine if you want her seduced so easily, but at least give her some dialogue too.

Comment too long, view post No.21295 to see the full comment.

>>21295

Thanks for taking the time to give such detailed feedback.

I agree with pretty much most of what you said, for some reason while writing some of the details seemed more important than they do now. The first rough draft didn't really explain CHALDEAS, but it seemed necessary to explain why Olga Marie was so upset when it had turned red, and Mash's explanation seemed the only place where it would fit. And when I was explaining one thing it seemed natural to explain others. Now I agree that it should have been explained during Olga Marie's briefing, it would give even more weight to her horror if she had spoken about it with barely withheld excitement earlier, and things like SHEBA could have been left out entirely. Maybe SHEABA's explanation is where the protagonists could have dozed off, hinting to the reader know there is more to know without piling on too much exposition. My initial plan was to have three blocks of exposition, after the rayshift from Mash, from Dr. Roman after establishing contact, and from Da Vinci after returning. I thought interrupting with exposition once might be less painful, but it might have been better the first way.

You're right that I could have explained more about the twin's situation. Grand Order has a handful of Servants that are two characters sharing a single Spirit Origin (Castor and Pollux might have even been the impetus for me to finally finish the first chapter), and I suppose my thinking was that is was a similar situation, just as a Master instead of a Servant. They probably applied for a single room, either as a couple or sibling roommates. Whether or not they were open about the other side of their relationship could go either way. The idea of siblings sharing a servant isn't a totally new idea to Fate, though the other instance utilized unique sorcery and had the servant split into a good side and an evil side, each sister controlling one. https://typemoon.fandom.com/wiki/Edelfelt_sisters

Mash's scene at the end of Chapter 2 was more intended to be kind of an epilogue rather than it's own full scene. The focus of the story is more the guro aspect and that scene was pretty vanilla, just establishing a sexual relationship between Mash and the twins going forward. Though I can see where you're coming from saying Mash could have used more dialogue and characterization.

I don't know if I'll try rewriting the first chapter, I'm just kind of relieved to finally move it out of the WIP folder after two years. Chapter 2 was in there less than a week. Enthusiasm for rewriting is dampened even further by not being able to edit posts here. Maybe I'll revisit it eventually, but for now I'm just excited to finally be past it and able to write some of the ideas I have for the setting.

The alcohol was indeed mainly because of Jing Ke. If I write a chapter featuring Shuten Douji it would probably heavily involve drinking, but otherwise I wouldn't expect it to be involved much, maybe just some rum or something with the pirates or other debauchery servants.

Comment too long, view post No.21301 to see the full comment.

>>21301

Why do I forget to add my name so often?

> I don't know if I'll try rewriting the first chapter, I'm just kind of relieved to finally move it out of the WIP folder after two years.

Good point. That's why I was saying maybe you shouldn't have tried to explain every detail of the setting to the newcomers, and instead focus on what's different and important in your own story. Maybe that wouldn't have taken two years. But what's done is done, no point in turning back now that you've finally gotten done with the prologue and got to the actual story. I bet no reader would prefer you reworking the prologue for another two years over seeing the continuation hopefully soon.

I may be wrong judging from just one chapter, but if your story is going to focus more on Servants killing each other in various ways inside Chaldea for the sake of power ups, rather than on saving the humanity, then the original story events can be skipped entirely and just mentioned like "after the events of such and such singularity such and such servants have joined Chaldea… so let's see how we can have fun with them now", or maybe a character telling another character "remember how you've used such and such technique in that battle back then? Wouldn't it be fun to try use it for fun?" and readers familiar with the original story would be pleased with recognizing the reference, while for readers unfamiliar that suggestion by itself would serve as enough introduction into that character having that technique.

Happy to hear that I've inspired you to get started on writing a series of your own ^^ I'm not familiar with FGO myself, only watched the UBW anime as a reference for some comms earlier this year, but I'll make sure to give it a read ^^

That said, there already exists a pretty good FGO-oriented story by Deathstalker, here: http://depravityrepository.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=1180 Not saying this to discourage you, just pointing out some scenarios from that verse that were already done by another author that you might want to avoid ^^

>>5847
Do you use f-list at all?

>>5858
If he doesn't, I do, what's yours and when your first boytoy is thru you'll have more to go around

>>5859
www.f-list.net/c/Zinkova

>>5863 so your profile at f-list. Do you have a Discord?

>>5866
I don't use Discord for RP. Sorry!

>>21489


I wanted to add another thing I noticed, which is this "announcement" is NOT on the front page and is NOT in the rules.

Nothing adds up.

>>21490
I think this is again that spammer's doing. In feedback thread mods already solved cp spam problem and I hope this sticky ban message would disappear.

I agree that this sudden loli ban sounds quite fishy.

Let's hope :)

Just to be safe, we should refrain from posting until this all clears up.

Part 2 - An Explosively Good BBQ

Suzie had not lasted much longer Saturday afternoon – the mental and physical stress, not to mention the trauma to her young body, had tired her right out. She has excused herself from the party, taken a long hot bath then gone to bed. It was Sunday morning before she awoke, feeling sore and aching but no more than after a good gym session. Sitting no the toilet, she heard a metallic clink of something hitting the bowl and realised that she must have passed the explosive device she’d been told to swallow. She wasn’t going to ask her dad if he wanted it back and she certainly didn’t feel like fishing around for it but it did get her thinking. Her dad had said that all the devices used in her challenge the day before had been adapted from his military projects at work so what was the little explosive supposed to do? Were you supposed to trick and enemy into swallowing it then detonate it once you were a safe distance away or something? She resolved to sneak into her dad’s study and find out.

As luck would have it, when she came out of the bathroom, Suzie realised that her parents had already left for Church, leaving her to sleep, and she was alone in the house. She quickly dressed in black leggings and a black crop top and went to investigate. In her dad’s study she found not only a whole case of the shiny metal pellets but a small detonation device with each. Clearly the one that had been inside her had been specially adapted for the purpose, to explode on a timer, but the rest seemed to be unmodified. The manual with them made for very interesting reading indeed and gave her an idea. She returned to her bedroom and started to think through the plan.

Putting on makeup with her left hand was trickier than she’d thought it might be but she was damned if she was not going to spend her last day or so fully expressing herself. She knew that she wouldn’t be allowed to wear any for the barbecue but she figured that by that point it would be the least of her worries. With a pair of scissors, she trimmed the burned ends off her long black hair. It was not perfect but she made a reasonable job of it. Looking out her bedroom window she saw that her dad and his friends had clearly been busy while she was sleeping.

The arena had been completely dismantled and the damaged sections of lawn re-turfed. What most caught her eye, however, was the metal barbecue that had been constructed on the patio. She noticed that it was not as wide as she had expected but appeared to be a two-tier construction. She hoped that her dad did not plan no butchering her before cooking – that might ruin the plan! Although, she reflected, it would still work after a fashion, just wouldn’t be as entertaining or satisfying.

Remembering what she had seen the in manual, Suzie used her phone to pair the explosive pellet to the detonator then, taking a deep breath, picked up her scissors again. One she had done what she needed to do, she went downstairs to check on her brother.

Suzie opened the front door to see her brother being sucked off by a blonde in a pink crop-top that was really little more than a sports bra. She recognised her at once – it was Angelique from her year at school. Angelique lived two streets away and was the deadly combination of pretty, rich and popular which made her feel she had the right to act like a world-class bitch to anyone who fell short of her social perfection.

Comment too long, view post No.21483 to see the full comment.

nice story

>>21495
Thanks :)